Somehow I Found You
by MrsK81
Summary: Young, bored & desperate for something more meaningful to happen in her life, privileged Isabella Swan meets the mysterious but beautiful Edward Cullen. As their relationship begins & she learns his secrets, something they have no control over threatens to pull them apart.
1. Chapter 1

**I wrote this ages ago and thought I'd lost it when my laptop died! Prettyflour kindly preread for me but it's been that long I doubt she remembers much at all! I have tinkered and changed it since, so all mistakes are mine!**

**I own nothing!**

**Chapter 1   
**

**BPOV**

**1941**

Europe was at war. Brave men were fighting to uphold everything they believed in, and each day countless children lost their fathers, wives lost their husbands, mothers lost their sons, and lives were torn apart.

Even though America was yet to join the fight, many people—including my grandfather—insisted it was only a matter of time before we did. Already, some of our service men were volunteering to travel to Europe and offer what help they could. Already, some of our men were losing their lives and if only we understood the scale of what was to come.

Soon, the world would be at war, and I, Isabella Dwyer, was accompanying my mother and father to a country club on a Saturday night to socialise with ignorant imbeciles who refused to even discuss what was really happening. Boys would be lining up at my table to ask my father if they could have a dance, while thousands and thousands of miles away, blood was being spilled, yet no one here seemed to give that a second thought.

Renee and Philip Dwyer were the power-couple at Lakeside Country Club in Winnetka, Cook County, about fifteen miles from down town Chicago. Phil owned an assortment of highly successful establishments such as this throughout the Midwest. We lived in the largest house, owned the most expensive car, and I was dressed in only the best clothes available.

Renee took great pride in showing me off to all her so-called friends in this damn place. She wanted everyone to believe we were the picture-perfect family, and why wouldn't they? Renee was the wonderful doting wife, with a handsome hard-working husband and innocent, passive daughter.

But if only they knew the truth.

Phil was in fact just my step-father. My biological father, Charles Swan, had died just months after he and my mother had married. He was one of five men who had attempted to hold up a bank and had been shot by police whilst trying to escape. His death left my mother alone and pregnant, but, as she always did, Renee landed on her feet.

She was still in the early stages of her pregnancy with me when she and Phil met. Her charm and still attractive form wooed Phil in an instant and they were married just four and a half weeks later. He knew the full story, but took me on as his own child without hesitation. No one else was privy to the scandalous backstory to my mother's life and still to this day it was assumed I was Phil's biological daughter and the shot-gun wedding was to avoid embarrassment for having a child out of wedlock.

Not that I could complain. Phil and my mother were both attentive and affectionate parents. For seventeen years I wanted for nothing, and my lifestyle made me the envy of many.

The reality for me was different. Although my parents treated me as a princess, I was bored, suffocated, and desperately curious to branch out from this bubble I was kept in. I wanted to see the world, meet real people, and live a little. I didn't want to be the agreeable girl in the corner any more.

With a petulant huff, I tugged at the tight-fitting blue dress I had squeezed into this evening. The pins in my hair were hurting and I wanted to yank them out and let it fall down naturally, but mother thought this look made me more sophisticated…more elegant.

The smoke-filled air in the club made my eyes sting, and the jovial laughter from around the room bored me silly. I sat drumming my fingers absently on the table, wishing desperately for something…or someone interesting to arrive.

My mother's hand smothered mine on the table and she stilled my fingers. "Isabella, please mind your behaviour," she scalded softly, and I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, Mother."

I looked around and saw the same faces, at the same tables, telling the same stories and the same jokes. The same single men hovered by the bar, scouring the room for their next unsuspecting target, which I pointedly hoped would not be me. Pathetic.

Trying to drown out the incessant chatter I closed my eyes and focused on the music that filled the room. There was a new three-piece band and female singer in the lounge tonight.

I danced away inside my own head to the soothing tones of the saxophone that was currently enjoying a solo performance before the final chorus. The rhythmic drumming in the background did in no way overwhelm the tune that was playing…upbeat yet relaxing…like nothing I'd ever heard. Then the piano took over the solo, and the music that emanated from whoever was playing sent shivers down my spine. I still had my eyes closed, but I could picture the pianist's fingers dancing away magically along the ebony and ivory keys. Not a single note missed, not a single timing issue. Beautiful.

Curious as to who was playing in such a captivating manner, I opened my eyes and looked over to the stage. The first thing I noticed was the beauty of all three members of the band. The girl was petite and extraordinarily pale. Her dark hair had been softly curled and sculpted around her face, and she wore a flattering, floor-length gown which shimmered under the spotlights on the stage. The man on the saxophone was tall, with golden-blond hair which had been pulled back into a ponytail, something which would, no doubt, be frowned upon by the snobbish members of the club. He too, was pale, but strikingly handsome.

I meant to look toward the drummer, but the second my eyes fell to the man playing piano, I was unable to tear them away. He had a head full of the most bizarre colour hair I had ever seen. In the light it cast glimmers of bronze, red, and gold, and it had been slicked back to his head with just a few rogue strands that had escaped and stuck out wildly. My gaze dropped to his face and I gasped. _Beautiful._ The man…no, this was no man…the _boy_ had a wonderfully defined jaw line, high cheekbones, and a pair of dazzling gold eyes which were currently burning right into my own. Still remarkably pale, he was the most handsome man I had ever seen in my short life.

Not once while he played did he drop his gaze yet amazingly he never missed a single note. I thought I could see a look of frustration on his face as he continued to stare at me. We maintained eye-contact for the remainder of the song, before my mother just had to interrupt.

"Isabella, why don't you go and dance with Mr. Newton's son. Michael has always had a soft spot for you." My mother waved over at the table across the dance-floor and beckoned the boy over. "He's very handsome don't you think?"

Did it matter?

As obedient as a dog, Mike was up on his feet and at my side in an instant. He asked Phil if he could have the dance with me and then held out his hand expectantly, like I had no say in the matter.

I was going to refuse and feign a headache or something else equally mundane, but I realised that in dancing with Mike, I could get closer to the mysterious boy playing the piano and I was much more interested in him than I should be.

"Thank you, Mike, I would be delighted to." I put on my most polite face and fought back the gag as I took his sweaty hand and let him lead me to join the other mind-numbingly, dull dancers.

Attempting to no doubt impress me with his foxtrot or waltz, Mike _tried_ to twirl and quick-step around the floor, but I held fast. I deftly manoeuvred us into a position which allowed me to stare at the beautiful boy without interruption.

I could hear Mike making conversation as we swayed on the spot—but I paid little attention. Once again I was locked in an intense moment with the boy on stage. He had the same look of intensity on his face, yet also evident was an expression of utter bewilderment.

"Um, Isabella, the song's finished..." Mike stopped moving in front of me and looked at me hopefully. "Would you like to dance to the next?"

Unable to resist another glance over his shoulder, I was shocked to see the boy now glaring at Mike. His eyes looked almost murderous and I could have sworn I could see his top lip curling slightly, almost as if he were snarling like a vicious dog.

"No thank you," I replied and turned to rejoin my parents, feeling those golden eyes burning into my back as I walked away. A thrill of excitement ran down my spine and my heart actually skipped a beat.

The band left the stage for a short interval, and earned an enthusiastic round of applause as they did. Judging by the reaction, it was clear I wasn't the only one who appreciated their performance. As a child, I had played in the back rooms at the club on more occasions than I could count—my mother and I would often visit Phil here while he was working, so I knew exactly where the band would be waiting before they re-appeared on stage.

"Excuse me," I said sweetly and inwardly scoffed as the men rose from their seats as I stood. "I just need to visit the rest-room."

My mother barely paused for breath; she was too deep in conversation with Mrs. Stanley to notice my absence. Mrs. Stanley was another high-flying club member who obsessed over money, clothes, and socialising. My mother and she were like washer women—they liked nothing more than to gossip about everyone and everything that was going on in the neighbourhood.

I headed toward the bathrooms and then when the coast was clear, I slipped through the door which led to the offices and dressing rooms.

There were few people back here, and anyone who saw me, thought nothing of my presence. I knew exactly where the main dressing room was and made a point of walking straight past with just a quick glance inside. The door was left ajar and I immediately saw the beautiful boy pacing as if something had agitated him. He didn't look approachable in that state, so I continued down the corridor without stopping.

Before I had even made four steps, I heard the door close and footsteps sound behind me. I whirled around and gasped as the beautiful boy stood right in front of me. His eyes conflicted with emotions I couldn't read.

My heart began to race, and my hands trembled. But it wasn't fear—this was something else. Something I had never felt before. Want? Lust? Attraction? I swallowed thickly and waited for him to speak.

But he never said a word.

After what seemed like hours, a shrill voice travelled down the corridor, "Edward, we need to get back."

I looked over _Edward's _shoulder and the petite girl from the group smiled at me. She seemed friendly enough, yet this boy in front of me looked something quite different.

"I'll be right there," Edward replied, his voice as smooth as silk and dripping with seduction. "It was very nice to...not quite meet you, Isabella."

He turned to leave but instinctively I reached out and snatched his arm. The jolt of electricity that passed through us made me recoil and I gasped again. Edward clearly felt it too, because he spun back around and looked at me in shock.

"How…how…did…you know my name?" I stuttered, unsure what else to say, but loving how my name sounded coming from him.

Edward cocked his head slightly and frowned. "I think most people in the building know who you are, Isabella. After all, you are the daughter of the owner, are you not?"

"Oh...yes, of course. I'm sure they do." I bit my lip and looked down at the floor, feeling the heat flame over my cheeks. "Excuse me."

"Wait, I'm sorry if I was rude—I didn't mean to be." Edward stepped slightly closer and a strange scent filled my nose.

It was sweet, yet masculine, soft, yet rough, and it heightened my earlier feelings of lust and attraction. I was fast becoming confused. No boy had ever elicited this type of response from me. No boy had ever captured my attention so much.

"I am Edward Cullen and it is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Dwyer. Or would you prefer Isabella?" Edward smiled shyly at me and held out his hand.

"It is nice to meet you too, Edward." I took his hand and a breath caught in my throat as he closed his fingers around mine and brought them to his mouth.

His skin was cold—Icy cold yet all I felt emanating though my body was a glorious heat. Just as his lips brushed my knuckles I saw his jaw clench and his grip on my fingers tightened. Just a fraction of a second later, he dropped my hand and stepped away from me. His entire body had visibly stiffened and he looked tense and confused.

"I should be getting back," I mumbled, equally confused by his quick-changing moods. I stepped around him and began to walk away, but something made me stop. I turned back around and looked at Edward and this time I saw a brief glimpse of torture in those incredible eyes. Knowing this boy was different somehow, sensing a dangerous aura filling the air around him, I still knew I wanted more. "Perhaps, we could dance later?"

Edward's brow furrowed slightly, before a dazzling smile appeared on his face. "I think I would quite like that, Isabella."

I nodded and smiled back. Thankful for my unusual spurt of confidence I had to fight the urge to skip as I made my way back to the main section of the club and to my table.

The beautiful boy was called Edward and all being well I would be dancing with him later. This night was definitely a night I would not be calling boring any longer.

No one seemed to have even noticed my prolonged absence and I slipped back into my seat without a word. I watched in utter fascination as Edward and his band-mates were introduced back onto the stage. The music began to play, the pretty voice of the girl began to sound out throughout the room, but I heard nothing except the piano and saw nothing besides Edward.

"Isabella, what on earth are you staring at?" my mother asked in irritation. I glanced at her but she had already followed my line of sight in Edward's direction. Her brow creased ever so slightly, and then a cheeky glint appeared in her eyes. "Oh, I see. My, he is a handsome boy isn't he?"

"No...I mean...yes. But, that's not why I was...well I wasn't staring—he plays the piano so beautifully," I replied and blushed furiously.

She smiled at me and a short laugh escaped her lips, but she never said another word. Instead, her attention was immediately refocused on Mrs. Stanley. I breathed a sigh of relief and settled in to watch Edward again.

It thrilled me that he too, seemed unable to keep his eyes from mine for any lengthy period. Occasionally, though, his eyes would dart quickly around the room and narrow in what appeared to be anger. But, almost as quickly he would look at me again, and a content, crooked smile would tug on the corners of his lips.

The night seemed to last forever and I grew more and more anxious as I waited for the band to finish. My mother didn't encourage any other potential suitors over, much to my delight, and I hoped and prayed that my father would not decline Edward should he ask me to dance at the end of the night.

After the last song was over and the band graciously accepted the generous applause they left the stage. My stomach flipped and I felt sick. Would he come out into the club? Would he dare ask my father if I could dance? Did he even want to dance with me?

I began to hyperventilate so I closed my eyes and concentrated on remaining composed.

"Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Dwyer. My name is Edward Cullen, and I was hoping to dance with your extraordinarily beautiful daughter. If you don't object of course?"

My eyes snapped open and a huge smile formed on my face when I saw Edward standing by the table. He had changed into a formal and very expensive looking three piece suit. The few rogue hairs I had noticed earlier were firmly back in place and his expression was polite and earnest.

"Cullen? Dr. Cullen's son I presume?" Phil asked with a cigar between his teeth.

"Yes Sir. My parents are here tonight. They are seated with Reverend Weber's wife." Edward held out his hand to Phil who smiled at the gesture before extending his own arm and shaking his hand.

"Edward, you play piano so beautifully, are you a regular member of the band?" my mother asked softly.

"Not usually no, ma'am. I'm hoping to attend medical school in the fall. Piano is just a passion of mine. My cousin had a prior commitment this evening and I merely took her place."

"Medical school? Like father like son." The smile on my mother's face was huge. "I expect he's very proud."

"That he is." Edward returned my mother's smile. "As I'm sure you are. Your daughter is without a doubt the most beautiful girl in the room. Like mother, like daughter."

Goodness, this boy knew the perfect things to say. My mother was putty in his hands, and my father too seemed impressed. In fact, all the people at the table were watching him intently. Almost as mesmerised with him as I was.

"Would you mind if I danced?" I asked my parents and held my breath for their answer.

I needn't have worried, because after that performance there was no way they were saying no.

"Please, go ahead, Edward," my father said happily. "And please make your parents aware they are more than welcome to join us over here."

"I will do, Sir." Edward turned to me and held out his hand. "Shall we?"

I nodded and let him pull me to my feet. The second our hands connected, I felt it again…that intense spark and again I was flooded with an array of unfamiliar sensations. All eyes were on us as Edward escorted me to the dance-floor. _We'll Meet Again_ by Vera Lynn played and provided the perfect song to slow-dance to. As the song progressed, our swaying slowed and Edward held me close to him.

He was still so cold…unnaturally cold, even his breath was like a cool breeze over my face. I kept my body as close to his as I could, and I felt how hard his chest was beneath his clothing…hard as stone. There was so much hesitance in the way he held me and when I stole a glance at his face I could see those conflicted emotions in his eyes again.

"What is wrong?" I asked, not particularly caring if I was speaking out of turn.

A smile formed on his face and he took a deep breath through his nose, briefly closing his eyes. "Nothing. Now that I'm dancing with you, I doubt things could get any better."

I blushed and looked away. I wanted to rest my head on his shoulder, I wanted to wrap my arms around him and feel all of him. Such a brazen action with a relative stranger would not go down well with my parents.

"What's wrong?" Edward repeated my question with a smirk.

Unable to resist smiling in response I giggled. "Nothing. Now I'm dancing with you."

"Tell me what you're thinking." Edward moved his face close to my ear and whispered, "Please, Isabella, I need to know exactly what you're thinking at this very moment."

The desperation in his voice scared me. I looked at him, and the tortured expression was back. Even though I didn't understand why, I could see he was pained and I hated to think of him like that. "I'm thinking that you frighten me," I answered honestly. "But, only because of the way you make me feel."

"You should be frightened. In the literal sense of the word, I should add. I am not good for you, Bella," he said sadly.

I failed to heed the warning, I was grinning at his affectionate abbreviation of my name. Something no other had ever done. "Bella?" I whispered, "I like it."

A smile formed on his face, but it did not reach his eyes.

"Edward, perhaps I could dance with my daughter now." My father interrupted us and Edward nodded politely.

"Certainly, Mr. Dwyer. Thank you, Isabella. It was an absolute pleasure." He stepped back and I immediately felt his absence.

I watched him walk away sadly, and heard my father chuckle. "Isabella, don't fret. He can have you back after this song."

I smiled sheepishly and allowed myself to be twirled around like a young girl. Every time I saw Edward he was watching me, smiling. He had moved to sit at the table with my parents along with another man and woman, who I presumed were his parents. They were nothing alike in their hair style, features, or build. Yet, as with the band-mates, there was a striking similarity that they all shared; the pale, flawless skin, the strange golden eyes, and of course the extraordinary beauty.

After the song ended, I was released by my father at the edge of the dance floor. Edward was the first to his feet as I approached the table, and he pulled out a chair for me in-between him and my mother.

"Thank you," I said shyly.

I was introduced to Dr. Carlisle Cullen and his adorable wife, Esme. They had recently moved here from a small town in Washington and were finding it difficult to adjust to city life. Of course, my mother took to Esme in an instant and within ten minutes she had secured invites to all the coffee mornings, brunch dates, and club events.

I was too enchanted with Edward to pay attention for long. My hands were clutching the sides of the seat and because of the close proximity of our chairs; it left me just inches away from Edward's thigh.

My throat was dry and I could barely focus on anything except the incredible desire to touch him. I almost felt my fingers pulling toward him, and judging by the expression on his face, he felt it too.

"If you were tired, I am sure your father would allow me to walk you home," he whispered in my ear and I nodded once.

I feigned a yawn and quickly apologised for my manners. "I'm sorry, but I feel quite tired. Would you mind if I returned home?"

"I will not have you walking home alone, Isabella. There are too many questionable characters out there," my father said sternly and Edward immediately offered his assistance.

"I would be happy to walk Isabella home. It is only a short walk from here."

I fully expected his offer to be rebuffed but both my parents were appeased straight away and readily agreed. I thought I caught a warning look from Dr. and Mrs. Cullen in Edward's direction, but it was so fleeting I assumed I was mistaken.

"Thank you, Edward, that would be very kind." Mt heart was pounding, my hands almost shaking, and I was sure my mother would notice, but is she did, she never acknowledged it.

I allowed him to help me with my coat and then took his offered arm. I said, "Goodbye" to all those around the table and walked outside on the arm of Edward. I shivered as I adjusted to the cool, night air.

"Don't be afraid, Bella. I would never hurt you," Edward said solemnly, misunderstanding the reason behind my shiver. "You have no idea how long I've waited for you."

**A/N A lot different to anything else I've done I know, but it was an idea I had and just couldn't shake! I have two different routes this story could go…a relatively short two, possibly three chapters or a longer length fic with a little more drama! Let me know which you'd prefer to see!**

**The rest (either way) isn't prewritten, so I can't promise frequent updates…but whichever way I decide to go, I have the outline in my head.**

**I'd love to know what you think!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Bye for now,**

**Katy**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow thank you for such a wonderful response to the first chapter! Sorry the second took so long, it was quite a challenge to get my head into this era!**

**Thanks to Prettyflour for agreeing to preread another one of my fics! I have tinkered so all mistakes are mine!**

**I tried to be as accurate as I could with the time/place but please feel free to point anything out! **

**Chapter 2**

Walking home with Edward was one of the most innocently exhilarating experiences of my life. He was sweet, intense, curious, and tortured all rolled into one. For the entire walk home he asked me question after question and I could see his eyes studying me, as though he was desperately trying to hear something that my voice wasn't telling him.

In the hour I spent in his company he managed to discover more about me than my own friends knew. He quite literally wanted to know _everything_ about me. I told him what my favourite flower was, what music I loved to listen to, what books I could read over and over, and I even admitted that as of that very evening my new favourite colour was gold, although I left out the reason behind the sudden shift from blue.

He didn't miss the blush that formed on my cheek and a look of frustration flashed across his face.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked shyly as his eyes gazed at me intently.

"You have no idea how difficult you are to read, Bella," he murmured, and one solitary finger brushed a rogue piece of hair from my face. "Every answer you give me creates a thousand more questions that I want to ask. Each time you hesitate before you answer I _know_ you're thinking something completely different to what you say but I have no idea what."

"Oh," I whispered, not sure what else I could say. I didn't understand entirely what he meant. Surely I was no more difficult to read than your average sixteen year old girl? "And that frustrates you?"

"You have no idea how much," he murmured. "I usually find people very easy to figure out…but you…you are a complete mystery to me."

We were sitting out on the porch when my parents arrived home from the club. I saw Phil's face tighten when he saw Edward was still with me. Almost simultaneously I saw Edward frown and he glanced at me from the corner of his eye.

"It's getting late, Isabella, go inside now," my mother said politely. "Thank you for walking her home, Edward. You were the envy of many young men tonight."

"It was a pleasure, Mrs. Dwyer." Edward smiled. "Isabella, it was wonderful to meet your acquaintance."

"Thank you, Edward." I beamed as he winked discreetly before stepping away. "Will you be performing at the club again soon?"

"Rosalie—my cousin—will be returning soon and she usually plays the piano," Edward told me.

"Returning from where?" Phil asked.

I thought I saw Edward smirk, but he hid it well and answered, "She and another of my cousins went away for a short break in Alaska. She needed to _revitalize. _I should get home before my parents start to worry. Goodnight, Mr. and Mrs. Dwyer. Isabella."

"Goodnight, Edward." I couldn't bring myself to look away as he walked down the short driveway. I was already so infatuated with the mysterious and beautiful boy I wondered how I was ever going to get any sleep.

I felt my mother tug on my arm and reluctantly followed her inside the house. I tried to listen as she told me about the events at the club after I left, but it was no use. I feigned tiredness and excused myself to bed. Hours later sleep evaded me as I thought about Edward; the bizarre but mesmerising colour of his eyes, and the almost musical sound to his voice. There was the same pale yet flawless complexion and perfect features that all of the Cullen's seemed to share, yet if it were even possible they looked nothing alike.

Edward's face was the last thing I thought of before sleep finally came, and it remained etched in my mind for the entire night. That was the first time I dreamt of Edward Cullen.

*SIFY*

Our maid, Ms. Cope woke me much earlier than I would have liked the next morning. I sat at the table as I waited for breakfast with just my mother for company. Phil had left early to play golf with some of the other men at the country club. Weather permitting it was his usual routine on a Saturday. Soon, my mother would disappear to the local salon and I would be left to my own devices. I loved that one day where I was free to do as I pleased. It was the one day in the week I could escape from the monotonous regime that had become my life.

I felt my mother's eyes on me as I drank my juice, but I tried not to meet her stare. I knew she would begin questioning me about last night—about Edward Cullen more specifically. My mother was all about a good family, respect and status and the Cullen's apparently had all of the requirements to slide effortlessly into the clique of upper class snobs who spent most of their time at Lakeside Country Club.

To my relief, she at least let me eat my breakfast before she asked her first question. "Edward seemed like a very nice boy." She watched me studiously and then smiled as I blushed. "Do tell me about him, Isabella."

"Edward was a gentleman," I said, trying to be as aloof as possible. "He walked me home and we talked about all sorts of things. He was very nice."

"He called on Phil this morning," she said and I whipped my head up to look at her.

"Why?" I asked quickly and she laughed.

"He wanted to ask for permission to see you again today."

My heart was beating frantically in my chest and my hands were starting to shake so I clasped them together in my lap. "He did? What did Phil say?"

"He thought it best to have the boy over for dinner tonight with his parents so he could talk to them and make sure his intentions are as honourable as he would have us believe."

I smiled so wide my cheeks hurt. "He's coming for dinner?"

Mother nodded and then stood up. "We eat at seven sharp. I'm off to the salon now, Isabella, but I'll be back later to help you with your hair. We need to make a good impression on that young man after all."

I nodded eagerly, usually the idea of having my hair fussed with bored me to tears, but I wanted to look nice for Edward. I helped Ms. Cope clear the table despite her insistence to leave it to her, and then danced upstairs.

I looked through my clothes and saw a white cotton dress, which had a high button up neck, short sleeves and a floaty skirt which fell below my knee. It was perhaps better suited to dancing, but I always liked wearing it. I scrutinised it to make sure there were no blemishes or creases and then hung it on the back of the door.

I tried to push all thoughts of dinner and Edward Cullen from my mind in order to salvage some degree of sanity. There was no way I could spend another eleven hours thinking about him. I tried to read a book but the lines blurred into one and I simply couldn't concentrate.

I slammed the book closed and set it down on the nightstand. I gazed out of the window and scowled. The sky was heavy with cloud and I expected we'd have rain before the end of the day. I decided to make the most of the dry while I could and scurried downstairs.

"I'm just going for a walk on the beach, Ms. Cope," I called out. "I won't be very long."

"Miss. Isabella it looks like rain. At least take your bonnet, you know how your mother hates your hair when it gets wet." Ms. Cope fussed around me as I walked to the door. "You don't want to catch a cold if you get caught in the rain."

"A little rain never hurt anybody," I said happily. "And the last time I checked I wasn't a porcelain doll, I'll be perfectly fine, but thank you for worrying about me." I put my arms around her neck and kissed her cheek.

She chuckled. "You are one of a kind, Miss. Isabella. How you turned out that way given the lifestyle you lead I can't fathom."

"I'm just me," I argued and opened the door. "If mother comes home early you can pretend I didn't tell you where I was going. I don't want her to chastise you if I come home with horrible hair and a cold."

I heard Ms. Cope call me stubborn as I closed the door, but I just laughed. The sweet old woman had worked for our family since I was small. She had tended to me more as a child than my own mother and I loved her to death.

It was just a short walk from our house to Elder Lane Beach, which, given the early hour and cool temperature was deserted. I removed my shoes and walked barefoot in the cold waves, singing to myself, a song I'd told Edward I loved just last night.

_To you my heart cries out, Perfidia,__  
__For I found you, the love of my life, in somebody else's arms__  
__Your eyes are echoing perfidia,_

The longer I walked the more I forgot myself and began twirling and dancing as I waded through the surf, my voice grew louder and I found that for the first time in longer than I could remember I didn't have an overwhelming sense of boredom hanging over me. Even the dull, grey clouds and cool temperature did nothing to dampen my spirits.

Even my mother seemed different this morning, perhaps the fact I was finally showing interest in a boy she deemed suitable gave her less inclination to find other potential suitors to force upon me and she could enjoy her time with the other gossips at the salon. She would no doubt, have taken great pleasure in revealing that her precious daughter had attracted the attention of Edward Cullen and the attention that would provide her would probably be the highlight of her weekend.

As I continued to sing and dance a cool chill ran through my body and the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck stood on end. I suddenly had a feeling that I was being watched and I stopped abruptly. I turned around and looked for a sign of anyone else in the vicinity but I was still alone save for a man far in the distance walking his dog. I was just about to continue on my way when I heard my name being called.

"Isabella!"

A figure emerging from the trees away from the shoreline caught my eye and I groaned to myself. It was Mike Newton, one of the aforementioned suitors I'd been subjected to on more than one occasion.

"Isabella! What are you doing?" Mike asked breathlessly as he ran to join me. "Do your parents know you're here alone?"

I rolled my eyes, allowing my more petulant side to come to the surface now there were no scrutinizing parents around. "I enjoy walking on the beach, Mike," I told him. "I'm perfectly safe."

"May I walk with you?" he asked hopefully.

"I don't need a chaperone to take a walk," I answered and tried to walk away.

"Wait, Isabella, I think your father would prefer if I stayed with you." Mike grabbed my arm and tried to pull me back.

"I don't need your supervision," I insisted and shook my arm free. "I'd prefer to be left alone."

I gave Mike one final glare and he nodded. "Will you be at the club later?"

"Not tonight," I replied happily. "My parents have invited the Cullen's over for dinner tonight."

I thought I heard Mike mutter something as I started to walk away, but whatever it was I couldn't make it out so I assumed he hadn't intended for me to hear. I smiled to myself, thinking once again about Edward.

I checked to make sure Mike wasn't following me and then resumed my pattern of dancing and twirling as I walked. A loud crack from behind the trees made me jump and I watched as a flock of birds scattered into the sky above. Something had obviously spooked them, and I wandered closer to have a look.

A part of me told me to be scared, yet another part of me urged me closer feeling a pull towards the trees. I paused at the edge of the beach, hesitant to take that one step which would take me out of sight from anyone on the beach.

"Hello?" I called out, and listened. The only sound was the cracking of the twigs and undergrowth below my feet. "Is anybody there?"

"Bella, exploring the woods alone is really not a good idea," Edward Cullen whispered in my ear.

I almost jumped out my skin at the sound of hisvoice. I hadn't heard him approach, and how he managed to get behind me I had no idea—there hadn't been anyone around. However, by the time I'd turned around to face him I was smiling and that smile only grew when I saw his expression matched my own. His hair was sticking out all over the place; almost as though he had been running his hands through it over and over, and he wore a white shirt and linen pants. If my mother could see him, she'd most definitely turn up her nose at the state of his hair but I had every confidence the fact his clothing was obviously expensive would help her to forget about his hair…which I happened to quite like.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"I should be asking you the same question," he said. "That Newton boy was right when he said you shouldn't be out here alone."

"How did you hear what Mike said?" I asked, but he just shrugged.

"I told you, Bella, I have no problem _hearing_ others—you're the only one who continues to remain a mystery to me."

"You're just as cryptic, Edward," I grumbled. "Sometimes I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I know, and believe me when I say that's a good thing." Edward chuckled. "If you insist on walking alone I was hoping I could walk with you?"

"I'd like that," I said quickly. "But why are you hiding here amongst the trees?"

"I saw you leave your house alone and come over to the beach…I wanted to make sure you were safe. I hope you don't mind? You didn't seem too agreeable to other people following you."

"I don't consider you as _other people_," I said with a smile. "Do we have to battle our way through the trees or can we walk along the beach?"

"The rain won't come just yet." I saw Edward glance up to the sky quickly and then he held out his arm to me. "The beach sounds nice to me."

After a relatively nervous few minutes, we soon fell back into the easy conversation that we'd shared the previous night. I tried to ask Edward questions about him, but he was far too interested in me for some peculiar reason.

Hours passed and we continued to walk back and forth and as much as I would have liked to stay there for the rest of the night, I didn't want to miss dinner. Edward tried to insist on walking me home, but I didn't want any of our neighbour s to see us together again and tell my parents just in case they thought Edward was acting out of turn. I said goodbye to him at the end of the road and skipped the rest of the way, making it back just as the rain began to fall.

"Isabella? Where on earth have you been?" my mother shouted as I walked into the house. "You've been out all day and obviously didn't think it was a good idea to inform Ms. Cope where you were going?"

"I went for a walk on the beach, Mother," I told her. "You know I hate to stay stuck inside and I didn't realise I had to account for every second of my whereabouts."

"Enough with the petulance, Isabella. Goodness, look at your hair," she said in disgust. "You really should have worn a bonnet, Isabella."

I turned my nose up. "I hate the bonnets, Mother."

"Well, because of your stubbornness, you'll have to wash it again. You can't possibly attend dinner like that," my mother responded. "And what if you happened to see Edward with hair like this?" She tugged at my hair and looked at me critically.

I held back a giggle. "Edward's a gentleman and we have much more in common than how my hair looked in damp weather," I said haughtily. "Now, I'm going to wash."

"This attitude will not impress the Cullen's, Isabella, you should be mindful of how easily people form impressions. You need to prove that you are as polite and well-mannered as their son." She waved me away before I could answer her.

**SIFY**

"Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, it's a pleasure to have you here tonight," my mother purred as our guests were invited into the house. "Your son was an absolute gentleman last night."

I watched as Edward's parents followed my mother into the lounge and my stomach flipped as my eyes landed on Edward. He looked just as handsome as he did today at the beach, but his hair was slightly less wild and his casual shirt and pants had been replaced with a formal three piece suit.

"Good evening, Isabella," Dr. Carlisle Cullen said, smiling warmly. "I've heard a lot of wonderful things about you from my son."

I blushed and Esme Cullen reached out to me. "I see why he is so taken with you, Sweetheart. It's so exciting to be here with you tonight."

I saw my parents looking on in shock at Mrs. Cullen's very forward behaviour. I didn't mind, but it wasn't the usual way people greeted each other around here.

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen, Mrs. Cullen," I said, finding it difficult to keep my eyes from lingering on their son.

"Please call me Carlisle and my wife, Esme. We like to keep things less formal among friends."

"Okay," I said, and looked over his shoulder to a grinning Edward. "Hello, Edward."

"Isabella, you look very pretty tonight." He stepped closer and took my hand in his, bringing it to his mouth and placing a quick kiss on the back of my hand.

For the briefest of seconds his hold tightened and I saw his entire body stiffen which frightened me for a reason I couldn't even begin to explain. I glanced around nervously but my parents didn't appear to have notices his odd behaviour. I pulled my hand away and his eyes flashed to my face. They were full of regret and I saw him shake his head infinitesimally before walking away.

"So where are the other children tonight, Carlisle?" Phil asked as we took a seat at the dining table.

"They are performing at a club in Chicago," Carlisle said. "They formed the band as a way to keep them stimulated at the weekends. Emmett is studying engineering at college so he has a hectic schedule during the week. "

"You seem very young to have children attending college."

I cringed at Phil's directness. I knew it was something the entire town was curious about, but like everything else surrounding the Cullen's their family was a mystery.

"Yes, I suppose we are," Carlisle answered. "Esme and I adopted Alice, Emmett, and Edward when they were young. Their parents—relatives of Esme—were tragically killed in an automobile accident and we didn't want them to become separated."

"Oh dear, that's terrible," my mother said sadly. "It was a very admirable thing to take on all three."

Esme reached over and squeezed Edward's hand. "They've been no trouble. I can't imagine life without them now."

"How old are you, boy?" Phil barked to Edward.

"I'm seventeen," Edward answered. "Alice is eighteen and Emmett is nineteen."

"You read my mind there, Edward," Phil chuckled. "I was just going to ask about your brother and sister."

I saw Esme shoot Edward a warning look but he ignored her. Unaware what she was unhappy about, I tried to steer the conversation back to Edward. "You played the piano so beautifully last night, Edward."

"Mind your manners, Isabella, I was talking to the Cullen's."

"Yes, Sir, God forbid the women speak out of turn" I muttered under my breath, there was no way anyone could have heard me, yet I saw all three Cullen's smirk for a second.

There really was something mysterious about this family and I desperately wanted to learn more about them.

Phil kept inundating our guests with questions, but they didn't appear to mind. They remained polite and charming all night. The cousin who usually played piano was called Rosalie, and her twin brother, Jasper was the other boy playing in the band last night.

The Cullen's had moved from a small village in Washington State to Winnetka, in order to stay closer to their children when they began college. Edward was due to start an accelerated program in the fall which would hopefully see him accepted into medical school so he could follow in his father's footsteps.

The mere mention of Edward becoming a doctor had my mother almost bursting with excitement. I knew now there was no way Mike Newton would ever be forced upon me again, even if I hadn't been completely enamoured with Edward there was no way Renee Dwyer was prepared to let her daughter pass the opportunity to date a boy from a very successful and wealthy family.

There were one or two occasions when I saw both Edward's parents look at him expectantly, he would give them the slightest shake or nod of his head and they would look away without a word. It was almost as though there was an unspoken conversation going on.

I remained silent throughout dinner, whenever I tried to start talking, Phil would silence me, and proceed with his incessant questioning. Still, the hours passed by quickly and it was to my utmost regret that a little after eleven the Cullen's made their move to leave.

"Once again, it has been a pleasure," Edward said earnestly to my parents and me. "May I call on Isabella tomorrow, Mr. Dwyer? I was hoping to take her for a walk on the beach."

"Of course, Edward. Isabella, loves the beach," my mother began to say, but Phil stopped her.

"You're welcome to visit, Edward, but you can stay here with Isabella. Ms. Cope can prepare sandwiches and iced tea for the two of you."

"Of course, that sounds just perfect." Edward smiled and reached out to shake his hand. "I'll see you tomorrow, Isabella."

"That sounds lovely," I said, my voice shrill with excitement. "Goodnight, Edward."

I went to bed eagerly waiting for the morning to arrive, and for the second night in a row, I dreamt of Edward Cullen.

* * *

**A/N Thanks for reading – I hope you liked it! The amazing Evilnat made a banner for this fic—I'll post the link on my profile and in the facebook group MrsK81 Fic if you want to come and have a look!**

**TTFN**

**Katy**

**xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**I own nothing of course! Thanks to Kitty & Prettyflour for prereading.**

**Chapter 3**

If at all possible I became more and more infatuated with Edward Cullen every second I spent in his company. Just as he said he would, the following day he arrived at my house with a beautiful bouquet of blue freesias.

"Thank you, Edward," I said shyly, taking them from him.

"You're welcome, Bella. They remind me of you," he said, stepping slightly closer.

"They do?" I asked. "Why?"

He laughed, though I had no idea why, and said, "I think it's best if I explain that to you later. Much, much later, perhaps."

"That doesn't seem fair," I muttered. "I'd very much like to know now. I want to know everything about you."

"The feeling is mutual, Bella." I watched him glance carefully over my shoulder and then he brushed a strand of hair from my face, making my heart thump loudly in my chest. "But there are some things about me that you _really_ shouldn't _want_ to know. Trust me."

"You do that a lot." I scowled. "Say things I suspect have a hidden meaning that I can't even begin to understand, but then you won't elaborate and you expect me to be okay with that. It's very frustrating."

"I'm sorry, Bella. Truly I am." He gave me an apologetic smile. "It's staggering how observant you are. You notice every unspoken word, every knowing smile of mine, yet I find it unimaginably difficult to read your expressions and reactions. That's never happened to me before."

Before I could ask him to explain that, Edward took a step away and straightened his posture. I wondered if what I'd said had upset him more than he would admit to, but then I heard footsteps approaching and Phil's voice call out. It startled me, but Edward almost seemed prepared, like he knew someone was about to interrupt us. But how?

"Edward," Phil said.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Dwyer." Edward smiled politely.

"Isabella, are you going to invite the boy inside, or do you intend to stand here all day?"

"I was just thanking him for these flowers," I said, showing him the freesias. "Aren't they pretty?"

"They look like the ones Mrs. Gerandy tends to in her garden. You better not have stolen those, boy," he boomed.

"Of course not, Sir," Edward replied sincerely.

"Mm," Phil said, seemingly unconvinced.

The rest of the day didn't go exactly as I'd hoped. Ms. Cope served us iced tea on the porch, but Edward and I weren't granted more than ten minutes alone before Phil found an excuse to interrupt us. There had been a perceptible shift in his attitude towards Edward since the night he asked me to dance.

Hard to imagine it was just two days ago, but from being more than happy to have Edward walk me home and inviting the family to dinner, he was now almost suspicious of the boy who had me so captivated.

I could tell my mother was confused by his behaviour, on more than one occasion she tried to insist Phil give us some time to talk alone, but he paid her no attention. After only two hours in his company, Edward said he needed to return home.

"Must you leave?" I asked sadly. "I want you to stay."

"I think it's for the best," Edward said. "I would love to spend more time with you, but let's not push your father."

"When can I see you again?" I asked. "Tomorrow perhaps?"

Edward shook his head apologetically. "I'll be out of town with my family for several days. We likely won't be back until the weekend. Maybe I could call on you then? With your father's permission of course."

I wanted to tell him that my _actual_ father had died before I was even born and although Phil was my step-father, I would ultimately make my own decisions surrounding _my _life, so Edward needn't worry about gaining his approval. However, now hardly seemed the most ideal time to reveal a secret most were not privy to, so I stuck to a more polite response and said, "I'd like that very much, Edward."

He took a deep breath through his nose and again I thought I saw his entire body stiffen. I had no idea why, but it happened quite often and it was yet another mystery about this boy that I was so anxious to figure out.

I started to turn back to the house, but I felt Edward's cool hand touch my arm and I whirled back to face him.

"Goodbye, Bella," he all but whispered, and in an action that was almost _too_ fast, he leaned close and pressed his lips once to my cheek. He was a foot away from me before I even had chance to comprehend what had just happened, but I could feel the almost icy cold sensation on my cheek and knew I hadn't imagined it. "Please be careful while I'm away."

I nodded once, speechless and confused with the feelings that were coursing through my body. It never ceased to amaze me what reactions Edward managed to elicit from me. Excitement, adoration, fear, lust…love?

I sat down on the porch swing, replaying the most innocent of kisses that had been the most sensual experience of my life. It was almost dark when I finally returned inside the house and immediately I could hear the raised voices of my parents echoing from the kitchen.

"You're being absurd, darling," my mother said. "How can you not approve of Edward Cullen? He's handsome, intelligent, a perfect gentleman, and his family are successful, well-mannered and completely charming. I don't understand where this sudden change of opinion has come from."

"I don't like it, Renee. I admit I found them interesting and quite likeable at first, but there is something not right about the entire family. I asked some questions over golf yesterday and did you know Dr. Cullen had his own family practice in Washington State? Then, without even a day's notice they upped and left, appearing right here in Winnetka just a few days later. I'm telling you, Renee, until I know what they are really about I don't like that boy sniffing around my daughter."

"_Your_ daughter?" Mother said with a sarcastic laugh. "You only seem to want to call her that when the right people are watching, Phil."

"Don't start, Renee," he responded. "You're the one who insisted she understand exactly who her father was and how fortunate she is to be living this lifestyle after the start she _almost_ had. Well, as long as she's living with us it is my decision to make."

I sighed; knowing with Phil's tone there would be no room for negotiation. I would not be _permitted_ to date Edward and that pained me. I saw Ms. Cope watching me from the top of the stairs, smiling sadly at me.

"Come on upstairs, Miss. Isabella. Let your mother try and talk some sense into him." She beckoned me to her and I trudged up the stairs.

I heard my mother start protesting, but I knew it was pointless. Even my mother at her most persuasive wouldn't be able to talk him around. Part of me believed his suspicions were the motivating factor, but another part of me put it down to jealousy. Phil Dwyer was the "man of the moment" here in Winnetka. He loved having people trying to befriend him, he loved that we lived in the biggest house, drove the newest model of car when some others couldn't even afford one at all, and most of all he loved that we were considered the poster family for the town. If you were in with the Dwyer's then you'd made it in Winnetka.

But, the Cullen's were a threat to that. Dr. Cullen was handsome, equally wealthy, and his wife beautiful and so charming that it was impossible not to be intrigued by them. The entire town was already intrigued by them. They also happened to have the most beautiful son that had ever stepped foot in Winnetka. I suspected Phil feared for his social standing more than he did my welfare, but that was not for me to say to his face.

"Mother won't succeed," I said glumly.

"Look at your sad face," Ms. Cope put her arm around my shoulder and sat beside me on my bed. "That will never do. We can't have Master Cullen seeing you like this."

"_Edward_ is going out of town until next weekend," I told her. "Besides, I doubt Phil will be letting him see me again at all after today."

Ms. Cope chuckled. "Miss. Isabella., one thing I know about you is that you never listen to a word your father says. You are the most defiant sixteen year old girl I know. I suspect if Master Edward wants to see you again, which I am most certain he will, then you will find a way to make it happen. Not that I'm condoning deceitful behaviour of course."

Would I find a way? Yes, I agreed with Ms. Cope, I'd become far too enamoured with Edward to let Phil put an end to whatever relationship had started to form between us.

I was still sitting on the bed with Ms. Cope when Phil knocked on my door and walked straight inside. "Ms. Cope, would you leave us please?"

"Of course, Sir. I was about to make a start on dinner."

"No need, we'll eat at the club. Take the evening off, you had a busy night yesterday." Phil closed the door behind her and then said, "Isabella, you're not to see that boy again."

"Why?" I asked. "He's been nothing but a gentleman."

"If I say you stay away from Edward Cullen then you stay away," he said, his voice a little sterner.

"I'm almost seventeen years old, I think I can made decisions for myself," I said haughtily, but it only infuriated Phil and I flinched as he slammed his hand down onto my dresser.

"Isabella, I am your father and as long as you live in my house you will do as I say," he shouted. "I am not asking you, I am telling you. There is to be no more contact with him, do you understand?"

I may have been defiant, stubborn and desperately trying to find my independence, but even I knew when to keep quiet. Phil's temper was fierce and I didn't want my bedroom furniture becoming damaged because I'd pushed him too far. I nodded my head, keeping my expression hard.

"Get changed, we're spending the evening at the club." He slammed the door behind him.

"You're not my father, so you don't get to say who I can and can't see," I muttered under my breath as soon as I heard him march down the stairs. "And I _will_ be seeing Edward again."

**SIFY**

"I'd rather not," I said with forced politeness after Mike Newton asked me to dance for the fifth time.

"Isabella, don't be rude and dance with the boy," Phil said. "Go on with you."

"I don't feel like-" I began to say but Phil glared at me.

"I wasn't asking you," he said and my mother nodded. "Now mind your manners and dance with him."

It had been like this all evening. Both my parents seemed to be on a mission to force another boy onto me, in the hope I'd forget all about Edward. It wasn't going to happen, Edward Cullen was simply unforgettable.

After dancing with Mike, I didn't re-join my parents; I sat instead with Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory at another table. Just like me, their parents were part of the clique in the club and we were forced to endure this place more often than we would have liked.

Jessica was always happy, annoyingly so on occasion, and although not the smartest girl in town, she had a heart of gold. Lauren, on the other hand, was a handful to say the least. She was forever defying her parents and always trying to lead us astray. We'd been in trouble so many times thanks to her "schemes" which had involved sneaking liqueur into the club, sneaking out in the middle of the night to mingle with older boys at a bonfire on the beach. Usually our plans were thwarted before we had chance to follow them through, but she persisted nonetheless.

"So, the word is you and Edward Cullen have been courting?" Lauren asked. "Last night it was the talk of the club, Isabella. I think my mother was almost green with envy because it wasn't me he'd asked to dance."

"Tell us all about it," Jessica gushed. "What happened when he walked you home? What happened at dinner last night?"

"He's wonderful. We talked for a long time, and then I saw him at the beach the next morning. I could listen to him speak all day long. It was the same at dinner, he was charming and so polite, yet he had a mischievous look in his eye when he talked to me." I smiled dreamily and let out a long breath. "I was looking forward to dancing with him again, but today Phil told me I couldn't see him anymore."

"Why?" Lauren asked.

"He told my mother he's suspicious of the family, but I think it's just because he hates the attention they're getting." I shrugged. "It doesn't matter. I won't stop seeing him, I'll find a way somehow."

"That's so romantic," Jessica said and I frowned. "A forbidden romance…with a handsome boy."

"How can she pull off a forbidden romance in this town?" Lauren scoffed. "Especially with Edward Cullen?"

"Where is he tonight?" Jessica asked, ignoring Lauren.

"Visiting family," I said. "They won't be back until next weekend."

"Speaking of next weekend," Lauren said quietly and then grinned. "I have something planned for Friday for the three of us."

Jessica's eyes widened and she asked, "What?"

"Well," Lauren whispered, "What if I said there was a new Jazz bar opening in Chicago called _Jazziz _and I have four tickets to their first night?"

"I'd say, first of all, how the hell are we going to get to Chicago? None of us can drive a car. Then, second of all, and probably the most important factor, do you really think we could persuade our parents to let us go somewhere like that unsupervised?" I asked and shook my head. "I doubt that's ever going to happen."

"Who said we were going to ask their permission?" Lauren winked. "The fourth ticket is for Mike Newton who has agreed to drive us there and back in his father's car. We just need to think of an acceptable reason to be away from the club on Friday night."

"Are you sure we should? Imagine the trouble we'll be in if we get caught." Jessica looked unconvinced.

"This town is so boring, Jessica," Lauren exclaimed. "Aside from the Cullen's, nothing ever happens here. I don't want to spend the rest of my life here at Lakeside. I want to see other places."

"But maybe when we're eighteen," Jessica protested. "We can do what we like then, we'll be adults."

"If our parents have anything to do with it, Jessica, we'll be married to respectable Winnetka boys living the life _they've_ always expected of us. No thank you." Lauren was right. If we sat around here for much longer, life was going to forever be dull and boring.

"We'll be in so much trouble," Jessica said again.

"What are they going to do, confine us to the house? Please, I'd be delighted if they did. I don't think I can bear the thought of _another_ night in here. It's dreary and dull." I rolled my eyes and added, "We should pretend to be sick and then when they leave us at home, we can just have Mike collect us. If they do check on us later in the evening and catch us, the worst they can do is keep us inside the house for a week or two. I'm fed up of trying to lie to them, and we always get caught out anyway."

Lauren nodded enthusiastically and eventually Jessica relented, so we called over Mike who like a faithful retriever agreed to go along with whatever we thought best. We were summoned back to join our parents before the end of the night and unable to talk about our night in Chicago, I began to daydream about Edward once again and he consumed my thoughts for almost the entire week.

**SIFY**

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay home with you, Isabella?" my mother asked.

"No, I just need to rest," I said weakly. "You go and enjoy yourself. I can call Ms. Cope if I need anything. Don't worry about me, mother."

"Renee?" Phil barked. "We're going to be late. Let the girl sleep."

My mother agreed reluctantly and as soon as I heard the front door close I crept to my closet and started to change. I pulled on a red and white Polk-a-dot dress which flared at the bottom…perfect for dancing. I had about fifteen minutes to finish before Mike would be arriving with Lauren and Jessica, and my hair was proving difficult to manage. I was so focused on it I didn't hear Ms. Cope enter the room, and only the sound of her clearing her throat alerted me to her presence.

"And what exactly are you doing, Miss?" she asked, folding her arms across her chest. "Mrs. Dwyer was of the impression you were sick."

"Um…" I looked down nervously and I heard her laugh.

"Isabella, you are a terrible liar. I knew you had something up your sleeve when you told your mother you weren't well enough to go to the club. Tell me the truth and perhaps I can help you."

"Lauren has tickets for a jazz club in the city. Jessica is coming too, and Mike Newton is driving us in his father's car." I looked at her nervously waiting for her response.

She smiled and moved to stand behind me, watching me in the mirror. "Oh, to be young again," she said. "Well, we can't have you going with hair like this, now can we? May I?"

I nodded and she began fixing my hair. It was nothing like my mother insisted I wear it, instead Ms. Cope made me feel like a glamorous movie star. She curled the front and bottom, pinning it away from my face, but letting it hang softly at the back.

"Such a pretty thing," she said, and applied a little rouge and lipstick to my face. "All done."

"Thank you," I said. "I won't tell mother that you knew. If she finds out, I promise I won't get you into any trouble."

"Enjoy yourself, Isabella, and don't worry about me. I've been around long enough to have a few tricks up my sleeve." She smiled and ushered me from the room. "You won't have much time, because as soon as your parents notice the absence of three friends and Mr. Newton's boy they are going to know they've been tricked."

I kissed her on the cheek and scurried downstairs. Mike was already outside with an eager looking Lauren and Jessica. I skipped to the car and shuffled in beside Jessica in the back.

"This is so exciting," Lauren squealed, producing a flask and handing it to me. "Have a drink, Isabella, we're already going to be in big trouble so having a real drink can't hurt."

I looked at the flask and then giggled. "If we're already going to hell, then we might as well enjoy it, right?"

**SIFY**

The club was nothing like I expected. I suppose we'd all led very sheltered lives in the grand scheme of things. Lakeside Country Club was a world away from the new club called _Jazziz_ and I loved it. The smoke in the room was so thick you could barely see, the music was so loud it was almost deafening but there was absolutely no comparison to the dull transparency of the country club to the vibrant, exciting atmosphere here in Chicago.

The people weren't clones of one another, talking about money, money, money and more money. They laughed, they danced, and they chatted to others without casting judgement because of the clothes you wore or the house you lived in. It provided a haven of anonymity that I loved. I didn't have to be Isabella Dwyer, privileged daughter of Phil and Renee Dwyer, I could be whoever I wanted to be and no one cared.

We danced, we drank, we smoked, and we had more fun than I could remember in such a long time. It wasn't the same exhilarating thrill that I felt whenever I was in Edward's company, but it was certainly something I could get used to.

I barely gave the time a second thought, and neither did the other girls. Only Mike seemed concerned with the late hour, but Lauren surprised us all by dragging him to a dark corner of the club and dancing with him more provocatively than I'd ever seen. It was safe to assume he stopped caring about the time after that.

Just after midnight, the alcohol and smoke started to leave me nauseous, so leaving Jessica singing at the bar, I stepped outside for some fresh air. The coolness of the night was refreshing but I also needed to escape the music and take a moment of peace and quiet. So, I walked to the side of the building, down a side street and leaned against the wall, closing my eyes. I remained there for a few minutes enjoying the time alone.

Unfortunately, I wasn't as _alone_ as I thought.

"Well, hello there, pretty girl. What are you doing out here all by yourself?"

A man's voice startled me and I opened my eyes to see three strange men standing in front of me. They looked older…much older than I was, and they also had a scary intensity to their expressions. One man in particular, had eyes darker than any others I'd seen and it filled me with fear straight away. Instinct told me to run, but they were standing side by side, blocking my path back to the front of the club. I froze to the spot and felt my hands start to shake.

"My friends will be joining me soon," I said, trying to sound assertive. "They were just getting their coats."

"I don't think so." The man with the dark eyes, slicked back hair and a moustache, stepped closer to me and shook his head. "See, I've been watching you for a long time, and your friends are still having a whale of a time inside."

"Then I should go back to them," I said, making a move to his left, but he side stepped, again blocking my path.

"Stay, let's have some fun," he slurred, and the fear intensified.

"No thank you." I took a step back, wondering what was going to happen. The look in his eye terrified me.

"Come on, sugar, don't be like that," he said, moving closer, cornering me against the wall. "I can play nice."

"No. Please let me by," I said, trying to be forceful but my voice was shaking. "Please."

"I don't think I want to let you go," he said and reached for my arm.

Just as his fingers closed tightly around my wrist I heard a furious voice growl resonate in the dark street. It should probably have terrified me, yet it was a voice I'd come to crave and I felt the most overwhelming sense of relief wash over me.

"Let go of her."

* * *

**A/N Thanks for reading and for all your reviews :D**

**This will be it for this year…so I'll see you in 2013…unless the world ends in a few hours of course ;) **

**Happy holidays and all the best for the new year!**

**Katy **

**xxx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks to Prettyflour & Kitty for prereading, and to you guys for reading and reviewing. As always I own nada…except a LOT of medicines & cough syrup…two days into the New Year and already the kids are sick!**

**Chapter 4**

"Edward?" I whispered, trying to run towards him, but my path was still blocked. He looked as furious as he sounded and even in the darkness I could see a black to his eyes that was quite frightening.

"I said let go of her," he repeated, an almost animalistic growl to his voice.

"Mind your own business, boy," the man hissed, barely even glancing in Edward's direction. "We're okay here, right, Sugar?"

"I won't _ask_ you again." I heard a noise that was more like a snarl emanate from him and the men heard it too and began to try and diffuse the escalating situation.

"Okay we don't want any trouble. Come on. Let the girl have some room, Len, huh?" They tried to tug their friend away. "She's scared, we should leave."

_Len_ shrugged his friends hand away and turned around, glaring briefly at Edward before laughing. "And what exactly do you intend to do if I refuse?"

"This isn't our fight, Len, you're on your own." The others wanted no part any trouble that might arise, and made a quick escape from the alley, leaving Len alone to face Edward.

"You're nothing but a kid, so I'll tell you again to mind your own business. I've had my eye on this one all night." He stepped closer to me and smirked, reaching out to touch my face.

I squeezed my eyes shut and cringed away from his touch, as I cowered a simultaneous cry of agony and a horrific crunching sound shocked me and I felt compelled to look towards the noise. Impossibly, I saw Edward had moved from the other end of the alley in between me and my attacker, his hand closed tightly around the man's wrist. He was writhing on his knees, begging Edward to release him.

"Please, please…you broke my wrist…let me go…" he cried, tears rolling down his face.

"I would much prefer to crush every bone in your body," Edward seethed, his fingers tightening and I could hear that awful crunching noise again. "You're despicable, a monster who needs to be destroyed."

"Please, I'm sorry, I would never have hurt her," he continued to beg, but it seemed to have little effect on Edward.

"Edward," I whispered, and placed a hand on his arm. "Edward, stop."

He glanced back at me quickly, but kept his hold tight on the man.

"You don't need to do this, I'm fine now. I'm safe," I told him, desperate to calm him down. "I'd like to go home."

His expression softened, his eyes slowly losing some of the rage. "He deserves much worse," he said, his voice tight.

"Edward, let him go." An older, calmer voice echoed and I looked past Edward and saw another three silhouettes at the end of the alley. "Your brothers and I will take care of him."

Edward nodded and released the man's arm. He began to run away, but this time it was _his _path that became blocked. I recognised two of Edward's brothers from the club and his father, Dr. Cullen when they neared us. Realizing he had no means of escape, the man sank to his knees and started with the pitiful begging again.

I saw Edward nod his head once as his father approached, again it seemed like they were having some sort of silent conversation. "Are you okay, Isabella?" Dr. Cullen asked kindly. "You're not hurt?"

"I'm fine, thank you. Edward saved me," I said and smiled at Edward.

"Emmett, Jasper, you take care of that as soon as we're out of sight," Dr. Cullen said with a curt nod of his head to the pathetic figure on the ground. "Edward, you take the car and drive Isabella home. Make sure she has something to eat and drink, her parents don't need to see her like this."

"Wait," I started to argue, "What about my friends? They're still inside."

"I'll tell your friends you've already left and then escort them home myself. You could travel with us, of course, but something tells me you'd rather accompany my son?" Dr. Cullen smiled, and I blushed.

"Yes," I admitted, and I heard a distinct sigh from Edward.

"Let's go," Edward said softly, walking me out of the alley and towards a sleek, black car parked on the street across from the club.

Even though he didn't speak much at first, he kept his body close to mine, his hand on the small of my back guiding me. Despite the awful things that had almost happened, I could honestly say that in that moment I'd never felt safer.

Still without speaking, Edward opened the passenger side door and waited for me to get in, before walking around to his side and sliding in almost _too_ quickly. I watched him, and saw him steal a look at me, smiling when our eyes met.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked shyly.

"You are extraordinary, Bella," he murmured, reaching out and tracing his finger down my cheek. "You seem so composed and unaffected by what's just happened, it's impossible. What they were going to do…it makes it hard to sit here and not kill them. Are you sure you aren't hurt?"

"It all happened so quickly," I said. "I went outside for some air and they just appeared. As soon as it started to get frightening you saved me. They didn't hurt me, Edward, you stopped them."

His hands clenched on the steering wheel, and I gasped as small cracks appeared in the plastic. He'd broken that man's arm with a mere squeeze and now this…how could a teenage boy be so inhumanly strong?

"How did you know?" I asked. I had so many questions whirling through my mind but the most obvious one seemed the most puzzling. "How did you know where I would be? How did you know I was in danger?"

"We should really get you home," he said, his voice strained. "It's late, Bella."

"If you aren't going to answer my questions, Edward, then I'll go home with your father and my friends." My voice was stern, never had I taken such a tone with anybody else before. "You can't expect me to not be curious after all the things you've done."

"We need to get you something to eat first," he began to say and I immediately objected. As soon as I opened my mouth to speak he stopped me with a chuckle. "We can talk while you're eating, Bella. I know you feel fine, but sometimes the shock of experiences like that can affect people afterwards."

"So if I eat, you'll tell me," I clarified, and he nodded reluctantly. "Fine."

We managed to find a diner on the outskirts of the city still open, and Edward hurried me inside. He chose a booth in the far corner, away from the few other customers inside. The waitress appeared with coffee to which Edward refused.

"Two glasses of Green River please, ma'am," he said politely.

"Sure," she said, smiling at him in a way that made me extremely jealous.

"Are you still feeling well?" he asked for what felt like the hundredth time, and I nodded.

"Yes," I said. "Can we talk now?"

"So stubborn," he said with a laugh. "I see now why your step-father is so frustrated."

I began to laugh and then something occurred to me. "_Step_-father?" I said and for the second time in the short space of an hour I saw Edward lose his usually cool and composed exterior.

I was grateful that this time his reaction was much less severe…his expression, rather than furious as before, was now more perplexed. I saw a look of momentary confusion flitter across his face and then he looked down at the table, shaking his head.

"Another slip," he said in exasperation. "I should know better by now, you miss nothing, Bella. I also seem to forget how little I'm supposed to know about your upbringing, but for some reason you leave me so vulnerable to mistakes."

"I have no idea what you mean," I said quietly. "You should know by now that your cryptic words frustrate me."

He laughed again. "I do and believe me when I say I am sorry. It's entirely my fault for underestimating you, Bella. For a hu…for such a young girl you are quite the enigma."

"I think the same could be said for you, Edward," I reminded him. "Each time I think I have an answer to a question about you, a hundred more arise."

"I want to be honest with you," he said earnestly. "I feel something when I'm with you, Bella, something that makes me want to tell you every part of me, but I just can't."

"Not yet perhaps, but you can't keep me out forever." I reached across the table and rested my hands on his, feeling the coldness of his skin almost burn the tips of my fingers. It wasn't how other boys hands felt when we'd danced, but despite the scary unknown about the boy sitting opposite me, not a single part of me wanted to be anywhere else.

He looked down at our hands and sighed, moving his and placing them on his lap underneath the table. "You need to eat something."

"I'm really not hungry," I said.

"Please, Bella," he pleaded, and gazed at me intensely. I lost all coherency and nodded, which made Edward grin. "Mm, one of my traits that _does_ seem to work on you."

"I'm sorry?" I asked and he just laughed.

We were interrupted by the waitress with our drinks, she kept her eyes on Edward waiting for us to place our order so I cleared my throat. She looked across at me in shock and I kept my face hard.

"I would like the Vanilla Ice Cream Sundae," I told her, and she nodded, scribbling the order down in her pad.

"And for you, handsome," she said with a wink. "I can bring you anything you like."

"Nothing for me, thank you," Edward replied, turning his intense gaze onto her. "Except some privacy, perhaps?"

Her eyes widened as she nodded and walked away without another word. I shook my head and laughed once. "I wish you could dazzle my _step-father_ as easily."

"Dazzle?" he asked.

"You are far too charming, Edward Cullen," I said with a smile. "On everyone besides Phil Dwyer apparently."

Edward nodded sadly. "He won't let me see you again."

"How did you know?" I asked, puzzled. "Did you speak to him?"

He shook his head. "No, I did not speak to him, I didn't need to. It was quite apparent at your house on Sunday that he had changed his mind."

"He told me I wasn't to see you," I told him glumly.

"But here you are," he said, and I smiled.

"Here I am." I took a drink of my soda and then added, "I won't _let_ him stop me from spending time with you, nor will I let _you_ keep distracting me. I want to ask you some questions and you said if I ate something we could talk."

"Ask me the first question," he said with his lopsided smile. "Maybe this is the way to convince you I really am not good for you, Bella."

"I doubt that," I said and then began asking straight away. "Why are you here? I thought you were visiting family?"

"I was," he said and paused, moving his hands from his lap and reaching for mine. I watched as his fingertips lightly brushed the length of my fingers, and closed my eyes, relishing the feel of his touch. "But being away from you…I can't explain how it made me feel, Bella. I had to see you, so I came home three days ago, my family stayed in Alaska."

"Why didn't you come and see me?" I asked. "I missed you."

"And what would the reaction have been if I turned up unannounced?" he said wryly. "When I heard you were sick and staying at home while your parents went to the club, I planned on visiting and then I realized what you real plan for the evening was."

"You heard I was sick, how?" I asked, thinking of his earlier comment about my step-father. "Is it the same way you knew about Phil not being my real father?"

He nodded once, further confusing me when he didn't elaborate, choosing instead to ask about my relationship with Phil. "I was surprised to discover you knew about it, Bella. Besides your maid, no one out of the immediate family has any idea who your real father is, do they?"

I shook my head. "Phil wanted me to know what my life could have been if he hadn't stepped in and saved my mother and I. I assume he knew my mother would end up telling me eventually, Charles Swan was her first love…I know it still hurts her that he's gone, even though she won't admit to it."

"I lost my parents too," he said softly, closing his fingers around mine. "A long time ago, but I'm thankful I at least have memories of them."

"She was still pregnant with me when he died so I have no real memories of him, but my mother gave me a photograph of him, and she has some old letters that he wrote to her when they were first courting. He wasn't like Phil at all…in every way possible. The letters he wrote…it was plain to see that he was romantic and adored my mother, but unlike Phil, he was very much a bad boy. All his life he had been involved in a lot of dangerous and illegal things, and the last one got him killed. With Phil, my mother got security I suppose, someone to look after the both of us. I remind her of him in a lot of ways, apparently more so as I get older." I smiled. I knew I looked like him; the colour of my hair and eyes were the same as his, and then the rebellious side to my personality was most certainly a Swan-family trait. "I shouldn't complain, Phil may be strict, but he's always been good to me. Until now."

"Like you said, Bella, he is just looking out for you. Phil Dwyer has every reason to be concerned about me, I'm very dangerous." He smiled and pushed his drink towards me. "Drink this, too."

"What about you? You haven't ordered anything to eat," I asked, ignoring his comment about being dangerous. Having witnessed the scene in the alleyway it was apparent had some demons, I just had no idea what they were.

"I've already eaten," he said light heartedly.

I narrowed my eyes, certain I was missing another private joke, but I ignored it for the time being and decided to resume my questioning. I took a sip on my drink and asked, "So, you came back to Winnetka and knew I was coming to Chicago with my friends, but _how _did you know I was in trouble or even where we would be?"

Edward didn't speak, and I was about to challenge him when the waitress reappeared with my sundae. She asked him once again if he needed anything and he simply shook his head, this time keeping his eyes on me and she left us alone.

"I wanted to make sure you were safe, Bella. The city is a dangerous place and I couldn't bear anything to happen to you. You may be older than your years in some ways, but Winnetka and Chicago are two different places entirely and there are some terrible people who wouldn't think twice about taking advantage of someone like you. I was keeping a close eye on you in the club through your friends, but then you were gone. I was just about to come into the club looking for you when I heard what he was thinking." He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths through his nose. "I worried I might be too late…and if he'd hurt you, I swear I would have destroyed him right there in the alley."

"You _heard_ what he was thinking? You can do that…is it like reading people's minds?"

"A quirk of mine, usually it's an annoyance, but sometimes it proves a useful tool to have." He watched me, waiting for my reaction. If any other person had admitted to that I would have been highly sceptical and brushed it off as a lie, but I believed Edward with my whole heart.

"How? I mean, how does it work?" I asked, full of intrigue.

"It's difficult to explain," he said and thought about it briefly before continuing, "I suppose it's quite like being in a large crowd of people all talking amongst themselves. You could drown in the senseless chatter, but if you focus, if you choose one person to listen to, then you can easily pick out one individual voice. Although over the years I have become pretty adept at tuning it all out if I need the quiet."

"Oh my," I breathed, leaning forward. "That's remarkable. So you can _hear_ everybody?"

"With one exception," he said with a rueful smile. "One bewildering and utterly fascinating exception. Never in my life have I wanted to hear someone as badly as I do you, Bella, but I can't…not a single word."

"At all?"

"The first time I saw you in the club you were sitting with your parents, you almost took my breath away you were so beautiful. I watched as we played, but you were utterly oblivious to what was going on around you, Bella, it was like you were lost inside your own mind and it fascinated me. I tried to focus purely on your voice—your thoughts, but there was just silence. When you started dancing with the Newton boy I was irrationally jealous. I had no right to be, but it was almost uncontrollable, the jealousy was so intense it was like nothing I'd ever experienced. I caught you looking at me and it stirred something deep inside me. For a fleeting second I thought I saw a difference in the way you looked at me, and I began to wonder if you felt it too. I can't explain how frustrating it was, wanting to know what you were _really_ thinking but getting absolutely nothing. Of course, it's been like that ever since." He was leaning forward now, only inches separating our faces. "I had to rely on others to try and gauge your thoughts about me. I watched as you danced with the other boy so reluctantly and dared to hope you would say yes to me. I was more than delighted when you did."

"I want to ask you so many questions about this, but they can wait if that's okay? There are others that I need to ask first." I saw him nod once and then asked, "If you left your family in Alaska, how did they know what would happen…where you'd be? Can they read minds too?"

He shook his head. "That would be the work of my sister, Alice," he said. "She has her own unique…gift, I suppose you could call it. If you don't mind, I would prefer to explain that one later? It isn't really my story to tell, Bella."

I nodded. "You broke his wrist."

"That's not a question," he said quietly.

"Technically no, but I think you understand what I'm asking regardless." I shook my head in disbelief as I thought about that awful sound in the alley as Edward had squeezed the man's arm. "No man is that strong, and most certainly not a seventeen year old boy like you, Edward."

"Bella, I…when I get angry I lose control of my temper and I…" He stopped and sighed. "It's common knowledge that at critical moments people find strength they never thought possible."

"No," I said angrily, "You aren't being truthful. It wasn't a momentary burst of strength, Edward. One minute you were at the end of the alley and in the blink of an eye you were there…protecting me…breaking his wrist. It's not possible…for someone to move as quickly or be as strong as that."

"Please, Bella," he said, his voice barely audible. "Let me take you home, there are some things you simply can't know, that I cannot tell you. I meant what I said earlier, I _want_ to tell you more than you could ever know, but there are so many reasons why I _can't_. I don't want to keep things from you, please believe me."

"I will see you again, though?" I asked quickly. "I need to see you again, Edward."

"I promise, Bella. I told you before I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore." He brought my hands up to his mouth and kissed them. "It's very late and no doubt your parents are already home so you may have some explaining to do."

"Then I'll let it go for now, but can I ask more questions tomorrow?" I clarified and he chuckled.

"Yes, and I will try to explain them as clearly as possible…but there are some things-"

"That you can't tell me. You want to—but you can't. I understand, Edward."

In the car Edward fell quiet again, a troubled frown on his face. "Are you angry?" I asked and he nodded once. "I'm sorry."

He took my hand quickly and held it to his chest. "Not with you, Bella, of course I'm not angry with you. I was thinking about what happened and my anger was getting the better of me. In any other situation I would not have let it pass."

"What will your brothers do to him?" I asked nervously. "Will they hurt him?"

He shook his head. "As much as they'd want to, it wouldn't be prudent for them to do anything to attract more suspicion. Trust me when I say there will be absolutely no need to worry about him, Bella. He won't hurt you or anybody else again."

Regretfully, the drive home was short and much sooner than I liked, we were parked down the street from my house. I saw the lights on downstairs and sighed.

"Time to face the music," I said glumly.

"Phil is already fast asleep," Edward said. "Your mother and Ms. Cope are waiting for you. It would seem that Ms. Cope has created quite a story, as much as I hate the idea myself, it may just keep you out of any serious trouble."

I giggled. "That is quite a convenient gift you have, Edward. What story has she created?"

"Apparently, Lauren and Jessica accompanied you on a date with Mike Newton. You didn't want your parents to know in case it was an unpleasant evening that you did not wish to repeat. Phil was initially unhappy with your lie about being ill, but before he went to bed he was relieved you had moved on from your fascination with me." Edward tried to smile, but didn't quite manage it.

"Let them think I have moved on—you and I both know that is not, nor will it ever be, the case, Edward." I leaned across the center of the car and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you again for being there tonight, and I'm already looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. Goodnight, Edward."

"Goodnight, Bella, sleep well."

Edward, in another of his extraordinarily fast moves, was opening my door before I'd even reached for the handle. "You are going to explain that to me tomorrow, Edward."

I heard him chuckle as I walked towards the house. My heart began to race and I felt increasingly nervous as I approached the front door. The creak of the gate and the wooden porch alerted my mother to my presence and she flung open the door.

"Isabella, do you have any idea what time it is?" she asked and pulled me inside. "Your father and I came home early to make sure you were okay and find you gone…you need to thank Ms. Cope for telling us what you had planned."

I saw Ms. Cope standing behind my mother at the end of the hall, smiling sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Miss, I just thought it for the best that your mother knew about your evening with Mr. Newton."

"While we didn't appreciate you sneaking around with the boy, Isabella, even your father admitted it was very sensible of you to insist on two chaperones. We will have a talk again tomorrow about acting responsibly, but now that you're home safe I'm going to try and sleep."

"I'm sorry, mother," I said as she made her way upstairs. As soon as she was out of sight I whispered to Ms. Cope, "Thank you, I dread to think what her reaction would have been if she knew the truth."

"You're playing a dangerous game, Miss," Ms. Cope said coolly and I frowned. "Mrs. Dwyer may not have noticed, but I certainly did. The car that brought you home was most definitely not the car belonging to the Newton family. In fact, unless I'm very much mistaken, it was Dr. Cullen's."

"Edward happened to be at the jazz club," I said, trying to sound convincing. "Lauren and Mike were getting along rather well and I wanted to come home, so he offered to drive me. You needn't worry, Ms. Cope, I know what I'm doing."

"For both your sakes, Miss, I hope you do."

~SIFY~

I couldn't sleep my mind was awash with flashbacks from the incident in the alley and then the subsequent time spent with Edward. I gave up at around five-thirty and crept downstairs and out of the house. I wrapped my coat tightly around me, the temperature was still low as the sun rose in the sky. It was already shining quite brightly for such an early hour and I looked forward to what was going to be a warm, sunny day. A day made increasingly pleasant when I had the company of Edward.

I wandered to the beach, watching the waves roll back and forth. There was no other noise besides the crashing of the water and it helped clear my mind of the frightening events of the previous night. I focused on the questions I still had to ask Edward, trying to put them in some kind of order, there were so many it was impossible.

"You need to stay away from the Cullen boy."

I gasped with fright and stumbled backwards as my eyes landed on a Native American man standing beside me.

"Stay away from all of them, the cold ones are dangerous," he said seriously.

"How do you know the Cullen's?" I asked, still taking small steps away from him.

"They've been known to my tribe for many, many years, as have others like them. Heed my warning, and stay away. It can only mean one thing for you." His eyes were harsh and his voice deadly serious."

* * *

**Insert scary music :D**

**I've been reading a super fic and I flove it!**

**Mud, Sweat, and Beers by Sparrownotes24 – Soldierward…that is all!**

**See you next week, next chapter is pretty much done :D**

**TTFN**

**Katy**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you so much for readig and for all your lovely reviews! I am working through replies…just very slowly ;)**

**Chapter 5**

"_Stay away from all of them, the cold ones are dangerous," he said. _

"_How do you know the Cullen's?" I asked, still taking small steps away from him. _

"_They've been known to my tribe for many, many years, as have others like them. Heed my warning, and stay away. It can only mean one thing for you." His eyes were harsh and his voice deadly serious. "Death."_

* * *

"Death?" I said, finding it difficult not to laugh.

"Death follows the Cullen's…it _is _the Cullen's," he said again and I shook my head.

"Um…I see. I think I should go home now," I told him and turned to leave, but he grabbed my arm and spun me back around. "Please stop, you're hurting me."

I heard a loud roar from amongst the tree line and the stranger heard it too. We both looked quickly towards the noise but there was no sign of anything...or anyone.

"I don't have much time," the stranger said, looking up at the sky. "The clouds."

"Clouds?" I said, completely confused. "I have no idea what you're talking about, but you really need to let me go. Edward _saved_ me last night. I found myself in a particularly dangerous situation and had it not been for Edward Cullen I dread to think what would have happened."

"There are different shades of dangerous. A good intention does not mean he isn't dangerous and won't hurt you. Stay away from him, all cold ones are to be feared."

"Cold ones?" I shook my arm free and stepped away. "Unless you care to elaborate I am leaving. I have no reason to trust you and a very good reason to trust the boy you insist is dangerous."

He nodded and took a deep breath. "I have nothing to hide and I will tell you my story. It's only fair you know the truth."

"Okay," I said apprehensively. I glanced around the beach, but it was still deserted. In retrospect, coming here at such an early hour was not the smartest of choices I'd made. I kept some distance between us, just in case I needed to make a quick escape.

"Almost forty years ago, when I was a young boy, we discovered another type of people living in the next village to ours. They were different to the pale faces, they were cold and hard and our instincts told us to fear them. When we realized they were part of our history…a fundamental part of how we had evolved, we knew they had to be destroyed. Cold ones are known as something a little different in your world, but they should be feared nonetheless. We confronted them, meant to fight them, but their leader assured us they were different. The tribe elders agreed they seemed more refined, more human-like and in control of their dark side. The way they…fed was different to others of their kind and we came to a truce…an understanding if you will. We lived on either side of the divide on the promise no human life was to ever be taken."

"Cold ones," I said under my breath, thinking of what he could mean. He either hadn't heard or just didn't acknowledge what I'd said, and continued with his story. I listened curiously, unsure if the man before me was merely crazy or if there could possibly be truth to his words. He was talking about these people like they were not human, but if not human then what?

"Several years passed without incident. The truce was maintained as they kept their end of the deal not to hunt humans, but then one of our tribe—my youngest sister—disappeared. We discovered she had mistakenly wandered into their territory and we began searching for her. My brother and I found her broken body dumped like an animal the next day. She had been drained of all her blood, and her bones crushed, she was just nine years old. We knew they had done it, but the leader tried to convince us otherwise, claiming it was another of their kind who was responsible. He sat down with the elders and explained the effect human blood had on their bodies…their eyes specifically and somehow managed to convince them that they were innocent."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, my voice shaking. "Dr. Cullen cannot be more than thirty-five years old…his children barely older than me. It isn't possible that they were from the same tribe you speak of."

"The Cold Ones have many interesting traits, immortality is one of them," he said, and a cold chill ran down my spine. _Immortal? Cold Ones?_

"That's not possible," I whispered, feeling increasingly scared. "Those are just scary stories…myths meant to frighten us."

"Those myths and stories were founded on truth I assure you." He tried stepping closer but I stepped back, still not trusting the man. "I never forgave my elders for failing my sister, and I never believed that the Cullen's were not the ones responsible. As soon as I was mature enough, I made it my mission to make sure they could never hurt anybody else again. I don't need to make my presence known often, and fortunately the witch is unable to use her gift to discover me…but I'm always around, always watching. I saw you with the youngest one, I saw how captivated you were and I had to warn you. I couldn't allow another innocent to be taken at their hands. You need to stay away."

_Witch? Gift?_

"You're wrong," I said, shaking my head. "Edward is not the monster you describe."

He sighed and shook his head. "I beg you to be careful."

Without another word, he turned and began walking away. "Wait," I called out and chased after him. "Where are you going?"

"I'll be around. I'm always around, but I cannot help you if you refuse to believe me. The clouds are about to conceal the sun, you'll have company soon enough."

I didn't want to be seen following him by anybody out for an early morning stroll, so I stopped pursuing him as soon as we reached the roadside. I tried to catch my breath and watched as he walked.

"It can't be true," I said to myself. "It just can't possibly be true."

Just then, the sunlight disappeared and as he predicted, the clouds moved in front of the sun. Without having to turn around I knew I was not alone. I could feel him, standing close behind me.

"Hello, Edward," I said.

"Bella," he whispered.

"You were watching," I stated, still keeping my back to him. "You made that sound when he grabbed me?"

"Yes," he said, his voice tense and angry. "Did he hurt you?"

"No," I said. "Who was he?"

"That was Quil Artera from the Quileute tribe in Washington. His sister was murdered in 1903. My family lived in an estate just a few miles from the tribal lands and after explaining they meant no harm, strict boundaries were established. Like he told you, years went by without either of party breaking the truce, but then his sister got lost alone and they blamed my family for her death. I swear we never hurt her, Bella, I give you my word. Occasionally, we find others who discover our way of life and they investigate…evidently curious of how we choose to live. Tragically, the girl was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

I was struggling to absorb it all, how could this be real? I turned around and the expression on Edward's face broke my heart. He looked crushed, ashamed, and so incredibly tortured. "Edward, I don't understand. You said _'we never hurt her'_…it was forty years ago, of course _you_ didn't hurt her. Your family's history doesn't mould the person you become."

He shook his head, breaking our eye contact and looked at his feet. "I am my family's history, Bella. There was truth to Quil Artera's words, except for the claim we hurt his sister. Everything else was accurate…everything."

"Dr. Cullen…Esme…you? You can't be the same family…Edward it was 1903 and you're seventeen." I refused to believe it. It was incomprehensible. "No, I don't know what game you are playing but I want no part of it."

"I told you I was dangerous, that I wasn't good for you, Bella. Now do you believe me?" he asked, his voice pained.

"No. I want the truth. From the beginning to the end, Edward, no less. You need to be honest and forthright now, I beg you." I walked towards the treeline, knowing he was following.

Once we were deep in the cover of the trees I stopped and sat down on a fallen trunk. Edward sat beside me and looked down at the ground. I remained silent and watched him, waiting for him to start, and eventually he did.

"I was born in New York in 1835," he said still looking at the leaves and dirt on the ground, and I gripped onto the trunk tightly. "My father worked at the docks unloading cargo vessels. I remember as a child being excited for him to return home to see what surprises he'd brought for my mother and I. It would usually be pieces of fish which the markets couldn't sell on, but my mother was always able to make us a good dinner from it. Occasionally he would come back with spoiled exotic fruits and I loved the desserts my mother created with them. We had very little but I only remember being happy…of course it's all a blur now so many years have passed."

"1835? That would make you…it's not possible, Edward, look at you," I whispered, reaching out to touch his face.

His skin was cold and hard, but looked flawless and young. It was not feasibly possible for him to be over a hundred years old. His eyes closed as my fingers traced along his cheekbone and then over the tops of his eyelids.

"Please tell me more," I said, continuing to explore his face with my fingertips.

It occurred to me that although I was intrigued to hear the story; that I knew it would mean something almost inconceivable did in fact exist, in truth none of it mattered. The only thing that did was the boy sitting beside me, the boy who had become the centre of my universe.

"Would you continue doing that?" he asked and moved to sit on the floor, resting his head on my leg. "Is this okay?"

I nodded, smiling, trying to ignore the heat he stirred deep inside me. "Carry on, Edward."

"As soon as I was old enough, I accompanied my father to work each morning. The number of ships arriving each week was growing and more help was needed to unload them. There were few opportunities for the poorer families in those times and the small amount of money I earned helped my mother put food on the table. It was in the spring of 1853 when a vessel arrived from what I now know was Yemen. Only two of the crew were visible on deck when the ship docked and they were both gravely ill. My father told me to stay away while he and another worker boarded to see if he could help. I didn't listen to him, of course, and chose to follow him much to his anger. On the deck it all seemed normal, but then I went below and the smell I can still remember to this day. The rest of the crew were still in their bunks…all dead and the sheets covered in blood. I could see black marks all over their bodies. "

He stopped talking momentarily; my fingers trembled as they touched Edward's lips. He opened his eyes and watched me with an incredulous look on his face. "You're listening to me explain how I am over a hundred years old and have just encountered a ship full of dead sailors and you are still here…touching me like it's the most natural thing in the world."

"It is natural to me. I don't fear you, perhaps I should, but I don't," I said, marvelling at the intensity of his golden eyes. Not black with rage as they had been last night, they were still burning now, but in an entirely different way. "I think I may love you, Edward Cullen. I don't need to hear your story to know that, but I need to hear it regardless."

"Bella," he protested, but I placed my entire hand over his mouth and shook my head.

"Tell me the rest first, please."

He looked at me sadly and nodded. "My father sent me home; he refused to allow me to go near anything they removed from the ship. I was ordered to have a wash down as soon as I got to the house. I told my mother what had happened, and she turned almost frantic. She stripped me of my clothes in the yard and quite literally scrubbed every inch of my skin. I was raw by the time she finished and I didn't understand why. When my father finally arrived home he explained about the plague that had cursed other parts of the world and it was suspected that those on the ship had died of the disease."

I thought back to a lesson about the Black Death which had killed almost half of the people in the world hundreds and hundreds of years ago. Other similar outbreaks had occurred often since then, but nothing on such a large scale. I didn't understand what this had to do with Edward living to be the age he was, so I listened eagerly.

"I found out later that the ship and its cargo were to be destroyed, and the two surviving crew members died that same night. It was just a few days later that I started to feel unwell. I was feverish and had terrible pains in my abdomen, my father, too had the same symptoms and my mother was beside herself. The other workers at the dock were sick and people started to panic that an outbreak would strike in the city. We were basically barricaded in our own home, with only one kind doctor and his wife willing to try and help those affected."

"You caught it?" I asked and Edward nodded, my stomach lurched. "Was there no cure?"

He shook his head. "No. Sanitation and medicine were not as advanced as they are now and there was nothing that could be done except wait for the inevitable. The doctor was simply trying to make us more comfortable in the final days of our lives. My father deteriorated rapidly, my mother kept us apart as I didn't seem to be progressing as quickly and I think she dared to hope I would be okay. I could hear her and the doctor trying to care for him, he was vomiting and I would see my mother bring sheets and clothes down to burn which were covered in blood. He died less than a week later."

"I'm so sorry, Edward," I said, feeling my eyes fill with tears. "I can't imagine what that must have been like."

"It was a very long time ago, Bella." He smiled, placing his hand over mine, which was resting on his cheek. "I was still ill, slowly becoming worse, and I discovered black spots on my arms and legs just like I saw on those sailors. Just a day after my father died, my mother took ill, the doctor and his wife stayed every single day and night caring for the both of us, but just like my father, my mother deteriorated quickly. She was dead three days later."

"But you survived?" I asked.

"Not exactly," he said with a dark laugh. "The doctor who cared for my family was Carlisle, and his wife was Esme. He knew I was going to die, too, so he gave me an alternative way to escape the nightmare. For three days after he…_helped…_I begged for death, but then the burning pain started to ease and I woke up in a strange house with Carlisle and Esme standing over me. From that day he chose to save me I've been frozen, seventeen forever. I am not alive in the literal sense of the word, and legend would say I have no soul. For a long time I hated what I'd become, but now I'm thankful because it brought me to you."

I looked on in bewilderment. The stories and legends were true?

"What are you thinking, Bella?" he begged. "Please tell me truthfully."

"You aren't bad," I said and he frowned. "The stories that we hear paint a very different picture, Edward. Evil creations of the devil, preying on innocent people and causing havoc—I think you've heard more than I have. You aren't like that; none of your family is like that."

"We try to be the people we were before, but it doesn't make us any less dangerous, Bella. We are strong as you know, fast, and we have a desire for something that is our biggest and only weakness."

"Blood," I stated, and he nodded once. "But Quil Artera said you weren't a threat to humans…that you were different?"

"He didn't say we weren't a threat exactly, because we are, but yes we are different to others of our kind. Despite the urge for something more, we only hunt animals. It's not the most satisfying but it provides us with a small relief to the thirst." He sat up, studying my face closely.

"But you ate the food at dinner last week," I said and he laughed.

"Yes, we can eat your food if we choose. It provides no sustenance for us, but it helps maintain the illusion I suppose. I'd prefer not to, it tastes terrible." I saw him visibly relax and although I wasn't sure if it was down to the fact I didn't run away, screaming for my life, or if it was just a relief for him to share his story with someone else. "I can't quite believe how well you're taking this."

"You see yourself as a monster," I said, leaning closer to him, resting my head on his and feeling him stiffen as I did so. "But you're not. Edward, I may have led a sheltered life up to this point, but I'm not so naïve that I don't appreciate there are some truly evil people out there who deserve to be referred to as monsters. There are the kinds of men I encountered last night; there are those who think it justifiable to murder innocent men, women, and children in Europe. They are monsters in the truest sense of the word, Edward, not you."

He wasn't breathing, that I could tell. His body was so incredibly still as we sat so close to each other, and I wondered if I had overstepped. I tried to move back, but his hand pressed softly on the back of my head and held me in place.

"Don't move, Bella, I like this," he whispered, moving his face slightly so our noses also touched.

"But you're so tense," I said, and he shook his head.

"It can be difficult to be so close to you; I just need a few moments to adjust to it…to the way you smell." He moved the hand that was on the back of my head and slid it slowly to hold my face, bringing his other hand up to do the same. "That first night was the most difficult—outside the dressing room in the club, it was almost too much, but then we danced and I realized being with you in a completely different way would bring me more relief, more satisfaction than anything else."

Edward tilted his chin infinitesimally, his eyes dropping to my mouth. My heart began to thump and my hands started to shake as he continued to move closer and closer still. It was so painfully slow that I wanted to reach out and pull him to me, but I couldn't move.

"Keep very still," he said his voice heavy.

I didn't move or say a word, waiting to experience an entirely different part of Edward, one that I'd been dreaming about. His sweet breath washed over my face and I inhaled it greedily, closing my eyes to try and savor the moment. It seemed to take hours before I felt the briefest of ice-cold brushes against my lips, but the second he kissed me I wanted it to last forever.

A faint moan escaped almost involuntarily as he pressed his mouth to mine once again. He tasted as sweet and perfect as I thought he would, but it was so much more perfect than I ever dared to hope. Once, twice, three times he kissed me, each one with more confidence and passion. I grabbed onto his arms, pulling him closer immediately sensing him tense once again, but he didn't pull away. I let my mouth part and traced the very tip of my tongue against his bottom lip, he groaned, but then was gone.

I opened my eyes and saw Edward about fifty feet away, almost concealed by a tree. He smiled sheepishly and walked back towards me cautiously.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked.

"Not at all. Being with you, Bella, stirs long forgotten sensations deep inside me and I admit I have a much harder time controlling those than I do my thirst. The way you make me feel is almost indescribable…please forgive me?" He reached for my hand and I gave it to him willingly.

"Of course," I replied, and let him pull me to my feet. "You moved so quickly, is that easy for you?"

"Yes," he nodded, a cheeky grin forming on his face. "It's a lot of fun when I can really run…I have to take so much care to move at your speed. I'd rather like to take you with me one day. "

I nodded enthusiastically. "That sounds like a lot of fun," I agreed.

"You should be getting home now, Bella. I wouldn't want you to get into any trouble because of me. I would love to walk you home, but now the cloud has dissipated I'm afraid it's just not possible." He pointed to a break in the trees and sure enough the sunlight was filtering through.

"Why is that?" I asked. "The man on the beach knew you'd appear as soon as the cloud came…why would he think that?"

"Surely you've heard that myth?" he asked sarcastically.

"Well, yes, I have," I admitted. "But everything else about you is somewhat different to the typical stories that I assumed the bursting into flames part of the myth was also incorrect."

"It _is_ a more exaggerated version of the truth," he told me. "Over the years I presume each person telling the story has elaborated for dramatic purposes…would you care to see?"

"Very much," I said quickly and he led me to the edge of the treeline. He listened carefully for a minute or two, checking we were alone and then with a deep breath he held out his hands, palms up, and let the rays of the sun glare down upon them.

* * *

**Thanks to prettyflour & Kitty for prereading!**

**I did research the plague and other diseases common in the nineteenth century, but there were so many different types, symptons, outbreaks, incubation periods etc that I had to try and pull a few things together to fit the story...****I swear if my internet is monitored in any great detail my provider is going to think I'm a complete weirdo! My most recent google searches have included Plagues of the world and their mortality rate, Objectum Sexuals, Vampire Woman of Mexico, Federal Prisons & Robert Pattinson! **

**The next chapter is two-thirds done but still needs a bit of work and the magic touch of Prettyflour & Kitty, so I'll post as soon as I can :)**

**See you soon!**

**Katy**

**xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks to Prettyflour and Kitty for prereading! I own nothing, but you already knew that anyway. I know this is going to be a little different to canon…but it's necessary believe me ****)**

**Chapter 6**

I watched in confusion at first as nothing appeared to be happening, but as I glanced up to Edward's face and back to his hands I saw it. A faint redness had begun to color the palms of his hands, slowly becoming darker and darker with each passing second until it was a deep, painful looking red and I noticed small cracks in his skin begin to form.

"Edward…" I whispered, reaching out to touch his hand but stopping myself quickly in case I hurt him. "So it really does…it burns you?"

"Yes it burns us. The thirstier we are, the quicker and more severe the effect and if we stay exposed then…well it's our only weakness, the only way to destroy us."

I looked at him, feeling a little panicked and he quickly pulled his hands out of the sunlight. "We heal rapidly as soon as we're in the shade; again it takes a little longer if we're thirsty."

Sure enough the deep red of his skin began to fade and the cracks started to close and within minutes his hands were almost back to their original color, much to my relief. "Does it hurt?" I asked, still wanting to reach out and touch him, as if that would somehow reinforce what I was seeing, because it was extraordinary.

"At first the warmth is oddly comforting. You can feel it warming through your entire body like submerging yourself into a hot bath. It's actually rather pleasant, at first anyway, but then it intensifies the longer we're exposed," he admitted. "I suspect it's rather the same as humans who suffer a burn. It's only direct sunlight we have to be wary of, so daylight itself isn't a problem if there is enough cloud coverage."

"So that's why you can go out during the day," I said and he nodded. "And it takes longer to heal when you're thirsty because you're weaker? Your body needs more time to recover?"

"Basically, yes," he said. "We aren't entirely vulnerable of course, and there are precautions we can take to protect ourselves. Clothes act as a barrier and even parasols to a certain degree but obviously we still have to avoid stepping out of the shade on days like this."

"Yes," I said, giggling as an image of the Cullen's in face masks and gloves in the middle of the summer formed in my head. "I would love to see the reaction to Mrs. Cullen in a balaclava on the beach."

Edward laughed, but looked a little bewildered. "How can you take this all in your stride as you do? It's remarkable, Bella…you're remarkable."

I shrugged. "I told you before, I _want_ to know everything about you, but the fine print really makes no difference to how I feel because it makes up who you are, Edward. You're beautiful, inside and out and everything that you've been through and everything you've become has contributed to that. Like I also said, I think I may love you—actually no, that's not the entire truth. I _know _I love you, Edward Cullen. "

"Bella," he whispered, reaching out to place his hand over my heart. "To hear you say that, to know that _you_ could love _me_ is indescribable. I should never have allowed things to get this far but you are quite literally the most important thing in my life now. My world revolves around you and you alone."

"So what happens now?" I asked. "Phil is extremely stubborn. I doubt he would ever approve of you and me now he has taken such a dislike to you."

"Let me worry about your stepfather, Bella." He wrapped his arms around me, carefully pulling me into his chest, and then chuckled.

"Why are you laughing?" I asked.

"My sister, Alice, saw you and her becoming friends," he said. "I dismissed her, of course. I should have known better than to doubt her."

"What will your family say when they know that I know?" I asked nervously.

"The majority will be pleased for me, especially Esme. She worried about me spending so much time alone. My sister, Rosalie—or cousin as the rest of the town thinks she is—however, I suspect will have some strong words to say to me when I return home."

"She doesn't like me?" I said, but he shook his head.

"No, Rosalie is far too selfish a creature to consider her feelings for anybody else. She just thinks any outsider who knows our secret poses a threat to our way of life. Of all of us, she was the one who found the change more difficult to handle and tries desperately to live as normal a life as she can." I felt him press his lips to the top of my head, and then he inhaled deeply. "I'll speak to her privately later."

"So the rest of your family are at home now?" I frowned as I thought of something else I wanted to ask that would sound incredibly stupid.

"Why are you frowning?" Edward asked, tilting my chin up to look at me. "I can tell there's something on your mind…just what it is, I have no idea."

I smiled sheepishly. "This is one of those times you'll be grateful you can't hear my thoughts."

He shook his head defiantly. "I've told you before, Bella. I will _always_ want to know exactly what you're thinking—no exception."

"Do you sleep in coffins to escape the sunlight at home?" I blurted out and he laughed loudly. "Is that where your family are now?"

"Myth. A crazy myth." He continued to laugh for a minute and then told me, "We have drapes, Bella, and we simply close them if we need to."

"So you sleep in beds like regular people," I said with a huge sigh of relief, but he shook his head. "You don't?"

"We don't sleep."

"You don't sleep?" I repeated and he nodded. "I can't imagine what that must be like—to always be awake."

"It's actually something I've grown to like…very recently that is." He smiled shyly. "I find the fact humans sleep absolutely fascinating; to lose yourself in your subconscious every night. I could watch _you_ sleep every night. You talk and move around so much…I want desperately to know what you're dreaming about."

"You say that like you've already watched me sleep?" I said, and he shrugged. "You haven't…have you?"

"I've been close by every night since the night we met, Bella. You enthralled me and I couldn't stay away from you, but I never actually came to your room, not until last night anyway. After what happened in the alley I was concerned for your wellbeing. Like I said in the diner, sometimes the shock of terrible things such as that can hit much, much later. I just wanted to make sure you were safe. I watched from the tree by your window and then just couldn't leave. I hope I haven't offended you? I left long before you woke up."

"I'm not offended." I smiled. "I doubt I'll sleep tonight knowing you could be out there."

"I'll stay away if you'd prefer?" he asked, but I shook my head quickly.

"No, I didn't mean you would frighten me or anything like that, I just meant I should hate to waste time sleeping when I could spend it with you." I kissed him on the cheek, chuckling when he instinctively stiffened. "I really should be getting home. The longer I'm away, the angrier Phil will no doubt be. Perhaps I'll see you later? I expect to be confined to my bedroom for several days—something I think now sounds quite nice."

"Until later then, Bella." He smiled.

I blew him one final kiss and stepped out into the sunlight. There were now several people I recognized from the club walking their dogs who waved when they saw me. I waved back, and walked briskly home. Phil and my mother were sitting out on the porch, and they motioned for me to join them.

"We need to discuss last night, Isabella," Phil said sternly, and I sat beside my mother on the swing.

"I'm sorry if I worried you," I said, trying to sound as genuine as I could. "I know you like Mr. and Mrs. Newton's son, but the idea of trying to talk to a boy like that in front of everybody at the club made me anxious. You know how people gossip and that bothered me, so I thought if we could spend some time together away from the club, I could try to get to know him a little better. I took Jessica and Lauren along; I knew being alone with him would be frowned upon."

Phil nodded once and said, "I won't stop you from seeing the Newton boy again, but I do think you need to be punished for your behaviour, Isabella. For the next week, you will help Ms. Cope with her chores, and you will not be permitted to spend time with your friends or visit the club."

"I understand." I smiled sweetly. "May I go and change? I went for a walk on the beach and have sand in my shoes."

"Yes, spend some time in your room today, Isabella, and read a book. There's to be no more sneaking out of the house early in the morning either. If you want to go for a walk, you ask our permission first. Am I clear?" Phil waited for me to acknowledge him and then waved me away. I heard him say to my mother as I approached the door, "At least she's past that irrational infatuation with the Cullen boy."

"Not possible," I whispered under my breath, and went to my room.

~SIFY~

I spent the day with my head buried in one book after another, but I couldn't concentrate. My mind would drift to Edward and the discovery that some of those scary stories and old legends were in fact true. Edward was not of this world, but it made me love him no less and I certainly didn't fear him, despite both his and Quil Artera's warning. I continually glanced out of the window, hoping to see him.

Ms. Cope brought lunch to my room, but aside from that I didn't have any company until dinner. I sat quietly at the table, trying to give the impression I was taking my punishment seriously and also because I simply couldn't stop thinking about Edward.

"Your mother and I are going to the Stanley's for drinks after dinner and then onto the club. We will be out until late, Isabella," my mother told me. "Ms. Cope knows you are to stay in your room, please do not take advantage of her again."

I nodded. "Of course not. In fact I am quite tired, may I be excused as soon as we've all finished?"

"There's something else we wanted to discuss with you, Isabella," Phil said with a mouthful of food. "You'll be seventeen in September."

"Yes," I said, puzzled.

"It's time to consider your future," he said, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Although I think it's unlikely to happen, your grandfather says it's just a matter of time before we become involved in the war. If he's right, then a lot of young men are going to be enlisting in the military, including Michael Newton and probably even the Cullen boy."

I tried not to smile, knowing he was very much wrong about that. Mike perhaps, but definitely not Edward. "A lot of boys dream about becoming soldiers, but I don't understand what you mean by consider my future."

"Just be careful, Isabella. I like Newton as you know, he comes from a polite and successful family and is obviously taken with you, but there a lot of men losing their lives fighting in this war and I wouldn't want to see you get hurt if anything were to happen to someone you cared about." He lit a cigar and asked Ms. Cope to get him some brandy. "I am happy for you to court him, but perhaps it would be better if you took things slowly."

"I understand," I said. "I was actually hoping to find a summer job perhaps in the club?"

"Goodness, why would you want to do that?" my mother asked incredulously.

"I think it would be good for me," I said. "I certainly don't want to spend the rest of my life doing nothing. I studied hard with Mrs. Tanner, I might as well put the hours of tutoring to good use."

Another benefit to being among the wealthiest families in Winnetka, our parents saw no need to have us formally educated at the school. Instead, Jessica, Lauren, and I were individually home schooled. I hated it and had always missed the idea of attending school and mixing with other girls my age.

"I was considering applying to nursing school when I was eighteen," I told them. "I would like to experience living a little before I even consider looking to marry."

"Certainly not," my mother said. "Isabella, you're extraordinarily fortunate to live this way. If you make smart decisions about your future and who you choose to marry, you can enjoy a life like we've provided for you so far."

"I don't want to live _your_ life, Mother," I argued. "I want to see other places and meet new people. With a few exceptions the people here in town are bland and happy to watch their lives pass them by as long as they have more money and power than the next person. I don't want that."

"Isabella, you're just a child, you have no idea what you want." Phil rolled his eyes. "This conversation was intended to warn you about being cautious with Newton, not to discuss you running away to pursue a day dream which could never come to fruition."

"Why couldn't it?" I asked.

"Enough, Isabella," Phil said firmly. "I will not discuss this with you. First you sneak off last night and now you're acting insolently at the dinner table. I don't know why you're behaving like this, but it stops this instant. Am I understood?"

"Yes," I said, scowling. "May I be excused now? I am feeling tired."

He waved me away and I pushed away from the table, heading straight upstairs to my bedroom. I flopped down onto the bed and groaned in frustration. I had spent almost seventeen years living in this bubble and I hated it more with each passing day. My mother may love the security a life with Philip Dwyer offered, but I was not becoming her. I wanted to marry a boy I loved and who loved me. I didn't care if we had a huge house like this or if we had to settle for a dilapidated apartment.

I heard my parents leave and as soon as they had, Ms. Cope came to see me.

"How are you feeling now?" she asked softly and sat on my bed.

"Frustrated," I admitted. "Why can't they let me choose the life I want?"

"Oh, Miss. Isabella, I sympathize with you entirely." She put her hand on my arm. "Can I tell you a story?" I nodded and she continued, "I grew up not entirely different to you. My parents were considered wealthy and when I was not much older than you are now, I was introduced to a man they hoped I would marry. Rather like you, I didn't want somebody else to decide my future, but times were different and I had little opportunity to change the path I was on, so my hand was forced. Just a few weeks before the wedding, I met the most handsome and charming boy and I fell in love. He was from a much poorer family and my parents would never approve, but I tried to persuade them regardless. My father was appalled and refused to let me see him again, but I was defiant…just like you." She smiled.

"What happened?" I asked eagerly.

"In the middle of the night I ran away with him. We travelled across the country and ended up in Chicago. We had no money or anywhere to live, but I truly didn't care because we had each other. We managed to find a small apartment, he found work at a small factory, and we married a few weeks later. Life was certainly a lot more difficult than I was used to, but we were happy. Unfortunately, it was at the height of the Great War and my nineteen year old husband was called to service. He left in the June of nineteen eighteen and I never saw him again. I received a letter saying he had perished whilst undertaking a brave service to his country long after I knew in my heart he was dead."

I saw her wipe away a tear from the corner of her eye and I moved closer to her to rest my head on her shoulder. "That's so sad," I said quietly. "What did you do afterwards?"

"I refused to return to my parents, I was a different woman entirely by that point and as much as I was afraid to be alone, I knew I had to create a life for myself. I found a family who were looking for a maid and eventually they moved here to Winnetka. As you know, that was Mr. Dwyer's mother and father and when you were born I simply moved from their home to live with your parents, and you became like the daughter I never had."

"I love Edward," I blurted out. "I would run away with him now if he asked."

"I know, dear," she said. "But, your father was right this morning when he said that boys like Edward and Mike would find the lure of the military exciting. The reality I'm sure is different, but that is the purpose of propaganda. I would hate to see you go through what I did."

"Do you regret it now? Running away with your husband?" I asked, sitting back up to look at her. "If you had the chance would you do it again?"

"In a heartbeat." She smiled proudly. "I wouldn't trade a second of my time with Donald."

"Then why are you telling me this now?"

"Because, you should know that life doesn't always turn out the way we hope or expect. Just be mindful, Isabella, that every decision has consequences." She smiled. "Your mother knows that better than most. Don't misunderstand her intentions, she does want you to be happy, but she doesn't want you to end up like she almost did. I suspect she hurts more than she'll ever let on, because your father was to her the same as Donald was to me…or dare I say, the same as Edward is to you."

She gave me a kiss on the cheek and stood up. "I'm going to make a start on my embroidery, but your parents won't be back for several hours. Do as you please while they're out, just be careful no one spots you, Isabella."

"I am quite tired," I said, feeling guilty for lying. "I'm going to read in bed before I try to sleep. Thank you for telling me, Ms. Cope. I always felt like you were the only one who understood me, and now I know why."

"My door is always open, don't ever forget that." She smiled and closed the door behind her, leaving me with a lot to contemplate.

I wondered how Edward would react if I told him I wanted to leave Winnetka with him. I knew I didn't have to worry about losing him to war like Ms. Cope had lost her husband, and I also didn't have to worry about him being killed in a bank robbery like my mother lost her love yet I did know that losing Edward because of reasons completely out of my control was certainly possible. I was young and naïve in so many ways, but even I could see the conflict in Edward's eyes when we were together.

I looked at the clock and saw it was almost seven-thirty, and I wanted desperately to see Edward. I didn't want to sit and wait around for him, so I went to get myself a glass of water and then took a bath. I wasn't sure how long had passed before I returned to my room, but my heart leapt when I saw Edward sitting on the edge of my bed with a grin on his face.

"I hope this is okay?" he asked, keeping his voice low.

"Being in my bedroom?" I whispered and he nodded. "Yes, it's okay. I was hoping you would come soon, I've missed you."

He patted the bed beside him and I snuggled into his chest without hesitation. I felt him tense and then take a deep breath, before his arm wrapped around my shoulders and he kissed the top of my head.

"Nursing School?" he said and I sighed.

"You were listening to that, too?"

"Of course," he said, completely unperturbed. "I was curious as to what would happen when Phil confronted you about sneaking away last night."

"Mm," I murmured. "He did seem very forgiving. I expected much worse a reaction."

"As I told you last night, he is just happy you appear to have lost interest in the—and I quote—strange Cullen boy." He laughed. "I didn't expect you to be interested in a career such as nursing, Bella."

"I think it would be rewarding to help those in need. I wouldn't want to work somewhere like this town, I think perhaps the city or somewhere people _really _need and appreciate it. I doubt either he or my mother would agree though," I grumbled and then something occurred to me. "If you heard the conversation over dinner…did you also hear the conversation between Ms. Cope and me?"

"Ah, yes," he replied, sounding a little frustrated. "You know running away with me is not a possibility, Bella. People in this town are already suspicious; we are having to be extra diligent to appease their suspicions and concerns. If all of a sudden you and I were to disappear, well I'm sure you can imagine the consequences."

"I don't care what the people think. Nobody in this godforsaken place has the ability to form their own opinions…they're nothing but sheep. If Phil wants them to like you, they'll like you…he's the one you need to impress." I looked up at him sadly.

"That's why it's better if we stay here."

"Why?"

"With my parents help, hopefully we can try to change Phil's impression of us. My mother and father can be quite charming as you know, and if he can be persuaded that we are no threat to his social standing maybe he will be more agreeable to you and I courting. However, if he remains insistent on keeping us apart, then we'll have to make sure he never finds out that I'll spend as much time with you as is physically possible. Well, until you tire of me that is."

"That's not possible, Edward. I will never tire of you," I said seriously. "But you're right, let's just take each day as it comes. Whatever happens, whatever he decides, I only have a year at the most left in Winnetka. As soon as I turn eighteen, they can't tell me who I can and cannot see, or what I can or cannot do."

I wanted a future with Edward of that I was certain, but how was that even possible? I would continue to grow older with each passing day while he remained seventeen. One thought lingered in the forefront of my mind, another way to have a future with Edward where I would not have to age. Another way where our future together was certain and although I didn't dare broach it with Edward just yet, I knew it was a conversation we would need to have in the near future.

**Thanks for reading and for all of your reviews! I'm working on the next chapter now and will post as soon as I can!**

**Bye for now,**

**Katy**

**x**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Thank you so so much for reading and for all your lovely reviews! Also, thanks to Kitty & Prettyflour for the help with everything!**

**I own nothing…literally not a penny to my name until payday which is in twenty-eight hours and thirteen minutes. Not that I'm counting or anything haha!**

**Chapter 7**

I tried to resist the urge to sing to myself and skip as I made my way downstairs to help Ms. Cope the following morning. If either of my parents saw me, they would become suspicious in an instant and I wanted to keep them as appeased as I possibly could. It was difficult, however, because spending the entire night with Edward was amazing. We'd talked for hours about every subject I could possibly think of and then when I started to fall asleep, he'd laid beside me and that was exactly how I'd woken up.

I couldn't stop myself from giggling when I pictured Phil's face had he walked into my room and caught us.

Today was Sunday, so I knew I wouldn't get to see Edward until much, much later. We were going to church this morning, and then to my grandparents this afternoon. Edward had left my bedroom earlier with the promise he would be back this evening and I couldn't wait.

"That dress looks very pretty, Isabella," my mother said as I walked into the lounge.

"Thank you," I said and sat beside her. "Did you have a good time last night?"

"We always do, darling. I'm sure Mike Newton will appreciate the effort you've put into your appearance this morning," she said with a smile. "You need to eat breakfast and then as soon as your father is ready, we'll be leaving for church."

I nodded and went into the kitchen, Ms. Cope was already preparing my porridge and she chuckled to herself when I sat down at the table.

"Did your mother not notice how cheerful you are this morning?" she asked, looking over her shoulder. "To say you spent the evening alone in your bedroom and not with a certain boy, I would have expected to see you considerably more downbeat, Miss. Isabella."

I blushed and smiled sheepishly. "Will you be joining us today?"

"Your father hasn't invited me yet," she said as she served my breakfast and then sat down opposite me. "But it would be nice to come with you, I always like to see your grandparents, they were very good to me."

"I was thinking a lot about what you said last night," I whispered and she narrowed her eyes. "Can I ask you one question?"

"If you must," she said and then shook her head, laughing. "I should have known better than to feed your inquisitive mind. It was meant more as a warning, Isabella, of what can happen."

"I know, and I promise I'm not planning to run away just yet," I teased and she laughed. "I was just curious why you never married again. Look at Mother, she found Phil straight away."

"As secure a life Phil gives your mother, Isabella," she said quietly, constantly looking to the kitchen door, "I can see how pained she still is, and I suppose seeing your mother like that all these years has made me realize that I could never give myself to someone else without feeling like I was betraying my husband. I don't judge your mother. She had you to worry about and wanted to ensure you had a good life. I didn't have any children, but if I had, then who's to say I wouldn't have done the very same thing?"

I nodded. "Do you have any photographs of him?"

"Just the one," she said with a sad smile. "He sent it to me after he left for the war. I was so proud; he was in his uniform and looked so handsome. I'll show it to you another time, I keep it upstairs."

I heard Phil's voice approaching the kitchen and Ms. Cope quickly started clearing away my dishes. I tried to help her but she stopped me. "I know part of your punishment was to help me, but we can make a start on that tomorrow. I wouldn't want you to dirty that dress, you look very pretty."

I smiled widely again, Edward admitted last night he had loved the blue of my dress the first time we met. I had decided to wear a dress in a similar color this morning. It had a white collar and trim with large white buttons, but the rest was a lovely deep blue.

"Thank you," I said.

Phil strode into the kitchen, already dressed in his usual Sunday clothes. "I hope Isabella gave you no trouble last night, Ms. Cope?"

"None at all, Sir," she answered. "She offered to help me with cleaning the kitchen this morning, but I didn't want her to spoil her dress, so we can make a start on other chores tomorrow—if that's okay with you, Mr. Dwyer?"

"Yes," he replied with a nod. "I'll leave it to your judgement, Ms. Cope. Would you like to join us today? I know my mother and father have always been fond of you."

"That's very thoughtful, Mr. Dwyer, thank you and I would be delighted to come." She smiled and scurried out of the kitchen to change.

*SIFY*

I saw a still very sheepish looking Mike, Lauren, and Jessica at church. I hadn't spoken to them since Friday night, and my mother had told me Jessica and Lauren had received similar punishments to me, although Mike being a boy, had gotten away with just a stern talking to. I did catch one or two sneaky glances and winks exchanged between Lauren and Mike, and hoped no one else spotted them. The last thing I needed was Phil asking anymore questions about Friday.

I felt guilty, but I barely listened to a word during Mass. I could do little else but daydream of Edward and last night. Although he had spent the night in my room, he had behaved like a gentleman and never tried to impose himself on me—other than a kiss or two—like mother always warned me boys would try to do.

The only problem with that was I was quite certain Edward imposing himself on me wouldn't be nearly as unpleasant as mother told me it was. Even in such a short space of time I thought a lot about the more physical aspects of being with Edward. It was new to me, something I'd barely given any thought to before. I was almost seventeen, and my mother was married to my father and pregnant with me at eighteen, so I certainly wasn't too young to be considering a more intimate relationship, but I had no idea how to even broach that subject with a boy and it wasn't exactly a conversation I could have with my mother. I knew Lauren was considerably more experienced than I was, so I decided to ask her for some advice.

My mother tapped my hand and I realized the congregation was starting to leave the church. I followed my parents back outside to the car and cringed when Mike Newton walked over to Phil.

"Mr. and Mrs. Dwyer," he said quietly. "I would like to apologize for Friday night. I thought-"

"I already explained to my father, that you and I wanted to spend some time together away from the prying eyes of the club, Mike," I said, eyeing him sternly, hoping he'd take the hint. "He knows I invited Lauren and Jessica along just as chaperones, and I've apologized to him for being deceitful."

Mike caught on quickly and nodded. "Yes, Sir, I know it was inappropriate. It will never happen again."

"If you want to see my daughter you come to me first. I've already made my feelings known to Isabella about the situation," Phil said. "I thought better of you than that, boy."

"Of course, Sir, I am very sorry." He turned and walked away.

My mother walked slowly by my side, letting Phil get a few feet in front and then said quietly, "It's peculiar, Isabella, that you insist Mike took you on the date and Lauren chaperoned, because the two of them could not keep their eyes off each other inside the church. I know there's something you're not telling me."

I thought up an answer as quickly as I could and blurted out, "The date was supposed to be for Mike and me at first." I tried to sound convincing but my mother looked sceptical. "He was very polite but we really didn't have anything in common, and he and Lauren started to get along rather well. I haven't spoken to her since, but I think she does like him and vice versa. I didn't want to say anything and have Phil think badly of Mike. He really is a nice boy, he's just…"

"Not Edward Cullen," she said sadly and sighed. "Isabella, you know I have no objections to the Cullen family, but for some reason, Phil dislikes them intensely and you can't defy him on this."

"I know," I said I what I hoped was a sincere tone. "Although I do think if he took the time to really get to know them all and put aside his childish jealousy I'm certain he'd see that they were all really nice people. Edward included."

My mother narrowed her eyes and warned me, "It's remarks like that, Isabella, that leave you in such hot water. You must learn to control that mouth of yours. Edward, Mike, or any other boy for that matter will not find that quirk an attractive quality in a woman. Phil has his reasons for disliking the Cullen's, and for as long as you're living under his roof you must respect that."

"Perhaps if that respect was reciprocated my _attitude _would be a little easier to control," I muttered and I saw Ms. Cope's lips twitch as she tried not to smile.

"That's enough," my mother said, a little more sternly. "Edward Cullen will not be a part of your life, Isabella. You need to accept that."

I scoffed silently and knew for a fact she was wrong, because he was already a most important part of my life. "Don't worry, Mother, I'm sure it's just a silly crush and I'll forget all about him soon."

She laughed once in frustration and shook her head. "You're a terrible liar, Isabella."

*SIFY*

The afternoon spent with my grandparents was as boring as I'd anticipated. My grandfather was a typical Dwyer man, opinionated and domineering, but in a completely different way to Phil. He was much more open-minded and didn't seem to share his son's opinion that a child was to be seen and not heard. He encouraged me to talk freely and gave me the respect that I certainly never got from my parents.

After we ate, once again the topic of conversation had steered to the conflict in Europe and that it was inevitable we would become involved at some point.

"All those who voted in favour of _Lend-Lease_ because they think it will keep us out of the war were naïve. The Allies need more than money and supplies, they need troops in numbers. " He lit another cigar took a long drag. "It's only a matter of time before we do, they're already drafting in more men. They were recruiting in Chicago last week, Eric Yorkie's son signed up."

"I hate to think of all those young men who might end up losing their lives," Ms. Cope said quietly and I reached under the table to squeeze her hand. "It's such a waste."

"That it is," my grandfather agreed.

"An unnecessary waste," my mother said. "It's not our fight; we need to stay out of it."

I shook my head at my mother's ignorance. "We can't pretend it's not happening, mother, that makes us no better than the monsters who started this whole thing. War is unnecessary whichever way you look at it. It's a side to human nature which makes me feel so ashamed. Just think about all those innocent people who have been murdered just because they don't conform to one man's perception of what a race should be, or how a nation should be represented," I argued with such defiance my grandmother gasped and apparently angered Phil. "Surely those responsible need to be stopped and held accountable? Maybe if we _all_ united to help, then the Nazi's might realize they would lose and all this could be over sooner with fewer men, women, and children dying?"

"Isabella," my mother began to warn, but my grandfather hushed her and laughed loudly.

"You're a firecracker, Isabella," he said and then slapped Phil on the back. "I can see you having difficulty with this one in the future, Son."

Phil gave me a stern look and started to chastise me for speaking out of turn…again. "Know your place, Isabella, and don't try to speak of things you know nothing about."

"The girl speaks sense, Phillip, don't stifle her," my grandfather told him and gave me a supportive smile. "Nobody ever _wants_ to become embroiled in conflict, but there has always been and will always be people fighting one another for something whether it be territory, greed, religion, or a man like Hitler who should never have been voted into a position of power in the first place. Now, brave men have to fight to put an end to it and they have no idea what awaits them when they first enlist."

"Isabella and I were discussing this just the other night," Ms. Cope said. "Propaganda has everybody believing the soldiers are as happy as can be expected in the face of war but the reality is somewhat different."

"Food, ammunition, clothing, they're lacking in so much. That's why they need all the help they can get." My grandfather nodded.

"We have already warned, Isabella, about becoming too close to any of the young men in town just in case you're right and we take a more active role," Phil said. "One or two have been interested in courting her recently."

"There's no need to be concerned," I added quickly. "I have no interest in any _boy_ in town. As I mentioned to my parents I would like to see more of the world before I consider marriage. I rather like the idea of nursing as a profession."

Phil looked furious, but my grandfather was amused. "Nursing? I didn't expect that coming from a girl with your upbringing, Isabella."

"I was fortunate to live like this, but there are others much less fortunate than I and I want to try and give something back." I kept my eyes on my grandfather, ignoring Phil who I suspect would be turning a deeper shade or purple the longer this conversation progressed.

"That's a very noble thing to want to do," my grandfather said, almost proudly, "And I suspect with your determination and dare I say stubbornness you won't make your parents' life easy until you get what you want."

"Well, it's irrespective," Phil scoffed. "Nursing isn't an option until she's eighteen and I'm certain this phase will have passed by the time she reaches that milestone." He then started talking about a new project he was hoping to start work on and managed to keep my grandfather's attention away from my aspirations.

*SIFY*

"I think I'm going to bed," I said weakly after we had returned home that evening. "I'm very tired."

"If you like," Phil said, puffing on a cigar. "Don't forget Ms. Cope needs your help with the chores tomorrow."

"I haven't forgotten," I told him and kissed my mother goodnight.

I knew Edward was already there, his presence brought out a reaction in me that I couldn't begin to explain. Every hair on my arm was stood on end and my heart was racing. I grinned as I opened the door and sure enough, he was standing by the bed with a smile matching my own. Without a second thought I ran at him, throwing my arms around his neck.

"Edward," I cried a little too loudly than was sensible.

"Ssh," he said, chuckling. "Your parents are downstairs, Bella."

"Oops, sorry," I said. "I'm just so happy to see you."

"As I am you," he murmured, and I felt his lips press against my hair. "It feels…wrong…to be apart from you. How was your day?"

"Uneventful," I said, pulling back to look at him. "Mother knows Mike and I aren't interested in courting. She saw him winking at Lauren in church."

"Yes, I heard her thinking about that before you came upstairs. She's actually going to try and talk to Phil about me to persuade him to be a little more agreeable." He looked hopeful, but I scoffed.

"He won't be swayed," I told him, pulling him to the bed so we could sit down. "He feels threatened by your family. You're new in town, seemingly wealthier than him, and he doesn't like the fact everyone else was so taken with you all. Myself included. I know you said last night you wanted to try and change his mind about you, but I doubt you'll succeed."

"And if I don't?" he asked.

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him." I shrugged. "No one can tell me what to feel, Edward. I love you and I really don't care about much else."

"I love you, too." He smiled. "It's a dangerous situation for you, and a risky one for my family and me, but I won't stay away."

"Good." I took a deep breath and leaned forward to kiss him.

At first he responded hungrily, his hands holding me tightly against him. I tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling him as close as possible. I even tried to push him back down onto the bed, but the very second Edward caught onto my intention, he froze and moved his hands to my shoulders, pushing me away—softly but firmly.

"Bella," he said, "We can't...we have to be careful."

"I know, Edward. Don't worry about my parents, they are downstairs and will be for a while yet. They won't come in my bedroom, they never come in late at night but you'll hear them if they do anyway." I tried to kiss him again, but he was gone in the blink of an eye; standing by the window.

"That's not what I meant, Bella," he said. "Being with you is dangerous enough, I can't…we can't…I could hurt you."

"Oh," I said dejectedly. "I'm sorry for behaving so brazenly, Edward."

As quickly as he was gone, he was back at my side again. "_Your behaviour _has nothing to do with this. The way I feel when I'm with you, Bella, you have to believe me when I say I _want_ to share everything with you, I do more than anything, but we can't. I could kill you." He looked sadly at me. "I have to take so much care with you, if I ever lost control I dread to think what could happen."

"Oh, I see," I said. "Lost control in what way exactly? Do you mean because of the way I smell to you, because it would be hard to control…your thirst?"

"As a matter of fact," he murmured and pressed his cold lips to my jaw and trailed them down to my throat, inhaling deeply as he did, "That's not what I meant. Bella, the way you smell will always be appealing to me in that way, but the more time I spend with you, the easier it is to handle. I was referring to the fact I'm so much stronger than you. I could hurt you…break you so easily and I suspect being in that situation would be such an overwhelming an experience that I might lose some of the restraint I have to exert when I'm with you. Just a simple touch of your face could turn into a serious injury and I couldn't bear to hurt you."

"I understand," I whispered and then a thought occurred to me. "You said you _suspect _being in that situation would be overwhelming…does that mean you don't actually know?"

He shook his head. "I can only assume that would be the case, having not experienced it myself before."

"You haven't?" I asked, smiling widely. "Has there really been no one else?"

He shook his head and smiled. "Only you, Bella, there will only ever be you."

"I feel the same," I told him and then added shyly, "If we have to be careful not to take things too far, maybe I can just kiss you again?"

He laughed. "I think that would be perfectly acceptable."

So, for what seemed like hours, we did just that. As much as I knew I would always want more with Edward, I also knew that I was happy to take whatever I could from him.

I woke up, feeling cold but deliriously happy. I was nestled against Edward's side, his fingertips tracing patterns on my hand. "Good morning," I said sleepily. "I love waking up with you here."

"And I love being here when you wake up."

"I have to help Ms. Cope today," I grumbled as I noticed the thick cover of cloud in the sky. "It would have been nice to spend the day with you."

"Phil is spending the day at the club going over the books, and your mother has just made plans with Mrs. Stanley. They're going to spend the day in Chicago together." He grinned. "Ms. Cope has already decided to let you do as you please, but you have to be home before four-thirty so nobody knows you've been out of the house."

I looked at him in excitement. "So I can spend the day with you?"

He nodded. "I wondered if you would like to meet the rest of my family?"

"Do they want to meet me?" I asked nervously and he laughed.

"My mother and father adore you already and Alice is extremely envious that she hasn't gotten the chance to talk to you. If you would prefer to stay away I understand, being with others like me must be quite frightening."

"I'm not frightened," I said and he shook his head. "I'd love to see your parents again and meet the rest of your family. Your sister sounds very interesting."

"Interesting? Mm, that she is," he said, looking both amused and annoyed at the same time. "There is no one else quite like Alice."

My stomach growled and I blushed furiously. Edward chuckled and said, "Bella, you should go and get some breakfast. I need to change clothes now, but I'll be here when you're finished and we can go then if you like?"

I nodded and he kissed me once more before disappearing through the window. With a contented sigh, I flopped back onto the bed and smiled. Just a few minutes later, my mother knocked on my door.

"Isabella, I'll be out for the day and Phil is going to work at the club." She walked inside my room and sat on the edge of my bed. "Help Ms. Cope with whatever she needs to do, behave accordingly when you're in your father's company and I'm sure you'll be allowed back out soon."

"Yes, Mother," I said and when she was gone I started to rifle through my clothes.

"Dare I ask?" Ms. Cope startled me.

I turned around and saw her standing in the doorway smiling. "Edward invited me to have lunch with his parents. I didn't think you'd mind and I can be at home before my parents return I promise. I will help you with the chores-"

"There's a very pretty white dress that your mother bought for you. I'm sure that would look perfect for lunch at the Cullen house. Firstly, you must come and eat some breakfast; you went to bed last night without supper and you're only a tiny little thing as it is, you need to eat and keep up your strength." She beckoned me out of the room and I followed her. "It's strange though, Isabella, you spent the entire day with your parents yesterday and went straight to bed when we arrived home, yet somehow in those interim hours you managed to secure an invitation to Edward Cullen's house today. If I didn't know any better I'd suspect you were sneaking out of the house at all hours of the night to meet that boy."

I smiled and said truthfully, "Ms. Cope I did not leave my bedroom all night I swear. It was something Edward asked me on Saturday morning and I didn't want to involve you in any trouble should my parents discover what I was hiding."

"Isabella, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, I can handle myself. Just be careful, Philip Dwyer has been good to me but he is not a man I would want to cross and by ignoring his warnings about staying away from Edward you may make things even more difficult here in Winnetka for the boy and his family. I couldn't bear to see you hurting if they were forced to move away." She put her arm around me and we walked downstairs.

I ate my breakfast quickly and then dressed into the white dress Ms. Cope had suggested. I felt much older than sixteen and when I looked in the mirror I was surprised to see I looked older, too. I doubted it was the dress or my hair, and more to do with the fact that just being in Edward's company was allowing me to grow and mature in an entirely different way.

Phil and my mother hated my resilience and attitude, but being with Edward fed that side of me and made me feel more confident and self-assured that it was a good thing to have opinions and aspirations. Although I wanted nothing more than a future with Edward, I had no idea if that were even possible, but if it was, I also knew that I still wanted to experience life to the fullest.

I was surprised when Edward knocked at the door to collect me. Ms. Cope greeted him warmly and I ran downstairs to meet him with a huge smile fixed firmly on my face.

"Edward," I said. "What are you doing here? People may have seen you."

"I was careful," he said with a sly smile. "I wanted to thank Ms. Cope for allowing this and to assure her I will ensure discretion until we gain your father's approval."

Ms. Cope left us by the door to return to her chores and Edward held out his hand to me. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes," I said nervously, wondering if this was really such a good idea.

"Please don't worry, Bella, you'll be perfect and my family will love you." He kissed me softly and I frowned.

"I didn't think you could _hear_ me?"

"I'm beginning to understand how your mind works more and more, Bella."

* * *

**A/N More to come as soon as I can get the next chapter ready.**

**Bye for now,**

**Katy**

**xxx **


	8. Chapter 8

**I own nothing! Thanks to Prettyflour and Kitty for prereading!**

**Chapter 8**

If I was asked to describe the day spent with Edward and his family in just one word, that word would have to be surreal. I knew Dr. and Mrs. Cullen were perfectly charming and friendly when I'd met them on previous occasions but they had always kept up a perfectly guarded persona. Of course, knowing now what I did about their family I understood completely. They did have a pretence to maintain, they had to do all they could to "fit in" with the rest of the people in Winnetka, despite the fact Phil seemed to have made it his mission to have them outcast.

The Cullen home was beautiful in an elegant and understated way. It certainly wasn't the largest in the town, Phil made sure that honor was his alone, but still it eclipsed every other property in the area. The gardens were immaculately kept and the pristine white front of the house stood tall and proud amongst the backdrop of the forest.

There were no neighbours for several miles, so Edward happily held my hand as we walked to the front door and I loved the way it felt to be so open and comfortable in his company.

He stopped by the door and turned to face me, cocking his head slightly and frowning. "Your heart is racing," he murmured. "Don't be afraid, they can't wait to meet you."

"Despite the obvious complications?" I asked and he nodded.

"Esme only cares about my happiness and she knows you've given me that. The rest of my family agree entirely with her." He rested his forehead on mine and kissed the tip of my nose.

"Except for Rosalie. I'm sure she's not happy about this little visit," I corrected and he chuckled.

"Rosalie will come around," he insisted. "And my brother has already given her a stern warning to behave herself. He's just as excited about this as Alice, so he will keep her in check, I promise, Bella."

I took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay."

I stepped inside and looked around with amazement. The entire downstairs of the house had been renovated and instead of several rooms, it was now one huge open plan space. There was no stuffy, formal, drawing room like we had with uncomfortable furniture and a lingering scent of cigar smoke in the air. There were beautiful works of art hanging on the walls and the largest assortment of books I had ever seen, and standing there, by the bookcase I noticed the rest of Edward's family.

I opened my mouth to say hello, but before I could speak a pair of arms flew around my neck and Edward's sister hugged me a little too tightly.

"It's wonderful to meet you officially, Bella," Alice said happily.

"Thank you," I said, hearing the nerves in my own voice. "It was so nice of you to invite me to your home."

"Alice," Edward warned her. "We're supposed to make her feel comfortable not frighten her."

"Oh, I am sorry," she giggled. "It's easy to forget how I should act around you, Bella. You seem so at ease with my brother I assume it's the same for the rest of us."

"I don't mind at all," I reassured her. "I just didn't expect you to take to me quite as well as you appear to have done."

Esme stepped closer, at a more natural speed and clasped her hands in front of her chest with a huge smile. "Oh, Bella, sweetheart, how could we not? The difference you've made to Edward in such a short space of time is extraordinary. It's a pleasure to have you here, in fact we've been preparing lunch for you. I hope you like it—it's a Chicken Salad."

Edward sighed and looked apologetically at me. "It should be quite an experience for you, given the fact no one in this room has prepared anything suitable for humans to eat in years."

"I'm sure whatever you've prepared will be lovely," I said and this time it was Edward's brother who started to laugh.

"It's got nothing on a bit of grizzly bear." He winked and strode over, holding out his hand. "I'm Emmett."

"Hello, Emmett," I said and shook his hand, marvelling at how gentle he was despite the immense size of him. "I'm afraid I've never tasted bear, so I can't agree or disagree with you, but I'm more than happy to eat the chicken for now."

"For now," he agreed with a pointed look at Edward. "Who knows what the future holds though? I'd better stop talking, I don't think my brother appreciates the topic of conversation."

I giggled and Edward's arm snaked around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I thought at first it was a mere show of affection, but then I saw him glare at his sister with the coldest of expressions. The others saw it, too, and with a shake of her head, Rosalie turned and walked out of the room.

"Sorry about Rose," Emmett said quietly. "Let me go and talk to her, she's not the easiest of people to deal with change. She'll come around eventually, trust me."

Alice quickly tried to change the subject and introduced me to Jasper, the other boy… or man… I saw that first night in the club. He looked particularly nervous as he walked toward me, and he stopped several feet away, not reaching out to shake my hand.

"Hello, Bella," he said and smiled.

"Jasper is the newest to our… diet," Alice told me. "He's just being cautious, but I already know he isn't going to hurt you so don't feel afraid."

"Alice," Edward groaned.

Edward's father laughed and came up to me with the same sort of familiarity as Emmett had moments earlier. "Alice certainly has a way about her," he said and shook my hand. "You'll get used to her soon enough, she leaves you with little choice in the matter. Welcome to our home, Bella, I agree wholeheartedly with my wife, it's a pleasure to see the difference in Edward."

I blushed and glanced up at Edward who was smiling widely at his father. "Thank you," I mumbled shyly.

"Maybe you should show her the rest of the house while we prepare lunch?" Esme suggested and Edward agreed with a sigh of relief.

The upstairs of the house was just as spectacular as the downstairs. There was a further two floors, each with two huge bedrooms. Edward's had an amazing view of the forest, and his entire room was more like a study than a bedroom.

Books and journals filled the shelves of a floor to ceiling bookcase. There was everything from literary classics such as Pride and Prejudice to more recent titles. I ran my fingers across the spines of a few books, amazed at how one boy could ever find the time to read so much. Even without sleeping at night, I found it staggering that he could get through so many.

"So this is how you spend your evenings?" I said with a grin.

"Reading or playing the piano _used_ to occupy my time." He sat down on the converted window seat and patted a space next to him. "Now, however, I am more than happy for you to occupy as much of my time as you like."

I snuggled up against him, feeling happier and happier with every moment spent in his company. "I'd take every second of every day in your company if that was at all possible."

We sat there for a few minutes, happy to enjoy each other's company without having to fill the silence with forced conversation. I was relieved for the peace and quiet; something Edward's brother had said resonated in my mind during our conversation about chicken salad versus grizzly bear.

"_For now."_

Did his family really see me joining them? Did Edward want that for me? It wasn't difficult to see how uncomfortable that idea had been to Edward. His entire body had stiffened and the fierce look he gave his brother didn't imply he was agreeable to Emmett's suggestion.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward murmured, kissing the top of my head.

"I'm thinking about what your brother said downstairs," I told him honestly and I heard him sigh.

"I take it you're not thinking about the difference in taste between chicken and bear and the obvious reference he made about your future?" He stood up and walked over to the other side of the room.

"Yes," I admitted and watched him carefully. He turned to face me with such a pained expression on his face. "Do you not want that?"

"For whom?" he asked and I frowned. "Because my answer would change significantly if I was answering for me or for you."

"What do you mean?" I stood and walked straight over to him.

"This is not a life, Bella, merely an existence. How could I ever wish it upon anyone?"

"And what difference exactly is there between the life I live now and the live I _could_ live with you?" I folded my arms across my chest. "As it stands now, I have overbearing parents who want to mould my future in accordance to what they think is suitable. If I stood by and let them, I would end up spending my days stuck at home alone and my nights at the same mundane clubs filled with people I have no interest in talking to. With you, Edward, I feel like there is a future I _want _a part of."

"Bella," he said and groaned. "You don't understand the sacrifices you'll have to make… the things you'll miss out on and I cannot and will not be the one to take those away from you."

"So what does that mean?" I asked, almost scared to hear what his response was. Did he not want me like I wanted him? Was I a way to pass a few months of his time… a novelty?

He held my face in his hands and looked at me intensely. "It means we make it work for us. It means I get to share your life with you as a human."

I pulled a face and snorted. "And when I get old?" He shrugged and I looked at him in disbelief. "You really mean that you are going to stay with me when I'm an elderly woman? You as a seventeen year old boy and me as a sixty year old woman?"

He nodded and looked deathly serious. "I will let you live out your life, Bella, because that way I know I'm not risking your soul… your chance at heaven or whatever awaits us after we die."

I shook my head and stepped away. "This is not exactly how I envisioned this conversation, Edward, and I honestly don't know how to react to what you've told me. How can I possibly _be with you_ like you expect when I'll resemble your grandmother and not your girlfriend? Maybe we can discuss this another time?"

"Yes, that is probably for the best." He chuckled. "I suspect you have a lot more to say on the matter."

"A lot more," I agreed. "And I won't let you make all the decisions, Edward, whatever happens we will both decide. It's my future too, you have to respect that."

He smiled. "I love your determination."

"I think after we discuss this again, my determination may not be such an attractive quality."

*SIFY*

Lunch was delicious, despite Edward's warnings otherwise. I was surprised when Esme and Carlisle insisted on joining me at the table, even starting to eat, themselves.

"You really don't have to," I told them. "I know the food doesn't sustain or provide you with any nutrition."

"We just wanted to make you more comfortable," Edward told me as he pushed the food around on the plate. "My mother didn't want you to be the only one sitting at the table eating."

Esme smiled in admittance and I laughed. "Really, I insist. The food is delicious, and maybe you could tell me about your past while I eat?"

She beamed and pushed her plate to one side, her husband following suit. Within minutes, Alice and Emmett sat down with us. Jasper hovered in the room, maintaining his distance, but Rosalie was nowhere to be seen.

"You were there for Edward when he was sick?" I asked and she nodded sadly.

"Yes, it was such a frightening reminder of my own family's demise," she said. "I was originally from New Orleans, and during my final years as a human there was a terrible outbreak of Smallpox. Somehow, I never contracted the disease, but I had to care for my husband and son while they were sick, and tragically they never recovered. I was so terribly lost and wanted to be with them once again. But still the disease never came for me, and I became so bitterly angry. That's why I tried to kill myself."

She spoke to casually and so calmly about her attempted suicide and it shocked me so much I spluttered on a piece of food, and Emmett burst out laughing.

"I'm sorry, I forget how shocking that revelation is," Esme told me sheepishly. "It seems so natural to me now. I was lost and alone and I jumped into the Mississippi River. I thought I would surely drown because I couldn't swim a single stroke. I remember very little about my time in the water, but someone pulled me out. Carlisle was in New Orleans at the time and he was there when found me, and… well you know what I became. I'm extremely fortunate to have my family now; Edward is such an important part of that and now so are you."

Carlisle held her hand over the table and smiled. Edward clearly wanted to divert the subject away from anything future related, and said to his father, "Maybe she'd like to hear your tale, Carlisle?"

"Well, I was born in England many, many years ago. My father owned a lot of land and had scores of people in his employ, so my upbringing was certainly very good in comparison to the other people in the village. As I became older, I had to care for my mother who lost the use of her legs and I found I was partial to the role of caregiver and expressed an interest in pursuing it as a career." Carlisle smiled and added, "As do you I hear from my son?"

I nodded and he said, "It's very rewarding, Bella, I hope you can achieve it. Unfortunately, I never got to even discuss it with my father. During my last summer as a human, several of the villagers were killed by what we thought was an animal. We tried to hunt it, catch it, kill it… but never even caught a glimpse. People were killed in their homes, out working in the fields and there was not one witness. The local priest began talking of a demon and the entire village was gripped by fear. Each night we would try to find the beast and each night we returned home empty handed. It was on my way back home after one night of hunting that the beast found me. I remember very little about the rest of the night, other than I was in extreme pain, but when it finally subsided and I realized what I'd become I knew I had to leave. My family were already grieving the loss of a son so I slipped away and never returned."

I listened eagerly, hearing the different stories was fascinating. As much as the experiences of Esme and Edward must have been frightening, I couldn't begin to understand how it was for Carlisle. He had been completely alone with no idea what to do or what he was.

"I was ashamed of what I had become and tried in vain to end my second life, all to no avail obviously. It was after several weeks of denying my thirst, that I gave thought to an alternative diet and I've lived that way ever since."

"Carlisle has the most unwavering self-control," Edward told me. "It's because of that self-control that he was finally able to become a doctor and help people. He's been a wonderful inspiration to us all."

I watched as the others nodded in unison, wholeheartedly agreeing with Edward. The unity of the family was touching, despite the fact they were supposedly soulless monsters they obviously loved each other dearly and put my relationship with my parents to shame. With every passing second, I knew that being a part of Edward's family would bring me something I'd never experienced, the chance to be the person I wanted to be. Even now, they allowed me to be _me_ without judgement and without the need to insist on telling me how to live my life.

**SIFY**

I reluctantly returned home with Edward with just minutes to spare before my parents were due back. Ms. Cope was pacing in the kitchen when I walked inside and breathed a huge sigh of relief.

"Goodness, Miss. Isabella, where on earth have you been?" she asked and hurried me upstairs to change. "If your parents had caught you, there would be hell to pay."

"Sorry, I just didn't want to come home," I told her. "I've had such a wonderful time."

"Well, that's nice." She helped me out of my dress and into something more appropriate for a girl who was supposed to have spent the day doing chores. "But please mind your behaviour when your parents come home. If they see you smiling like that… well it's safe to assume they'll know you haven't spent the day cleaning the floors."

"I'll try, but Edward is just so perfect," I breathed. "His family were polite and welcoming. I could have stayed there and never returned."

"Listen, I know it seems like a lifetime away, Isabella, but as soon as you're eighteen you can do as you please. If you were to do anything careless with the boy now and Phil discovered it… well he could make life even more difficult for the Cullen family." She looked at me sternly. "If Edward Cullen is as perfect as you think he is, then he will be more than happy to wait for you. Please, Isabella, be careful."

"Do you want me to help with dinner?" I asked, and she nodded. "And I will be careful, Ms. Cope. But, the problem I have is simple, Edward or no Edward, the thought of living under this roof for another year seems torturous to me. I don't want someone to control me, dictate to me, or to try and manipulate me and Phil insists on doing just that. I can't stand it any longer, I can't stand being here."

It seemed that wherever I was, whoever I was with, someone was always trying to tell me what to do or not do. Even Edward, to a certain extent was attempting to do the same by refusing to consider my choice for my future.

Despite our conversation earlier in the day, he hadn't succeeded in changing my mind. I had the same thoughts running around and around in my head ever since I discovered Edward's true identity. I knew I wanted a future with him, whatever that may entail, but I also knew that I didn't want a future with me as an ageing woman with my eternally youthful boyfriend by my side.

So, when I saw Edward in my room later that same evening, I told him exactly what I wanted.

"I want to be like you, Edward."

* * *

**Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! You guys are really all kinds of awesome!**

**More to come as soon as I write the next chapter!**

**Take care,**

**Katy**

**xxx**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks to Kitty and Prettyflour for prereading! **

**I own nothing of course.**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

_Wh__en I saw Edward in my room later that same evening, I told him exactly what I wanted._

_"I want to be like you, Edward."_

*SIFY*

"Bella," Edward groaned. "Not this, please."

"Listen, Edward," I said sternly. "You've given me your reasons why the way you live is not the something you'd choose for _me_, but to me there is only one reason why I know it is right. I love you, and I know many will say it is nothing more than a young girl's infatuation with a boy she cannot have, but I know better. If you turned and walked away from me right now I know with absolute certainty that never in my life would I ever feel about anyone else, the way I feel about you."

As I spoke Edward's face softened. I noticed a smile play on the corner of his mouth so I continued to say my piece. "Imagine I stayed as I am… what life could I expect here in Winnetka? Phil has tried to control my every move recently and I cannot think of anything worse than having to tolerate that for much longer. I know what I want and you cannot change my mind, Edward. Please at least consider?"

He held my face in his hands and kissed me lightly. "Isabella Swan, how can I refuse you after hearing that?"

"So it's a yes?" I asked, but to my confusion he shook his head. "It's a no?"

"It's not a no, Bella," he murmured. "It's a yes with a few terms."

"What terms?" I eyed him suspiciously.

"I know you say that you're sure of your decision, Bella, and I do not doubt your sincerity at this very moment." He sat down on the bed, pulling me into his lap. "However, like it or not, you are sixteen and the only life you know is here in Winnetka. What about your career in nursing? What about going out into the world and experiencing different things?"

I scowled. "Carlisle is a doctor and your family have been all over the world I'm sure. One thing I've discovered about you, Edward, is the sheer normality that accompanies such an abnormal existence. I can experience the things I want, and I want to experience them with you."

"Bella, this life as you see it takes practice. We had to spend years and years controlling the most basic of desires, ignoring the thirst and learning how to act like a human. You would have to wait a long time before living like this was a possibility." He brought my hand to his mouth and kissed it softly, before turning it over and running his nose up and down my wrist with the merest of touches. "To be like this with you would have been a very different outcome had I attempted it immediately after my change. There was no way I could kiss you, touch you, breathe you like this without hurting you… killing you."

My eyelids fluttered as he moved his face to my throat, this time kissing every inch of exposed skin. His ice cold breath sent shivers of pleasure down my spine and I moaned involuntarily.

Edward pulled away and smiled. "Can we discuss my terms now?"

"I agree to listen to your terms, that's all," I told him.

"You will be seventeen soon, Bella. I ask you to give me a year here in Winnetka, and then a year out in the world doing whatever you like—as a human. I want to do things right with you because you have an opportunity none of my family did. You have the choice to decide your fate. Finish your home schooling, spend time with your mother, stepfather, and friends. Make sure that your decision to walk away forever is the right one before it's too late to go back." He laughed as I scoffed. "I know Phil is overbearing but maybe when you are an adult your relationship could change?"

"So what happens when I'm eighteen?" I asked.

"Whatever you please," he said with a wide smile. "I will take you wherever you want to go so you can see whatever you choose to see. If you want to travel overseas I will help make that happen for you. I want you to experience things in this life, Bella, as much as possible, because you can't get the chance again."

I thought about what he said for a second. If I waited, the only thing that would change would be my age. I would be nineteen… still so young in comparison to Esme and Carlisle when they were changed. "What about you and me, Edward? What will our relationship be?"

"I'll be whatever you want me to be, but I admit I would be rather partial to calling you my wife." I gasped and he laughed. "Look at your reaction! You want me to condemn you to eternity as my mate, yet the idea of being my wife is frightening to you?"

"Not frightening at all. You just took me by surprise," I said. "What if I change my mind and want to stay human? I won't of course, just humor me."

"If that was your decision then I would stay with you for as long as was physically possible. If you wanted to stay human without me at your side, then I would let you live a normal life." His hold on me tightened slightly. "I love you, Bella, and for that reason making sure you are happy and safe will always be my number one priority—whatever sacrifices I have to make in order to make that happen."

I smiled, feeling elated that he'd actually agreed to this... to me becoming like him. I knew it wasn't a simple choice and I knew that there would be consequences to my decision, but I would deal with that later. Right now I was going to enjoy just being with Edward and discovering more about myself and who Isabella Swan really was.

"Okay," I said, my smile growing wider and wider. "I agree to your terms, Edward."

"You will?" he asked. "Well, I thought your stubbornness would have made that discussion much more difficult."

"We came to a compromise." I looked up at him. "And I'm not _that_ stubborn. I just know what I want, Edward. You."

I was lying on the bed with Edward hovering over me before I even finished speaking. He grinned at my shocked expression and placed a tender kiss on my lips. "And I want you, Miss. Swan."

My heart began to drum in my chest as I tried to figure out in exactly what context he was talking. "You do? I want you t-t-too, Edward," I stammered and craned my head up to kiss him. My lips had barely brushed against his when he groaned, and rolled onto his back, covering his eyes with his arm.

"Bella," he said with a long exaggerated sigh. "We've talked about this."

"I just thought you meant… never mind," I said and bit down on my lip.

"Look at me," he said, tilting my head up so he could meet my eye. "When and if you decide your future lies with me I promise you there will be nothing we can't do together. I just can't… not now, not while you're human."

"Okay," I replied, not entirely surprised with his response.

"Bella?"

"Mm?"

"Are you upset with me?"

"No."

I heard him sigh. "Yes you are."

"No, I was just thinking."

"About?"

"Practice makes perfect." I felt my cheeks redden and I was thankful for the darkness of my bedroom. "I thought that if we took things really slowly… if we were extra careful then you never know, we could do that, too."

"I don't know…" Edward trailed off, staring at me intently. I could only see the faintest outline of his face in the dark, but I could feel his eyes burning into me, searching for something. "What if I hurt you?"

"What if you didn't?" I pressed, letting my hands drift up and down his chest and stomach slowly. "What if it was the most perfect, perfect moment?" I contemplated trying to open one or two buttons on his shirt, but didn't want him to think I was too forward.

Edward placed his hand over mine, closing his fingers around it and slowly raising it to his mouth. "Bella," he murmured, kissing each of my fingertips. "I seem unable to deny you anything, but…"

"I hate buts," I grumbled and he laughed.

"Let's just take things slowly for now. Imagine you and I were courting and I was seeking your father's approval. It's bad enough I spend each night with you alone in your bedroom without his permission, I would rather keep one area of our relationship proper… for now at least." He continued to kiss my fingers, and even that simplest, most innocent of gestures had my entire body alight with sensations and feelings that had only come to the surface after Edward appeared in my life.

"For now," I whispered and he nodded. "Okay. I'll try to be patient, _for now."_

"It's almost your birthday. Have you given any thought to what gift you would like from me?" he asked.

"I suppose spending an entire weekend with you is out of the question?" I said.

"I think that may be difficult, yes." He paused before adding, "Is that something you would want if I could make it happen?"

I nodded vigorously. "I couldn't think of anything I'd rather have. We could go to New York and maybe even see a performance on Broadway. It's somewhere I've always wanted to go, but so far not had the opportunity. I suppose that is one of the things we could do when I turn eighteen?"

"Whatever you want, Bella." He grinned. "But what about your seventeenth birthday?"

"Really, there is nothing I can think of, Edward. As long as I spend as much time with you as I can, I'll be as content as could be."

*SIFY*

"Do you like it, Darling?" my mother asked eagerly as I looked at the new dress I'd been given for my birthday. "I bought it on my last visit to the city and spared no expense. I think it will suit you just beautifully, you can wear it tonight when we celebrate your special day."

I forced a smile. The dress was really pretty, but the idea of spending the entire night with the soul destroying people at the club was utterly depressing. The punishment imposed on me after the evening I went to Chicago had yet to be lifted, so I had hoped a nice dinner with my parents would have sufficed, but apparently not.

I knew pretending to be ill would not work this time, and I also knew that should Edward and his family turn up at the club, whether it be invited or uninvited, there would be no way my father would permit me to dance with him as he had done before. Although, with Phil's influence in this town, I doubted very much they were welcome anywhere anymore.

"We will need to leave around six, Isabella," Phil said.

"That's much earlier than usual?" I mused. "Are we not going to the club tonight?"

My mother laughed and clapped her hands. "Absolutely not, Isabella. Your father and I have been talking about your recent escapade to Chicago. We feel that maybe, in trying to keep you safe here in Winnetka, we haven't allowed you to really experience life in other places. So, we are all spending the evening together in Chicago. Phil has managed to secure the most wonderful present."

I looked over at Phil who looked extremely pleased with himself. "Tonight, there is a very special screening of a new movie called _The Maltese Falcon._ Its official release date isn't until next month, however, they have invited just a select number of people to view it in private tonight at the Royal in Chicago. I am especially good friends with the owner of the theatre, so naturally, we were invited to attend."

"Oh, goodness," I said, hoping I sounded appreciative. "Thank you, that is wonderful."

"These are just a few of the benefits to a life such as this, Isabella," Phil said. "Plan your future well and you, too, can expect to enjoy the finer things."

Great, my birthday "present" was actually just another way for him to show off and try to instil into me, the mind set to be a sheep and follow the money and power for the rest of my life. Did he really think a private viewing of a movie would be enough to sell a lifestyle to me? Did he really think me that shallow and narrow minded?

I decided not to become embroiled in another argument about what I planned to do with _my _ life and instead smiled politely, thanking him once again and insisting I was looking forward to it immensely.

"We're having dinner with Phil's friend before the preview, so please mind your behaviour, Darling. I would hate for you to embarrass your father in prestigious company," my mother told me and I rolled my eyes.

"Of course not, Mother," I said. "Would it be okay if I went for a walk on the beach? It is still a nice day and I would love to spend some time outside."

"Be back before three," Phil said sternly. "Birthday or no birthday you are still earning back our trust and we do need to leave early. I'll have Ms. Cope assist you as soon as you return."

"Thank you," I said happily and skipped to the door. I saw Ms. Cope waiting with a jacket and I giggled. "Were you listening?"

"I was curious," she whispered. "I heard your parents discussing the plans for your birthday and wondered what your reaction would be. You seemed happier with the permission to go outside than you did your gift."

I nodded. "I actually wish they would go to the club as they usually do. I won't get to see Edward until tomorrow now and I was hoping to spend some time with him tonight."

Ms. Cope shook her head. "That boy must be very special."

"He really is."

I let her help me with my jacket and then all but ran to the beach. Instead of walking in the surf, I headed straight for the tree line, knowing that Edward would be there. I didn't need to call out or even search for him, because the second I was out of sight he appeared right before me.

"Edward," I said and threw my arms around his neck. "I missed you."

"It has seemed like a long morning without you," he murmured, kissing my neck. "And now I won't get to spend the evening _alone_ with you."

"Between you and Ms. Cope, I doubt any conversation the Dwyer household goes unheard," I said and he chuckled. "I would much rather be with you than go to this screening. "

"It will be a very special experience," he told me and I scoffed. "Really, Bella, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. I hear even the star of the movie will attend."

"How do you know that?" I asked, pulling back to look at him. He was grinning smugly. "Edward?"

"Let's just say that it isn't only Phil who has friends in high places." He winked at me and I gasped.

"Will you be there?"

He nodded and I squealed with delight. "We need to play it very carefully, Bella. My father is acquainted with the owner of the theatre and after Phil decided to try and impress you for your birthday, Alice may have persuaded Carlisle to call in a favor with the owner."

"Oh my, Edward, that is just amazing. I am so excited. That is the best birthday present I could have wished for." I stood tall on my toes and kissed him. "Thank you."

"That isn't actually your gift, Bella," he said. "I took the liberty of leaving you a little something beneath your pillow after Ms. Cope made up your bed this morning."

"You are too wonderful," I breathed and kissed him again.

This time Edward kissed me back passionately. His hands held my face firmly and his body pressed up to mine, backing me against a tree. I held onto his sides, happy for him to take the lead because I honestly had no idea if I should be pushing him. Ever since our talk, he had remained insistent about taking things slowly, but even I had noticed a difference in the way he kissed and held me.

My breath was shaky and I moaned as he caught my bottom lip in his mouth and sucked it gently, before kissing me again. The coldness of his touch against my flaming hot skin felt almost erotic, and my mind was awash with images of our naked bodies pressed together. I allowed my fingers to untuck his shirt and slip beneath the fabric, lightly tracing the sides of his chest with my fingertips. This time it was Edward who moaned, equally as affected as I was. Feeling particularly brave, I reached around his back and held onto him, trying to pull him even closer if that were possible. Edward didn't react at first, nothing seemed to interrupt this moment, but then just like that, he was gone.

The action was so sudden I almost stumbled forward and when I opened my eyes I expected to see him a few feet away, apologizing for getting carried away, but instead he was facing away from me, crouching and looking into the distance at something I couldn't see. I was just about to ask him what was wrong, when he snarled, similar to the night in Chicago, but this time in the most terrifying way.

Again I looked in front of him and there in the trees, I saw a dark shape beginning to emerge. I kept my eyes glued to its form, trying to work out what it was exactly, but the more I saw the more frightened I became. It was animal, of that I was sure, but its sheer size was like nothing else I'd ever seen. The fur was the darkest of black and as it neared I saw it had the same characteristics as a wolf. I could hear a growl emanating from it; echoing in the air, and its top lip was curled up, revealing huge teeth. I almost couldn't see the eyes; they were so incredibly black… it truly looked like something seen only in a nightmare.

"Edward," I whispered, my voice shaking for entirely different reasons now.

"Run, Bella," he hissed.

"What about you?" I protested, taking a step closer to him.

"Go, Bella, straight home."

"But-"

"Now!" he said it with such a tone to his voice I didn't dare argue.

I nodded once, and keeping my eyes on the beast I began to back away, not daring to turn around and run until it was almost out of sight. I saw Edward take a few steps closer to it, trying to shield my retreat from its line of sight.

I continued to walk backwards, paying no attention to the ground when all of a sudden I was stumbling. My foot had caught in a branch and I spun around trying to right myself. I snatched around me, but there was no time to stop and I hit my head hard against a tree stump and fell into a heap.

Dazed and disoriented it took me a few seconds to gather my bearings and stand up. When I did I felt a trickle of warmth down my forehead and I touched it tentatively with my fingers. I winced as I did, and then I saw the blood.

"Ow," I whispered and placed my hand over the tender spot, trying to stem the bleeding. I was so distracted with my fall I had all but forgotten why I had been running in the first place. A vicious roar reminded me and I spun around to see the beast approaching me, now in between Edward and me.

"Edward!" I screamed and looked around frantically for him.

The animal roared again and I saw it turn back to face away from me, its head low as if it was hunting and ready to strike. When I saw what it was in fact _hunting_, I was frozen to the spot. Its eyes were fixed firmly on Edward, but he didn't even seem to notice. Instead, he was staring straight at me, a look in his eye that I had never seen before. It was dark, intimidating, and in truth I didn't know who to fear the most—him or the beast.

"Edward," I said nervously. His hands were balled in fists at his side, and it looked as though his entire body was shaking. "Edward."

He took the smallest step to the left and the beast covered his movement, shielding me from him. I didn't move an inch. I had no idea what to do. My mind was screaming at me to run, but my heart was begging me not to leave Edward alone with the monster in front of me.

I lifted my foot, ready to take a step forward but again the animal roared loudly, almost hurting my ears with the noise and I put my foot back down quickly. Edward didn't take his eyes from me, he seemed oblivious to all else around him.

"Edward," I said, almost crying with sheer fright. "What's wrong?"

I reached forward with both hands; instantly removing the pressure from my wound, allowing more blood to run down my face and then I saw it, the faintest of twitches in Edward's posture and I breathed a sigh of relief. I was about to take another step, when all of a sudden I was falling backwards, pain coursing through my chest. I hit the ground with another thud, and saw nothing but a blur in front of me accompanied by a chorus of growls and yelps.

"Bella!" I heard a frantic voice in my ear and the face of Carlisle Cullen came into view and was the last thing I saw before everything went black.

* * *

**A/N Yeah, sorry about that ending! Apparently I'm a cliffiequeen ;) At the moment I'll probably be posting every second Wednesday... at least until I have more chapters in reserve!**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing I absolutely love reading them… completely makes my day!**

**Bye for now,**

**Katy**

**xx**


	10. Chapter 10

**Huge thanks to Kitty & Pretty Flour for prereading :D I own nothing.**

**Chapter 10**

I opened my eyes, completely expecting to be in my bed, waking up from a terrifying nightmare. At first I thought this was indeed the case. I was in a bed—my bed, my head was on my pillow, and the room was indeed my own. However, I saw three people staring at me and I immediately felt the pain in my chest again and my head, too, was pounding.

"Oh, Isabella, sweetheart, are you okay?" My mother was at my side, with Ms. Cope standing behind her, looking on at me in relief. "I've been so worried."

"What happened?" I asked, not daring to mention the events I remembered.

"You took a fall in the woods," she told me. "Dr. Cullen and his daughter, Alice were out walking and found you dazed and alone. You're fine though, darling, don't worry."

"What about…" I began to ask panic-stricken about Edward. But, despite my worries, I stopped myself. Phil had made it clear I was to stay away from him and I didn't want to get Edward into any more trouble. "I tripped on a branch I think."

"All is well, Isabella, I promise." Dr. Cullen stepped forward with a kind smile on his face, and I understood he wasn't referring to only me. I took a relaxing breath as he continued, "I think it was the shock of the fall that made you faint. You have a cut on your head and likely some bruised ribs, Isabella. The cut was quite deep and I needed to put in a few stitches I'm afraid, there's a dressing in place to keep it sterile."

I reached up and pulled a face as I felt the thick bandage on my forehead.

"Don't worry about the scar," my mother told me. "Your hair will disguise it, I promise."

"Okay," I croaked. "What time is it?"

"A little after three in the afternoon," my mother said and then turned to Dr. Cullen. "We are supposed to be taking her out for the evening, it's her birthday today you see. Will that have to be rearranged?"

"No!" I said quickly, remembering Edward and his family would also be there and I desperately needed to see him. "It was such a special gift, Dr. Cullen. I really don't want to miss that opportunity, please?"

"If the girl wants to go, then the girl can go." Phil appeared in the doorway to my room. "She's fine. Thank you for your help, Dr. Cullen, but we can take care of her now."

"Of course. Just keep the dressing clean," Dr. Cullen said quietly, almost sadly. "Goodbye, Isabella, and happy birthday. It's such a shame it had to happen like this."

I frowned as I watched him leave the room, thinking it an odd thing to say. Nobody else seemed concerned with it, but it left a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach and I had no idea why.

"May I rest for a little while?" I asked my mother. "Just for half an hour or so and then Ms. Cope can help me get ready for our evening out?"

"Of course, darling. I'll be just downstairs if you need me." My mother squeezed my hand and walked over to Phil. "What are we going to do with you, Isabella? You are so accident prone, it's almost concerning."

I nodded and closed my eyes, waiting until I heard the door close before reopening them. I listened until I heard nothing outside my door and quickly looked under my pillow, but there was nothing there.

"Are you looking for this?" I jumped and saw Ms. Cope standing in the now open doorway. She was holding a small box in her hand. "I came upstairs to get your bed ready when Dr. Cullen first brought you home and found this under your pillow. A gift from young Edward?"

I nodded and she brought it over to me. "I didn't open it of course, but I thought it best that your mother not find it."

"Thank you," I said and took it from her.

"What on earth happened, Isabella?" she asked. "I thought the worst when Dr. Cullen arrived and I saw you like that."

"I met Edward in the woods and took a fall. You know me, Ms. Cope, I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking. I assume Edward took me to his house and then Dr. Cullen brought me here so I wouldn't get into more trouble for spending time with him." I hoped I sounded convincing.

"You need to be more careful," she scolded. "I shudder to think what might have happened."

_So do I._

I smiled and opened the box slowly and inside was a beautiful heart-shaped crystal. The light in my room immediately reflected on the stone, casting shimmers onto the walls of my room. I saw a folded piece of paper in the box and opened it.

_Bella _

_Like mine, this heart is cold and hard but your love brings warmth to me that words cannot describe. Now and always, they both belong to you and you alone._

_Happy birthday._

_Always yours,_

_Edward_

I folded the paper quickly and held it to my chest. "Isn't it beautiful?" I said and turned the box around to show Ms. Cope.

"That is rather special," she said.

"I just wish I had something to put it on, so I could wear it." I sighed. "It seems a waste to keep it hidden in a box."

"I have just the thing for you," Ms. Cope said and left my room for a minute before coming back with an entwined leather band in her hand. "I made this for my husband while he was away and never got to give it to him. Here, I want you to have it."

"I couldn't possibly take this-" I began to say and she shook her head.

"Nonsense. What good is it sitting unused? Take it, please, Isabella." She helped me put the heart onto the strap and then tied it on my wrist. "There, see. Beautiful. Should your parents ask where it came from, you can tell them I gave it to you. It's only a small deviation from the truth."

"Thank you," I said and gave her a hug. "Ms. Cope?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Edward and his family are going to the Royal tonight. Dr. Cullen knows the owner just like Phil, and managed to secure an invitation." I smiled sheepishly and Ms. Cope laughed. "Will you help me hide this awful thing?" I pointed to the dressing on my head and she nodded. "I want it to be perfect."

"Of course. First of all you need to wash up and clean those scrapes on your hands. Let me go and draw you a bath. I'll call you when it's ready." She scurried from the room and I lay back on the bed, ignoring the dull ache of my ribs.

I still had no idea what happened in the woods or what the beast actually was. I tried not to give too much thought to the Edward I saw in the moments before I fell for the second time. There was such darkness to him and that same feeling of dread ran through me again. Carlisle had given me word that Edward was safe, and I assumed that Carlisle had not been alone in the woods when he came to my rescue.

Last time I was in trouble, Alice had foreseen what would happen and sent Emmett and Jasper along with Carlisle to help. But what had she seen exactly?

"Time for your bath," Ms. Cope called out and I tried to clear my mind of the afternoon's events for now. I would have plenty of time to discuss them with Edward later.

*SIFY*

Ms. Cope did manage to hide the ugly dressing on my head and the new dress my mother had bought me was very pretty and despite the pain from my ribs, I was happy. Ms Cope thought I looked much older than my seventeen years but I thought that was most certainly a good thing.

I pretended to sleep on the drive to Chicago, telling my mother I still felt a little drowsy. It gave me time to rehearse in my mind how I would react when Edward and his family appeared at the theater. I almost laughed out loud when I pictured Phil's face. He would not be happy at all.

I kept quiet for the most part during dinner. I heard my mother tell the other guests an elaborate version of my accident earlier. A simple stumble in the forest had turned into an almost fatal fall had it not been for a family friend who also happened to be a doctor.

As was always the case with friends of my parents, the conversation was dull. It seemed more like an attempt by Phil to boast about his wealth and the number of successful businesses the Dwyer family now owned.

I did my best to drown out the incessant chatter, but time passed by much slower than I would have liked. Finally, it was time to enter the theater and feelings of both fear and excitement stirred in me as the prospect of seeing Edward again drew closer.

We were escorted into the screening room and took our seats near to the front. My mother played the adoring wife as she was introduced to the director and several of the actors. I smiled politely, but none of it interested me. I kept my eyes on the doorway, waiting for Edward to make his appearance. The minutes ticked by and soon the preview was about to begin and there was no sign of him or any of his family. I could see seven empty seats just two rows behind us so I assumed they would try to slip in quietly to avoid any scene with Phil, but much to my disappointment they were still empty when the credits began to roll at the end of the movie.

I feigned enthusiasm for the production, when in honesty I paid no attention at all. I stood quietly as we mingled with the other guests. When midnight came, I told my mother I was starting to feel unwell again, and she immediately insisted to Phil that we leave. He seemed more than happy and spent the entire journey home reiterating his earlier point that if you succeeded in life the world was your oyster.

As soon as we arrived home, Ms. Cope was waiting and my mother told her I was feeling tired again and she ushered me straight upstairs. I changed obediently into my nightdress and slipped into bed, but I knew sleep was not coming. There was something else I needed to do.

I crept out of bed as soon as she left the room and redressed. I waited patiently for my parents to retire to their bedroom and then snuck downstairs and out of the house. It was pitch black and eerily quiet but I wasn't afraid. The fear at creeping around town at such a late hour paled in comparison to the events of this afternoon.

It took me much longer than when I was with Edward, but eventually the Cullen house came into view and I began to run up to the front door. Unnecessary as it was, because the entire family would have heard my arrival, I knocked several times and even called out Edward's name but I heard and saw nothing. There were no lights on, no curtains drawn or blinds closed and even the car belonging to Carlisle was not in its usual spot outside the garage.

The earlier feeling of dread multiplied tenfold and I ran around to the back of the house looking in every window I passed. The furniture had been covered with drapes, some of the artwork had been removed from the walls and the kitchen utensils kept out for appearance sake were gone, leaving the kitchen a barren space.

"No," I cried, tears pouring down my face. "You can't have just left. You can't."

I banged on the back door loudly, crying out Edward's name over and over, begging him to answer me, but it was all in vain because really I knew they were long gone.

"Please, please, please," I wailed and sank to my knees. "I don't understand."

What had really happened in the woods? Had something terrible happened to Edward and the entire family had left as a result? I couldn't fathom why or how they could just up and leave like that. Why had Edward not told me? Why had he not taken me with him?

I stumbled onto the lawn and picked up a decorative rock used in Esme's garden, then in a move completely out of character I threw it at the glass panel on the door and jumped as it shattered. I reached through the jagged shards of glass and opened the door from the inside.

What I thought to achieve I had no idea, but I walked into the kitchen and through every single room in the house looking for something… anything to give me a clue what had really happened. I could barely see, my eyes were still full of tears, but I continued to Edward's bedroom; it was almost exactly the same as when I'd last been here. A few of the books from his collection were missing, but that was all. Even the cushions were still in place on his window seat and I curled up on it, with no idea what to do now.

Either I stopped noticing how much time was passing by or I fell asleep, because when I next opened my eyes light was pouring into the room. The cushion was wet from my tears and I sat up, ignoring the pain in my ribs, which was so much more intense than it had been yesterday.

I looked quickly around the room, praying I had imagined the awful version of events of last night, but of course I was alone in the same cold, empty room.

_Edward is really gone._

I stood up and walked over to the closet. Surprisingly there were still clothes hanging, but I could see some had been removed. I rifled through the shirts that remained and pulled one out, one he'd worn on the day I first saw him on stage at the club. I brought it to my face and inhaled, it smelled of him… what it was I had no idea, but it was all Edward.

Once again, I searched the entire house, hoping to find a clue of some sort that gave me an answer as to what was happening or where they had gone. All I found was emptiness, a few remaining items of clothing but nothing of any personal significance. To anyone else, the house would surely resemble one that had been empty for years.

I sat on the porch steps, holding the shirt over my face. "Where are you?" I chanted over and over, rocking back and forth. I had never felt so alone, so desolate and I had no idea what to do.

"They left last night before you arrived."

I looked up quickly, hoping to see a familiar face but instantly I was disappointed. Instead of seeing Edward, Alice, Carlisle, or Esme, I saw Quil Artera. The man from the beach who had tried to warn me away from Edward.

"After what happened in the forest yesterday, they left. After my fight with the young one, it seems finally they understood I was serious about protecting you." He took step closer but I jumped up and backed towards the door. "I didn't hurt him. His brothers intervened and we both escaped unscathed."

"What are you talking about? What do you know about what happened in the forest?"

"I was there to protect you," he said, stopping his approach and holding up his hands. "You don't need to fear me, they can't hurt you now."

"Who can't hurt me?" I asked. "Edward? He never once hurt me, none of them did. It was the monster, the beast that caused all of this."

"_I_ was there to protect you, I've been watching… making sure you were safe," he said slowly. "I saw you together… I could see he was losing control and so I helped."

"You… you're lyingI There was no man in that forest yesterday," I said, my voice barely more than a whisper.

"I never meant for you to get hurt, I just see in you a fragile child needing help—help that no one gave to my sister when she needed it. When you fell and cut your head, I knew what that meant for you. I knew the boy would not be able to resist and I was right. He attacked you… he tried to kill you. In trying to stop him I knocked you over and for that I am sorry, but I had to keep you safe."

He sounded genuine, but the man standing in front of me was exactly that, just a man. I was sure with every part of me, that I had not imagined the animal yesterday.

"I told you already, there was no man in the forest yesterday. That… thing was a monster!" I cried and he shook his head.

"I told you about my family history when we first talked. That is what we do… we change forms when it is needed to protect others. We hurt no one; we only hunt the cold ones."

I shook my head, none of this made any sense. Edward would never hurt me, never and yet this man insisted on it.

"I know you don't believe me now," he said softly. "I know you had feelings for the boy, but I lie not. He may have had good intentions but he is the monster and had I not intervened you would not have survived. Think about it, you saw him… I saw the fear on your face as you looked at him."

"No," I said, weakly. "He wouldn't…"

"It was the blood, as soon as he smelled the blood his instincts took over. Why else do you think they left? They realized the risks they were taking and left."

"They wanted to keep me safe? Is that why they left?"

He laughed and shook his head. "Of course not. They knew suspicions were high in this town anyway. I made sure of that when I spoke to your father. I explained that the Cullen's were surrounded by scandal and he believed me, passing word onto everyone he could."

"You told Phil… that is why he forbade me from seeing Edward?" I seethed. "Why couldn't you leave well enough alone? It was none of your business."

"Do you not remember what happened to my sister?" he asked angrily. "I make it my business that no one else suffers at their hands. They did not leave to keep you safe, they left to save themselves. They knew the second he tried to hurt you that they could not stay. Cold ones are incapable of love, don't try and convince yourself otherwise."

"Get off this property," I shouted. "Leave this instant or I will tell the police _you_ broke into the house. I am the daughter of Philip Dwyer; I think my word will have more influence than yours. Now leave."

He nodded once and turned and walked away, and as soon as he was out of sight, I fell to the floor.

Edward and his family _had_ left and not for me. Was every word and touch a lie? I looked at my wrist and saw the crystal heart dangling and I resisted the urge to snap it off.

Had I been a fool to believe that someone like Edward Cullen could ever be satisfied with an ordinary human girl like me? Had I been nothing more than a distraction to him during their spell in Winnetka? Did the man speak the truth about the events that took place yesterday? Had Edward really attacked me?

The questions went around and around in my head and I had no answers. I was still sitting on the porch hours later, no closer to resolution. The only thing I knew without doubt, whatever the reasons behind the time we spent together I would not sacrifice a second of it. The only things I knew were real and true now were my feelings for him. I had never felt more comfortable with who I was then when I was with Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen, the boy who in a matter of weeks turned my whole universe upside down. Loving Edward had forever changed me and now there was no going back.

**I know I pulled a New Moon on you… sorry! I know what I'm doing though I swear.**

**Thanks for reading guys, love you to bits!**

**Bye,**

**Katy**

**xxx**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you all for sticking with me during this not so nice time... remember, you trust me though!**

**Thanks also to Prettyflour and Kitty for their help with this chapter. All mistakes are mine!**

**Chapter 11**

Seconds, minutes, hours… I had no idea how long I had been sitting on the porch and I didn't care. The crushing pain I felt in _his_ absence was crippling and I found the only way to deal with it was to hide inside my own mind; imagining none of it was real and I was back in the woods kissing him before the beast appeared.

I imagined that _he_ had made an appearance at the Royal and had managed to charm Phil and gain his blessing. The scenes that unfolded in my mind were beautiful, perfect, dream-like scenarios that evaporated the second I allowed reality to creep back inside my head.

I rocked back and forth, my arms wrapped tightly around my chest trying to somehow ease the pain… the agony I felt. It wasn't anything I could begin to describe—it was like part of me had died, like my heart had been ripped from my body. I had no tears left to cry, but still I was sobbing; and it was in this state that my parents found me.

I heard the crunch of the tyres on the gravel driveway and for the briefest moment I was filled with a hope that _he _had come back for me, that Quil Artera had been wrong. I looked up expectantly and the second I saw the familiar car of my parents, the pain came back with such a force it almost took my breath away.

My mother was out of the car before it had even stopped and she ran to my side, a look of hysteria on her face.

"Isabella, oh thank goodness, I've been beside myself with worry." She knelt down on the porch beside me and held me tightly against her body. "When Ms. Cope told us you weren't in your room this morning I thought you'd snuck out to the beach… but then you didn't come home and no one had seen or heard from you."

She pulled away and held my face, studying me and shook her head. "Please tell me what happened, please, Isabella. Why are you so upset?"

"He left," I croaked, my throat ached and my entire body was shaking as I tried not to think about what had happened. "He left."

"Who?" she asked.

"The Cullen's," Phil told her. "They packed up and left in the early hours—no one knows why. I told you they were not to be trusted, I told Isabella to stay away, but clearly she disregarded that and now look at her."

"Not now," my mother said sharply. "She's distraught and we need to get her home. I have no idea how long she's been here, but we need to get a doctor to see her."

Phil agreed and he and my mother helped me to my feet and towards the car. As I took each step further away from the house the pain and emptiness only intensified further, as though my body was screaming at me to stay… to be somewhere I knew he had been. Somewhere that I had been with him without any interruption or fear of discovery.

"No!" I cried, trying to pull myself free of my mother's hold and back to the house. "No, please, I can't leave… I can't leave him."

"Isabella, please darling come with us. He's gone, they're all gone. Please, come with me. You need to see a doctor, I'm worried about you. Whatever happened is done now, staying here will only make it worse. You need to go home and be somewhere safe and warm." She refused to let me go and all but dragged me to the car. "Don't do this."

I grew more and more hysterical and began kicking and screaming, I couldn't leave. I _had _to stay; leaving meant leaving _him _behind and dealing with the realisation this was the truth and I had lost him. "No! Get off me!" I felt my foot strike her knee and then I heard her cry out in pain. As soon as she let go of me I made a run back to the house, but Phil wrapped his arms around my waist and stopped me.

All the kicking and fighting had little impact on him and he wrestled me into the car. My mother climbed into the back, trying desperately to console me as Phil turned the car around and drove away. I cried and cried tearless sobs as the Cullen house grew smaller and smaller until eventually it disappeared, somehow taking with it every last ounce of hope I had.

"Please, please, let me go back. I need to go back… I need to be near him, please, Mother, I'm begging you. What if he comes back? Please, please, please," I begged, holding onto her arms.

She said nothing, but her eyes were filled with tears and had I been more composed I would have seen a side to her that had never made itself known before. She looked heartbroken, frightened, and haunted all rolled into one.

"Sssh," she said over and over again, pulling me against her once more. She stroked my face and hair trying to soothe me. "Ssh, Isabella. I'm so sorry, so, so sorry."

Her tears ran onto my hair and I could feel her body shaking as she cried silently. Phil remained quiet, his eyes fixed solely on the road ahead, only turning to face me after the car stopped at home.

"Go on inside," my mother told him. "Call the doctor and ask him to come quickly. She needs something to calm her. I'll stay here with her for now, just until she stops crying. The last thing we need is for the neighbours to ask questions… seeing her like this will only make it much worse for her when she's feeling better."

He nodded and slipped out of the car, leaving my mother and me alone.

"Isabella, how long was it going on?" she asked me. "Did you stop seeing the boy at all after Phil told you otherwise?" I shook my head and I heard her sigh. "Oh, Isabella, what has he done to you?"

I didn't speak, not a word. Besides the fact, I doubted I had any voice left after the hours spent crying and screaming, but there was no possible way I could tell her anything. Remembering him was painful enough, talking about him was something I simply couldn't do.

After a long time alone with my mother in the car, she wiped my face with a handkerchief and helped me out of the car. She kept her arm around me, keeping me on my feet and slowly we walked into the house. Ms. Cope was standing in the doorway, looking as worried and panic-stricken as my mother had been. The two women escorted me upstairs and into my bedroom.

"The doctor is on his way, Mrs. Dwyer," she told my mother. "Shall I draw her a bath? She's trembling—maybe it's shock?"

"Yes, I think that's wise." My mother sat me down on the bed, and stood watching me carefully. "I shudder to think what happened to her. When we arrived she was curled up in a ball on the floor crying… Phil said the Cullen's just left without word. Did you know she'd been seeing the Edward boy?"

Hearing his name cut right through me and I cried out, covering my ears with my hands begging her to stop. "Please don't say it, please don't say it again," I cried.

My mother held out her hands, trying again to soothe me but I rebuffed her advances and clambered across the bed and sat in the corner of the room, gripping onto my chest as though that would somehow ease the pain of losing him. Ms. Cope and my mother stood watching me silently until the doctor arrived. I knew he would have something to numb the pain, to numb the thoughts inside my head, so I let him check me over. I heard him say things like, "Shock and trauma," and then I felt a sharp pain in my leg before a black cloud rolled over me, taking the pain and fear with it.

Even before I was asleep, I prayed that I wouldn't wake up and remember what happened, yet at the same time the thought terrified me. I was too scared to remember yet terrified to the point of insanity to forget.

*SIFY*

I had no idea if I was waking up after one medically induced fog or if Dr. Gerandy had administered more medication, but when I opened my eyes I enjoyed a blissful few seconds of nothingness before I remembered why I was here… how my mother had found me and once again the pain took over. Ms. Cope and my mother were sitting by my bedside, looking nervous at how I would act when I fully gathered my bearings.

I could see they were waiting for another hysterical outburst, so I did my best to remain as calm as I could on the outside even though inside I was screaming… crumbling… dying.

"Isabella? Oh, thank goodness." My mother visibly relaxed when I smiled and squeezed my hand tightly. "What on earth happened to you?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I whispered. "Please, I can't talk about… it."

She nodded and then stood up quickly. "Now you're awake I want the doctor to check you again and make sure you're okay."

I nodded once and watched her leave the room, feeling a strange sense of relief when she closed the door and left me alone with Ms. Cope. She had been the one person in the house who I didn't need to hide my feelings for Edward from. She knew how much he had consumed me and I hoped she knew me well enough to leave it alone and sense that I simply couldn't talk about him.

She reached over and took my hand, shaking her head sadly. "Isabella, I can see you're hurting so badly. Please know I can be here to listen and not judge; whenever you want to talk about it. Trust me when I say keeping it inside only hurts you further down the line… it's taken me years to talk about my husband. The pain of losing him was too much to bear so I can understand what you're going through, sweetheart, really I can."

I closed my eyes and warm tears ran down my cheeks. Ms. Cope instantly wiped them away with a handkerchief before dabbing at her own eyes.

"You poor thing. You poor, poor thing." She didn't say anything else, but remained at my side until the doctor arrived with my mother and Phil.

"Ms. Cope, would you prepare Isabella some lunch?" my mother asked softly. "She hasn't eaten for two days now and she needs to keep her strength somehow."

Ms. Cope nodded once and then scurried from the room. I let the doctor do his checks again and told him the answers I thought he would want to hear.

"She's recovered nicely," he told my parents. "The stress of whatever occurred must have just been too much for her mind to deal with."

"She is highly strung," Phil told him. "You know how teenage girls can be, Doctor—a tendency to overreact and create an issue out of nothing."

"Yes I remember my daughter's teenage years only too well," the doctor said with a smile. "Give her a day or two and she'll be back to her best, won't you, Isabella?"

I forced a smile, almost laughing at the absurdity of the suggestion. I would never be back to my best because my best belonged to one person alone. The one person I had lost.

"It was an infatuation that got out of hand. She ignored my warning to stay away from the Cullens and now look where it has gotten her. Did you have any dealings with them?" Phil asked the doctor and I felt my breaths become rapid and shallow at the mere mention of the name. "I knew they were trouble from the very second they appeared in Winnetka. I tried to discover what they were trying to hide but they covered their tracks well—that's probably why they left; knew I was onto them."

I laughed darkly at his self-assurance. "You are deluded," I sneered and heard my mother gasp. "You know nothing about any of the… any of the… they were kind and generous and you were threatened by their wealth and status."

"Isabella!" my mother hissed but I ignored her, as much as it hurt to talk about them, I knew in my heart whatever their reasons for leaving they had not deserved the hatred aimed at them by Philip Dwyer.

"Your envy was embarrassing and like a petulant child you sought to try and destroy any chance they had of fitting in with the people here. You think what you will, but the only reason people around here pretend to show you respect is just out of fear. You, your father, your entire family command respect and have done for so many years that people know nothing else. Without your money or your businesses you would have nothing… nobody." I glared at him as I spoke and he looked at me in astonishment.

"That's enough, Isabella," my mother said harshly, looking between Phil and me anxiously.

"It's enough when I say it's enough." I sat up and pointed my finger at him. "Had anyone given that family a chance they would have realized that respect should be earned not commanded and you would have lost your alpha male role in this town. You hated that prospect and that is why you made it your intent to discredit everything about them. So they had a secret? Doesn't everybody? You know that to be true better than most, Philip Dwyer. Imagine the scandal if everyone was to discover who Charles Swan was? Does that make you realize no one is infallible? I truly hope so."

Dr. Gerandy looked embarrassed, my mother pretty much terrified, and Phil? Well, for the first time in as long as I could remember Philip Dwyer was speechless; livid but speechless.

"Dr. Gerandy, please forgive my daughter. You can understand she's just not herself right now. Perhaps you should leave and we can let her recuperate." My mother put her hand on the doctor's shoulder and escorted him from the room.

Phil didn't move, he stared at me, his eyes full of rage and my heart thumped in my chest as I wondered what he might do to me in retaliation. After he was sure we were alone, he took one step forward and said in a tone which was dark and intent. "How dare you? For seventeen years I've treated you as my own daughter. You have wanted for nothing and yet still I have to be subjected to an outburst like that. I do imagine the gossip in town would be fierce if people were to discover you are not my daughter, but one of a criminal killed in a botched attempt at a bank robbery. Yes, I suspect my reputation would be tarnished, but, Isabella, the reputation of your mother's would be destroyed. You should consider her before threatening me."

"You don't scare me," I told him.

"I should," he seethed. "You really should fear me and the power I have over your future."

He took another step forward and I honestly thought he might strike me, but Ms. Cope flung open the door and ran to my side. "Mr. Dwyer, Sir, perhaps you should leave and cool off. Nothing good can come of this conversation when you are so angry. I will talk to Isabella and remind her of her manners."

He turned his look of fury onto Ms. Cope, but then without saying anything he nodded once and strode from the room.

"What were you thinking, aggravating him like that?" She took a deep breath and shook her head. "You have a penchant for trouble, Isabella."

"I was simply speaking the truth," I said nonchalantly. "I have no tolerance for him anymore; not after everything that has happened."

"Will you please talk to me about that?" she asked, but I shook my head.

"There is nothing to say." I looked at my bracelet and the diamond heart still hanging on the leather cuff. "All that was good in my life has gone, but I have realized that I have had enough of being agreeable Isabella Dwyer. I have had enough of listening to people tell me what I should do, say, and think. I may have lost the one thing that I was certain of above all else, but I will not give up on trying to find peace in a place that I control."

Ms. Cope chuckled. "Seventeen years of keeping the real you hidden away and this is who you choose to reveal. I have no idea what plan you are concocting in that head of yours, but please be safe and think carefully before you do anything."

I lay back on the bed and smiled. The pain was still there, as agonizing and consuming as ever and I assumed it would be there for a long time to come, but I gained a sense of relief—albeit just slightly—when I thought about what I could do now. Thanks to that one person; that one irreplaceable boy, I knew I could be more than this, more than an unbound slave to a life I had no desire to live. I could be the real Isabella… I could be a version of _his _Bella and I knew in order to be her I had to leave. Where I would go, I truly had no idea but that was the best part. I craved the unknown, the spontaneity and the chance to live without the eyes of overbearing parents.

"I hate to ask this of you," I said and Ms. Cope sighed. "But, I could really do with your help one more time."

"You plan to leave?" she asked, already knowing my answer. "When?"

"As soon as possible."

"It isn't going to be easy," she told me, sitting on my bed and resting her hand on my leg. "Your mother will be reluctant to leave your side after recent events and I dare say your outburst today will only make Phil more determined to control your movements."

I nodded, thinking of a reason to draw my parents away. I would need at least a full day; perhaps even a night too, otherwise I would barely have the time to leave Winnetka before my parents would raise the alarm.

"I do believe there is a special evening planned at your grandfather's house to celebrate his birthday," Ms. Cope said, before adding, "But I suppose you would be expected there."

"I doubt very much Phil will want me to attend if I continue to act like this." I grinned. "Maybe a few more confrontations might prompt him to enforce another punishment to remain in the house helping you with your chores?"

Ms. Cope didn't like the plan, but then again I doubt she would have liked any plan which resulted in my running away, but she also knew better than to try and convince me otherwise. Instead, I knew that she would do all she could to help me stay safe in whatever I chose to do.

"You would need to get to Chicago quickly and then straight onto a bus elsewhere. The city will be the first place your parents would look when they find you missing." Her hands were shaking slightly, and her voice was trembling. "Please, Isabella, I could go with you."

"No," I told her. "I need to do this by myself and I cannot take you away from here. Whatever I may think of Phil, his family have always been good to you. I think you will be able to offer my mother some degree of comfort, too."

She reluctantly agreed and we spent the next hour or so discussing the finer details of my plan. I sensed that her own history was fundamental in her decision to help rather than try and stop me. She, more than most, understood what it was like to be controlled and to fight for what you wanted. The only difference in our situation was I had to do this alone, but still I knew without a trace of doubt that this was what I had to do. I wanted this; I craved this, and whatever happened I would achieve it .

* * *

**Hope you liked it!**

**More to come soon.**

**Thanks,**

**Katy**

**xxx**


	12. Chapter 12

**A massive thank you to Prettyflour and Kitty for their help with this chapter! All mistakes are mine and all characters are Stephenie Meyer's!**

**Chapter 12**

I think Ms. Cope assumed my resolve would falter in the days after Edward left and that I would change my mind about leaving Winnetka alone. Although she never tried to talk me out of it, neither did she bring it up again in conversation. It was an unspoken topic which was always at the forefront of both of our minds. She would look on sadly as I sat in my own little world, planning how exactly I would leave and where I would go.

I decided that I would take the train into Chicago. Winnetka was on the North Shore Line into the city and it was seldom used by people in my parents' social circles, who were more concerned with being seen around town in their shiny new cars.

After I arrived in Chicago, I planned to continue moving but where to, I still had no idea.

After the first day following the Cullen's departure, I started to try to maintain a sense of normality for both the sake of my mother, who was worrying incessantly about my well-being, and in order to try and convince both her and Phil that I could be left unsupervised for a few hours.

On the outside I was everything that was expected of me. I accompanied my parents to the club the following Friday night and I remained polite, well presented, and gave no indication that on the inside I was barely able to take a breath. I couldn't sleep at night, the nightmares I had kept me awake. It was always the same dream; I was running to him, he was there… almost within my reach but with every step I took he got further and further away. I could see him trying to shout something to me, but I couldn't hear what and I would wake up crying out for him to stop.

Thankfully, it was always Ms. Cope who heard me and not my parents. Only she seemed to fully understand how deeply his absence was affecting me, but she never voiced her concerns to my parents; she just made sure to be there whenever I needed her, and that included comforting me after a nightmare at two in the morning.

The pain I felt losing Edward was almost crippling but I was not going to be the girl who let it defeat her and instead I used it to fuel me… to strive forward and do everything I said I was going to do. I danced with the boys who asked, engaged in polite conversation but gave nothing of myself away to them. I tried to be the old Bella when I was with Lauren and Jessica, and they seemed content that I was perfectly normal but the tedious lifestyle was all the more grating now and my desperation to leave was becoming more and more intense with each passing hour.

The town gossip surrounding the Cullen's swift and suspicious departure from Winnetka was rife at first. There were whispers that the youngest boy—Edward—had done something to hurt me after the doctor was seen visiting our home several times in just a few days. To give Phil credit where it was due, he used his powerful position in town to stem the gossip—at least in his company anyway—and for that I was thankful.

I knew he hadn't done it to save me any distress or humiliation, but simply to avoid any further embarrassment at the antics of his young daughter who involved herself with a family who despite everybody's earlier attempts to befriend them, were now considered to be the lowest of the low. Speculation was that the Cullen's were nothing but common criminals presumably on the run from the authorities for crimes committed back in Alaska, and Phil did nothing to dispel those rumours. I still felt an overwhelming loyalty to the entire family, despite the painful circumstances surrounding their disappearance, but I always remained quiet, knowing it would be a futile effort and also wanting to make sure my parents remained convinced I was getting better.

I thought about Edward often, something he had said or done in our time together was always playing over and over in my mind. I refused to forget about him and tried my best to commit every single feature of his face, his body, his hands and smell to my memory. The gift he'd given me for my birthday I still wore, refusing to take it off even at night and the note which accompanied the gift I looked at each night before I went to sleep. Even though I knew it not to be true, I wanted to at least pretend that at one moment those words were true… that he did in fact love me.

In the very bottom of my closet was a bag, just large enough to fit several items of clothing and basic toiletries. It was already packed ready for me to leave at a moment's notice. The only issue I currently had was money to support myself for the first few days until I could find work. I had nothing I could access. The money put aside for me by Phil and my mother was still under their control until I turned eighteen and my allowance was still being withheld following my trip to Chicago with Lauren, Jessica, and Mike.

I asked my mother for small amounts here and there under the pretence they were for small items from the store and then hid the money away to accumulate, but I knew that would take time and I was desperate to leave as quickly as I could. So, I planned to ask my grandparents after church and tell them a lie that I wanted to buy my parents a gift to say sorry for my behaviour in the past few weeks. I didn't like to lie to people, but I had to do it… I hated what this town had come to represent. Solitude, suffocation, boredom, desperation and fear that there was nothing else life had to offer.

When Sunday arrived, I dressed in my mother's favourite dress, curled my hair the way she liked it best, and acted like the perfect daughter while we attended mass. Afterwards, I followed my parents outside, assuming we would all leave for my grandparents' house together, but I was wrong.

"Go on home with Ms. Cope, Isabella," Phil told me. "Your grandfather is taking us all out to lunch at a friend's house; we have some business matters to discuss. Be sure to do as Ms. Cope asks."

This would be my perfect opportunity to leave, the first time I would be alone since that night and yet I had nowhere near enough money to support myself.

"Okay," I said.

Phil and my grandparents walked off, leaving my mother and me alone while Ms. Cope was talking to other members of the congregation. At first she said nothing, she simply watched me with a sad expression on her face.

"We will be out until late, darling," she said, her voice shaking slightly. "I expect I won't see you again… before bed I mean."

I nodded once, sensing she knew something was going on, but I had no idea what to say to her. I saw a tear roll down her cheek and she pulled me to her; hugging me tightly, more tightly than she had in a long, long time.

"I love you," she whispered. "Be safe, Isabella, I beg you. Wherever you go, please keep yourself out of harm's way."

I moved back to look at her. She knew of my plan? How?

The expression on my face made her smile sadly. "I know I try to pretend otherwise, but inside I'm still the girl completely infatuated with the boy who stole her heart eighteen years ago. There are some people who change us so profoundly, Isabella, that it is impossible to ever go back to who we used to be. When I lost your father, I had you to consider—your well-being to put first, but you don't have that and I understand why you cannot stay."

"I… I… but… you won't stop me?"

"You are better than this… better than anything this town has to offer so how could I possibly try to stop you?" She smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Careful not to draw attention to our conversation she took a step further back, choosing instead to hold my hand. "I put some money into your bag before we left. It's all I could manage without raising Phil's suspicions but it should be enough to sustain you for several weeks until you get on your feet. Just promise me you'll be careful?"

"I will," I said and tried not to cry. All these years I thought she had no idea how I felt, how much I hated my life and here she was giving me everything I needed to leave, including her blessing. "I promise I will."

"I love you," she whispered and then we both flinched at Phil's booming voice.

"Renee!"

She scurried away and I was quite literally rooted to the spot. I watched as they drove away with my grandparents and my eyes filled with tears as realisation hit home that I would likely not see my mother again.

"We need to get home," Ms. Cope told me. I hadn't even noticed she was at my side and I allowed her to pull me gently away. "There is a train leaving Metra in just over an hour but that will be a risky move, Isabella; anybody could see you and tell Mr. Dwyer. There is another this evening; perhaps that would be a safer option?"

"No," I shook my head. "The more time I have, the further I can go."

"Whatever you think best," she said, her voice tinged with sadness. "At least help me try and disguise your appearance."

"How in the world can you do that?" I asked doubtfully.

"I have my ways, trust me."

*SIFY*

Ms. Cope's disguise consisted of an old, relatively tatty dress and coat which she had owned for years. It was certainly not anything _Isabella_ _Dwyer_ would wear. She gave me a pair of dark glasses, which considering the bright sunshine in the sky, I knew would not seem out of place, and she concealed my hair in an old fashioned, flowery bonnet.

"Anyone on the train who might know you will not be expecting to see you there alone and certainly not dressed like this, so you should at least be able to maintain anonymity until you reach Chicago." She fussed with the bonnet and then sighed. "I hope helping you is the right thing to do, Isabella. I would hate for anything to happen to you."

"You did it," I reminded her.

"Yes I did," she agreed. "But I had my husband at my side. You have nobody and the world can be a frightening place for someone like you."

"Don't worry about me." I gave my loyal friend a hug and kissed her cheek. "I will write to you as soon as I can, but the letters obviously won't be from Isabella Dwyer—not until I'm legally an adult anyway."

"And have you given any thought to your new name?" she asked, smiling.

"Yes, and you'll just have to wait and see what it is." I giggled and she shook her head.

"Do take care," she said and I nodded. "I hope you find what you're looking for out there, I really do."

"I will, I know I will." I gave her one final hug and then opened the door, checking there was no one around before I left. "Goodbye, Ms. Cope."

"Shelly," she said with a smile.

"Your name is Shelly?" I asked. "I can't believe I never knew that."

"Well, my given name is actually Ethel, but I never liked that. For reasons I still don't understand, Donald took to calling me Shelly when we first met and it stuck. Those who know me best call me Shelly and you fall unequivocally into that bracket, Isabella."

"I won't forget what you've done for me," I told her earnestly. "I love you very much."

"And I you, Isabella, like my own daughter. Now you need to go, I don't want you to miss your train. Your new life is waiting for you." She ushered me outside with a soft but sad laugh.

"Bye," I said one last time and then walked as quickly as I could onto the street and towards the station.

Sunday lunchtime was always quiet in Winnetka and today was no different. The train station was almost deserted. There was no one here who I knew and I relaxed a little, knowing my chances of leaving town unnoticed were increasing. When the train arrived I boarded and was delighted to see how little notice anyone gave me. I paid my fare and took a seat, looking out one final time at Winnetka.

One dollar and twenty five was the cost for my ticket and the cost of a new life. It was a short journey and the route would take me through Kenilworth and Wilmette before arriving at my final destination.

I thought about Edward and in a moment of panic I wondered what would happen if he ever came back looking for me. How would he find me if no one knew where I was planning to go once I reached Chicago? For the briefest of moments I considered going back but then I scolded myself for being irrational. Edward Cullen left without a word and he was never coming back.

*SIFY*

If Winnetka on a Sunday lunch time was deserted and quiet, Chicago in comparison was a hive of activity. I stumbled through the station and tried to figure out what to do next. I had no idea where to go from here. I knew staying here was not an option, it would be the first place people would look for me and I needed to get as far away as I could.

I was still standing there like a lost child when someone tapped me on the shoulder.

"You need some help?"

I turned around and came face to face with an older looking lady. She had tanned skin, dark curly hair pinned back from her face, wide-rimmed glasses and a kind smile on her face. "You look like a lost little lamb, honey."

"I'm just a little tired, it's been a long journey," I told her as assertively as I could. "I just need to find a bed for the night."

"I can help you with that," she offered but I shook my head.

"It's not necessary, really." I smiled and she just laughed.

"Listen, honey, a girl like you can get swallowed up in a place like this. I don't know what you're running from and I don't care, but I do care about you ending up on a slab in the morgue because you wandered into the wrong part of town alone. Come with me, have something to eat and a good night's sleep and then I'll help you find your way tomorrow."

I hesitated, not sure what to do. I had no idea who this woman was but she had been kind enough to offer to help, and perhaps spending a night somewhere safe would give the chance to plan my next move. Maybe she could offer some advice on what I could do?

"Thank you, that's very generous of you." I smiled and added, "I can pay you for the trouble?"

"No need, honey. I rented a room for the one night not too far away from here and it's already paid for."

"You're only here for one night?" I asked.

"I've been visiting my family and have a long journey to San Francisco to begin tomorrow. I figured one night in a comfortable bed was the best idea before I'm stuck on that train. Come on, how about something to eat?" She indicated her head to a small diner across the road. "I'm starving."

I followed her nervously and we took a seat in a booth. The waitress brought us coffee and asked us for our order.

"Two of today's specials?" the woman said and looked at me to confirm.

"Yes, thank you." I nodded and the waitress left.

"I'm Angela Weber and I can be your friend until we part ways tomorrow. It looks like you need one." She smiled and reached over the table, squeezing my hand. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

"Not really," I admitted and she laughed.

"Well, okay then," she said.

I didn't know what to say, so we sat in silence until our food arrived and then we continued to eat in silence. I was almost finished when I saw a policeman enter the diner and walk to the counter and whisper something to the waitress.

Instantly assuming my parents had returned home early and raised the alarm, I cowered into the corner of the booth, trying to hide myself from his line of sight. Angela noticed immediately and raised her eyes suspiciously.

"He's not here for you, honey," she told me quietly. "I come here whenever I'm in town and this place is a favourite for the cops. I think that one has a particular taste for the waitress so don't worry."

"I wasn't-" I began to say, but she just laughed.

"Whoever you're running from won't find you here. I'll help you stay hidden until tomorrow morning and then you can get out of town once and for all. Are you sure you won't tell me about it?"

I looked at this strange woman who was being incredibly nice to me without expecting anything in return. She seemed genuine despite the fact I'd known her all of fifteen minutes. I had no idea what to do next and maybe she could offer some advice?

"I'm from a powerful and wealthy family and I hated the idea of having to live in that way. There was no way my father would ever allow me to leave and I just couldn't bear to stay. I left earlier today while they were out and I suspect they'll be looking for me as soon as they arrive home."

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen," I told her. "I always wanted to do something more with my life than how I was brought up. I want to help people, I want to do something for others and and when I broached the subject of possibly choosing nursing as a career, my father refused to even consider it. He wanted me to marry a wealthy, respectable boy and live the life he chose for me. I didn't want that—not in the slightest—so here I am. I have no idea what to do or where to go but I refuse to return home."

"You're interested in nursing?" Angela asked and then laughed. "Well how about that? It seems you and I was destined to meet. I'm on my way back to work—I'm in the Nursing Corps."

"You are?" I asked excitedly. "Do you like it?"

She nodded. "Sure I do. I'm actually starting a new job teaching new recruits," she said with a wink. "We need to make sure we have the numbers ready… just in case."

"In case our men have to go and fight?" I asked and she nodded once. "Do you think I could come with you?"

"I'll need to pull a few favors… but I know a few people who can make it happen. I'm sure we can work something out."

"Thank you, thank you so much," I said, delighted with the turn of events.

"We'll have to create a new you," she told me. "You need to be older than seventeen that's for sure. We can work on that later though, we have plenty of time—it's a long journey to San Francisco."

I nodded eagerly. "Is that where you work?"

"It's a stop along the way," she told me, laughing at the eagerness in my face and voice.

"Before we discuss anything else, there's something else you need to tell me." She sounded serious and I panicked slightly, wondering what she was going to ask. Seeing my response she laughed again and shook her head. "I'm talking about your name, honey."

"Oh, my name," I said and smiled. Thinking back to my conversation with Ms. Cope just before I left, I knew exactly what to say. Time to be the real me once and for all. "It's Bella Swan."

**A/N Thank you for reading, reviewing, pimping and alerting! **

**I will try and post again as soon as possible—I have a plan just no time to sit down and write!**

**I hope you can stick with me & I'll try not to keep you waiting too long.**

**TTFN**

**Katy**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you to Kitty & Prettyflour for all their help. I own nothing. Sort of nervous about this chapter… eek**

**Chapter 13**

I was standing here again; alone on the beach with the waves lapping at my ankles. The clouds were heavy and dark and I could feel raindrops starting to hit my upturned hands as I looked up to the sky. From nowhere a cold shiver rippled through my body and I sensed someone approaching. The darkness of the sky had initially reflected my mood; dark and dreary, but not anymore. Those feelings vanished in an instant and were replaced with ones I craved in _his _absence. I felt safe, happy, and complete as I knew _he _was there with me. His presence still affected me so profoundly and I knew that was something that would never ever change.

"You're here," I breathed, refusing to look at him. "Why are you here, Edward?"

"I miss you," he said. His voice sounded almost tortured, yet still I could not allow myself to turn to face him.

"And I miss you, too. So very much, but you left me." As I gazed up at the sky fighting with every desire in my body to allow myself one final glance at his face, his eyes—those intense, captivating eyes that I could do no justice to in any memory. "You left me broken, Edward, and I just can't heal again."

"I left for _you_, Bella. I left because I knew staying with you meant only one thing for you and I couldn't let that happen." He reached out to one of my hands but I snatched it away quickly. "Please look at me, Bella?"

The desperation and agony in his voice almost tore me in two, but I had to remain strong. Hearing his voice would be hard enough to recover from, there was no possibility my fragile mind could ever deal with seeing him.

"Bella, please."

I ignored his pleas and focused on the sky above. The rain that had begun to fall had now stopped and rays of sunlight were trying to break through the cloud cover. "The sun will be out soon," I said to him. "That means you must leave."

"I want to stay here with you," he said.

"But you can't… you left… and now you must leave again." Already the pain was crippling me and I almost relented just to see his face one final time, but I held fast and squeezed my eyes shut for a few seconds.

When I opened them again, the sunlight was now filtering through more and more strongly, lighting up the sky and reflecting like diamonds from the water. It was more than bright enough to hurt Edward, yet still he remained by my side.

"You must go, Edward," I told him. "Please. Knowing you're out there somewhere… anywhere is the only peace I can find without you in my life. Go. Now."

I was growing angrier and angrier. How dare he show up like this? How dare he leave me alone and then return so briefly? He had no intention of staying with me, so how could he put me through the agony of losing him all over again?

"Be happy, Bella," he whispered. "I want nothing more than for you to live a happy and fulfilled life. I want you to live just as you would had I never existed—had fate allowed me to die all those years ago."

"I can't," I said, my voice cracking. "I can't live without you, Edward. This is merely an existence for me now. I'm trying, I'm trying so hard to forget you… to move on but the thought alone terrifies me, and then you show up here… like this. Please, Edward, don't come back again. If you truly loved me then you need to let me go once and for all."

I closed my eyes again allowing warm tears to fall down my cheeks. I felt his fingertips graze my lips and his sweet, honey-tinged breath washed over me one final time and then I knew he was gone. Suddenly the realisation that I'd spent all these weeks praying he would return once more only to send him away when he did, hit me like a freight train and with a desperate cry of his name I opened my eyes. I saw him barefoot in the sand, walking slowly away into the shadow of the forest.

"Edward, please wait," I cried at the top of my lungs, running after him as fast as I could. "Edward stop!"

Still, he continued to walk and no matter how hard I tried, neither he, nor the tree line came any closer, if anything it started to fade into the distance. I continued to call out to him, pleading with him to turn around so I could _really_ see him one final time, but he never did. I sank to my knees, sobbing and calling him over and over again.

"I'm sorry. Don't leave me, please don't," I begged. "I have to see you, please, Edward, please."

Just as he was about to disappear completely, he turned slowly around to look at me, but I couldn't see his face; he was too far from me and before I even had chance to try and run to him again, he was gone.

I curled up into a ball, grains of sand sticking to my skin as tears rolled endlessly down my face, still calling out to him, pleading with him.

"Don't go, Edward, please come back to me, please… please… please…"

I felt a hand tighten around my arm and begin to shake me softly as they shouted my name. I dared to hope it was Edward, but slowly my mind began to realize exactly what was going on.

"Bella, honey, wake up," the voice continued to say to me and my eyes fluttered open. "There she is. Come on, Bella, you were having that nightmare again."

Angela was bending over me with that same expression on her face that had been there since the first morning she had to wake me because of the same dream.

"Sorry," I croaked as I wiped my eyes which were still wet from the real tears that had fallen. "I just can't seem to stop it from happening."

"You might find talking about it helps." She handed me a drink of water. "You left something behind that really left its mark on you, Bella. It isn't healthy to keep that kind of pain bottled up—trust me."

What was there to say? There was no way I could ever begin to define the relationship Edward and I shared, no matter how brief it may have been, and I certainly couldn't begin to explain anything about the man… or boy… himself.

I shook my head and saw her sigh. "I just can't… not now. I'm sorry, Angela."

It was the same dream over and over again, with not one single detail that changed. I was on the beach, the clouds were dark and the rain about to fall, then Edward would appear but I could never bring myself to look at him. Instead I told him over and over to leave, to go, and when he started to walk away, I did all I could to stop him. Every single time he turned to look at me and not once could I ever really see his face. It was nothing but a blur in the distance and that was usually the point Angela woke me up.

"We'll be in San Francisco in an hour and then we have a day to get your papers all in order before we leave for our assigned post."

In order to travel with Angela and start the training she had promised, I would have to be at least eighteen. She apparently knew a man who could get me exactly what I needed, so we were meeting with him as soon as we disembarked at the station.

During the journey from Chicago, she had me rehearsing my new date of birth and background over and over again. She told me to stick relatively close to the truth so it was easier to remember. So, if and when anybody asked me, I met Angela in Chicago following an argument with my overprotective father about leaving home. I was from a wealthy family and led a sheltered and somewhat restricted life right up to the point I turned eighteen. I wanted to see the world for myself and most certainly didn't want to start thinking about finding a suitable husband like my mother had hoped for. I met Angela, expressed my interest in eventually becoming a nurse and she offered to help me.

At first I was just going to be a volunteer in the hospital where she and the rest of her friends would be based and Angela would simply show me the ropes in her free time. To say I was grateful to be getting this opportunity from a relative stranger was an understatement. Angela had been nothing short of a fairy godmother sent to answer my prayers these past few days and I wondered what on earth I would have done without her.

"As soon as we have everything in order, you can meet the rest of the girls." Angela rifled through a bag and handed me a crumpled photograph of her and five other women. "This was taken after we enlisted, a few years ago now."

I pointed to one girl who looked very much younger than the rest and before I had chance to even ask, Angela said, "That's Maggie. She lied about her age to get in and managed to persuade me to ignore it. She was sixteen here and one of the nicest girls you could meet but incredibly naïve. I see a lot of her in you, which happens to be why I was so forthcoming with you. Everybody has something in their past they'd rather forget, but it doesn't have to define your future."

"I disagree," I said without thinking and Angela cocked her head.

"You do?"

"Yes. Things from your past do define who you become and you can't escape that, no matter how hard you try."

"Define you, perhaps, but these experiences shouldn't control you, Bella. You'd be wise to remember that."

I nodded and tried to return the discussion to the picture in her hand. "Who are the others?"

*SIFY*

After arriving in San Francisco, Angela and I headed straight to her "contact." It was in a none too desirable part of town, but she seemed to know it and the people we encountered well. I followed behind her anxiously, refusing to look at anybody we passed.

Jenks, as she called him, was waiting for us in a dilapidated old house. I felt the crunch of glass under my feet from the smashed windows, and wondered why he would run a business from such a place.

"Angela, nice to see you again," the man purred at her. "And it's very nice to meet you, too."

"Eyes to yourself, Jenks. You know the deal we have. I put out after you give me what I want."

"All work and no play, darling," he said to her and then looked in my direction. "Okay, so tell me who you need to be."

Angela pushed me forwards and said, "Go for it, Bella."

"The name is Bella Swan and my date of birth is 9.13.23."

"Sure it is," he said with a laugh as he scribbled down the details on a scrap of paper. "Parents?"

"Charles and Renee Swan," I told him.

He asked me a few other questions and then told Angela he'd have everything ready later that evening.

"We need to get you some clothes and a hair-cut and then your transformation is complete, honey," she told me.

"I don't know if I have enough money for clothes," I said worriedly. "My mother gave me a little amount before I left-"

"I got it covered," Angela said with a wink. "I have a few people I know in this town and they all owe me."

"How?"

"Let's just say I had a colourful start in life and made some valuable connections before I found my calling."

"What kind of start?" I asked but she just laughed.

"Who's Edward?" She waited for me to answer and when I didn't, she said softly, "Trust works both ways, Bella."

I looked on in amazement as Angela brought me to a very upmarket and very expensive looking shop. There were beautiful dresses in the display and an assortment of outfits inside. Ironic considering the majority of my clothes had originated somewhere just like this courtesy of my mother and Phil's money, but not anymore.

We were greeted by an overweight, older man who actually mopped his brow with a handkerchief when he saw Angela.

"Marcus," she said to him, almost seductively and he loosened the top button on his shirt. "You're not here alone are you?"

"No, no. Didi is just in the back, I'll call her now. How much are you going to take me for this time?" He sounded a little disgruntled, yet eager at the same time and I was confused.

"Bella needs a new wardrobe entirely, Marcus, and I told her this was the place to come. Have Didi set her up with everything she needs and you and I can settle the balance upstairs." Angela turned to me and said, "Stay here and I'll be back soon."

"Where are you going?" I whispered.

"You don't need to worry about that, honey," she said and rubbed my arm. "It's nothing I haven't done a thousand times before."

I watched her disappear through a back door with Marcus and then a woman who I assumed was Didi, came to help me. We spent what felt like hours trying on clothes, shoes, and she even had me change into something new while I was in the store.

"May I use the restroom?" I asked.

"First door on the right through there," she said. "We're done here. I'll just bag this up for you."

I went through into the back and as I approached the door I heard loud banging and a man moaning and groaning upstairs. I tried not to listen, but the noises grew louder and louder and then I heard him call out Angela's name. I gasped in shock and scurried back into the store without using the restroom.

Didi saw my face and laughed darkly. "How did you think she was paying him?"

"Excuse me?"

"Marcus used to be a customer of Angela's back in the day."

"A customer?"

"Jesus, where did she find you, a convent?" Didi rolled her eyes. "Angela is a hooker, sweetheart. Or should I say was a hooker before she found her calling. She comes back every now and then, whenever she has a poor soul in need of intervention. They'll be back down soon enough. Just sit back and relax while you wait."

When Angela did finally reappear with Marcus looking even sweatier than he had before, I tried not to act any differently so she wouldn't know I'd heard them. I showed her the clothes with feigned enthusiasm and it was only when we got outside that I decided to be honest with her. Well, honest up to a point.

"Edward was my… um… well, I suppose he was my boyfriend," I told her and she looked a little shocked.

"You suppose?"

"It doesn't seem like the right word—not enough somehow. Edward was my whole life."

"Why are you telling me this?" she asked softly.

"I heard you and that man," I told her. "The thing you had to do... for me... I can never begin to repay you for all of this, so the least I can do is be honest about the nightmares."

"Listen, Bella. I was like you once, young, alone and desperate for something different to what I was used to. I didn't have anyone to look out for me and I lost my way. I'm not proud of who I used to be, but neither am I ashamed because I cannot change it and in a way it helped me become who I am today." We stopped walking and took a seat outside a small café. "I found my way eventually and I love what I do, but every now and then someone like you comes along and I know what _could_ happen, so I intervene in any way I can."

"Thank you," I said and she just smiled.

"You're welcome, Bella. Now, if you don't mind continuing your story. I'm more than a little intrigued to find out about Edward."

*SIFY*

After Angela had "settled the bill" with Jenks and we had my papers safely tucked away with the rest of my new clothes, we were on our way once again. This time our destination was the harbor before the final leg of our journey. I still had no idea where we were going; Angela seemed reluctant to share that with me as she thought Maggie would want that honor.

We met the rest of her friends and colleagues in a bar which was a stone's throw from the harbor. I hovered nervously behind Angela as we approached them.

"Ladies, this is Bella Swan," she said to them, and suddenly all eyes were on me. "She's coming with us and will be helping us out at the hospital. In return we'll show her everything we know."

"Hi there, Sweetie," a blonde greeted me warmly. "I'm Tanya, and if you need anything just give me a shout anytime day or night; we're all family here."

"Hello," I replied. "It's nice to meet you all. Angela has said really nice things about you."

"Well isn't she the sweetest little thing, Angie, where did you find her? She's precious." A tall redhead strode over to me and embraced me like we'd known each other for years. "I'm Victoria. Isn't she adorable, ladies?"

"She looks younger than my baby sister." The woman who spoke this time was not as friendly as the rest of the group. She was tall, blonde, but very harsh looking and her eyes were fixed solely on me.

"Bella's eighteen and blessed with youthful looks, right, Honey?" Angela said casually and I nodded.

"Well, I ain't here to babysit her, Angela," the woman sneered. "Keep her out of my way and we'll have no problem."

"As your superior, Irina, you'll remember your place and do as I ask. If I tell you to show Bella the ropes you'll do just that and without giving her attitude. Having someone like her there to support us will be invaluable. Imagine how much help she could be if we get an emergency situation? We can use Bella to keep the trays stocked and the wards prepared without taking any of us away from the people who need us." Angela glared at Irina who flushed with embarrassment at the dressing down she'd just received.

"Fine," she grumbled and walked away.

"Take no notice of Irina, she's always like that. You'll get used to her soon enough and trust me when I say she'll warm to you, too. She was just the same with me at first. I'm Maggie, it's really nice to meet you, Bella." I recognized the younger girl from the photo straight away. "Are you excited to start over?"

"I'm nervous," I admitted. "Angela has been great, but I really have no idea what to do yet. I've been interested in nursing as a career, but what Angela said about helping in an emergency panicked me. I mean, what if I'm not ready?"

Maggie laughed loudly and shook her head. "Bella, trust me when I say there'll be nothing to worry about. Where we're going is like being on a working holiday, there'll be training for you of course, but the rest will be such fun. We'll be surrounded by handsome, young, eager men falling over themselves to take us out on dates, and the worst injury you're likely to see is a bad case of sunburn."

"Really?" I asked and she nodded. "Where are we going?"

"Angela didn't tell you?" Maggie giggled and called out to Angela and the rest of the women, "Can I tell her now?"

"Sure, go for it. I knew you'd want to be the one to gush about where we'll be posted." Angela smiled. "You've got lucky, Honey, where we're going is every girls dream."

"And where is that exactly?" I asked eagerly and almost in unison, the rest of the girls shouted the answer.

"Hawaii!"

"Hawaii?"

"Oh yes, Bella, Hawaii. We'll be there for about eight months or so. Just about the entire fleet are stationed there so we have to be there in case anybody needs medical attention. Things could change quickly of course, but until then it's going to be so much fun… just wait until you see those men in their uniforms." Maggie waited for my response but the mere mention of men just made me think about the only boy who'd ever been able to hold my interest. "They will try every trick in the book to charm you, Bella. Just play hard to get and you'll be fine."

"I'm not really interested in the boys, Maggie," I said quietly.

"Oh, do you have a boyfriend already?" Maggie asked, but I shook my head despondently, ignoring the ache in my chest.

"Not anymore, she doesn't, Maggie, and Bella's going to have enough to focus on without men complicating matters for her."

"Well, give it some time and who knows what might happen, you're really going to be spoiled for choice."

I smiled politely, knowing it was pointless. It was futile trying to explain it; to try and tell her that I would never want anybody else. Edward was it for me, and as young as I was I knew that there was nobody else out there who could ever make me feel like Edward did. I wasn't here to meet boys or get over the one who'd left me all alone—I was here to make a new life for myself away from Winnetka and I was going to do it.

The women I was assigned to were sweet and helpful, all except Irina anyway. They included me in conversations and didn't treat me like a child. For only the second time in my life I felt liberated from the upbringing I'd had. It was not comparable to the time spent with Edward, but I never expected it to be. This new start came with absolutely no regrets.

**A/N So sorry this took so long... life is still hectic but hey ho. I'm working on a Geek To Chic update and as soon as that's done I'll start on the next SIFY. **

**Thank you all for reading & sticking with me!**

**I'll be back I promise.**

**Katy**

**X**


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